Hey, Buff. What’s your favourite Star Wars quote?
What?
Jaffah’s specialty subject.
[Opens a cupboard. Mutters.] Where the hell...?
Chewbacca. Am I right?
S1 E4Irukandji
You seem like a discerning kind of guy.
Oh, thank you, ma’am. I like to think so.
Hmm. I’m curious. Have you ever had any restaurant experience?
[Smugly.] I did happen to work for a couple of months in a Darlinghurst cafe.
Oh! That’s perfect.
Why?
You’ve just volunteered for galley duty. I want you to prepare dinner for the crew. Nothing too elaborate
It’s disgusting in there!
And don’t forget our guests.
Three months working in a cafe in Darlinghurst doesn’t qualify me to feed these morons.
[After a severe reaction to Irukandji, Cheofo wakes up.]
Toby? Toby, what’s wrong, mate? [Chefo opens his eyes.] Tobes?
[Sniffs.] Who’s in my galley?
[Mike's letter to Jaffah's parents after his death.]
Dear Mr and Mrs Jaffah. It is with great sadness that I write to you as Seaman John Jaffah’s commanding officer. Words cannot lessen your grief. I hope it comes as some small comfort to know your son was a fine young man and a fine sailor. His sense of humour, his devotion to duty and his loyalty to his friends made him an asset to the navy and, in particular, to the HMAS Hammersley. He will be greatly missed by all who had the honour and privilege to serve with him and he will never be forgotten. Again, I offer you my most heartfelt condolences. May the Force be with Jaffah. Yours sincerely, Mike Flynn.
S1 E5Under The Radar
[Watching Mike go to Bright Island.] Now I know why he wanted to go himself.
Hmm? [Looks through her binoculars. It’s Ursula Morrell.] Oh, he knew it was her all along. Naughty Mike.
[During an awkward silence.]
Chefo’s excelled himself tonight. The scran’s really good.
UUrsula
Scran?
Uh...
[Interrupting.] Stuff.
Stuff Cooked by the Royal Australian Navy.
UUrsula
I see.
Don’t let that put you off.
X, aren’t you officer of the watch this evening?
Yes. I’m sorry, sir. I was enjoying myself so much, I almost forgot I had somewhere else to be. Please excuse me.
UUrsula
She’s a bit lemon-lipped, isn’t she?
Please don’t take it personally. The XO hates to see an ice boat get away. She’s extremely dedicated.
[Nav grins a little.]
[Snatching the ultrasound.] Gimme. [Rotates it a few times.] Where’s the nipper?
[Pointing.] There. Head, arm, leg, ten cute little toes.
Looks like a frog.
It’s not a frog! It’s my gorgeous baby!
Which explains why it looks like a frog.
[Kate, ET and Spider are dressed up to go undercover.]
Oh, you look fabulous!
I would like to thank my personal stylist, Lieutenant Commander Mike Flynn, for the loan of his very favourite fishing shirt.
Black eye adds a degree of authenticity to the ensemble. Don’t you think?
[Nav laughs at ET.]
Ease off, Nav. I didn’t volunteer for this gig.
No, you're there because you failed to keep an eye on David.
Yeah, believe me, ET. No one volunteered for this gig.
[Nav keeps laughing.]
S1 E6Precious Cargo
[The crew are picking fish up off the deck after a storm.]
[Grabs a fish Buffer had picked up.] Oh! Buffer! You kiss me! Kiss me!
Unlike some of us, ET, I’ve got standards.
I reckon that Buffer’s a one-fish kind of guy.
Righto, you lot! I want these uppers clear for a freshwater washdown! Spider, you’re in charge!
Yes, Buff!
[They continue to throw fish over the side.]
That storm in the night sure made a mess. You ever seen it blow as big, ET?
Mate, I slept like a baby. Didn’t feel a thing. Don't know what you’re talking about.
You're pulling my chain, right? The waves were massive. They were at least 20 metres.
[ET laughs.]
20 metres, hey, Spide? You sure you weren’t asleep too?
[RO is collecting fish from the top of the mast.]
Squid for breakfast! [He throws a squid down.] Looks like we did some illegal fishing in that storm.
[Laughs.] You were saying?
I believe you, Spider. How else did we get all this seafood up here?
We’ll need to record the container’s serial number before we decide what to do with it. Who’s up for a recce? It’ll mean one of you in the drink.
[ET points at RO, who frowns. They play a quick game of paper-scissors-rock, ET throws scissors, RO throws paper.]
Suit up, RO. [Ro brushes past him.] He always goes paper.
Roger Romeo2, we might have to sink it. Over.
Wow, what about the Maritime salvaging rights, there might be a ferrari in this thing.
And who's gonna drive it back to base, Romeo? You?
Alright. I’m taking bets to see how many rounds it’ll take. My money’s on a single shot.
One shot for me.
Trust the Spider.
I vote for three. I think you boys might miss the first couple.
Whoo. Nav doesn’t think much of our gunnery skills.
Let’s focus on the job at hand.
Sorry, boss.
If the navy permitted a wager... I’d bet on two rounds of the 50-cal.
I’m with you, sir.
FFisherman
Hey Spider, is that you, mate? How are you going? How are those crabs we gave you?
[There is an awkward pause. Chefo sniggering in background.]
[Defensively.] They're talking about seafood. They gave me some crabs on Bright Island!
[Whole Crew laughs.]
Chefo, tell them about the crabs in the freezer.
I don't know what you're talking about, mate.
You did a terrible job wrapping this, mate!
Well, I only had one arm!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sea Patrol pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.