Buffer? Two men to stay on board.
ET. Jaffah. Good experience for him, ma’am.
Yeah, well, four weeks is a long time in the navy, I guess.
S1 E1Welcome Aboard
Uh, look, Kate. I haven’t had a chance to talk with you privately since you joined us.
No.
When we last met, on the course, I never expected we’d end up on the same ship, you being a big ship sort of person and me being wedded to patrol boats.
Yes, you’re right. I am a big ship sort of person.
Well, Hammersley has only got six months left in her, so...
As for anything else that may have happened between us, I’m sure two professionals can work together. Sir?
Yes. I’m sure.
Seaman Webb?
[Spider jumps up.]
Stay where you are. How are you feeling?
Um, fine, sir.
That’s interesting. You look like death warmed up.
That’s actually how I feel, sir.
First time away from home?
Yeah.
I know how it feels. Lying in this same rack, thinking about Mum’s roast dinners.
This was once your rack, was it, sir?
Carved my initials in there somewhere. I understand you did very well today on your first boarding party.
Yeah.
Keep it up.
Thank you, sir.
Word is you haven't been saluting the ship's mascot.
I'm supposed to salute it? Who is he?
It's Thor - the thunder god.
Oh, my mum wouldn't like me saluting him then. We're Presbyterian.
Don’t listen to him, Spider.
Oh, my name’s Billy. Billy Webb.
Yeah, that’s right. Spider Webb.
No, I had that all through school. I joined the navy to get away from it all.
Good luck with that, Spider.
Spider, take these smokes. Don’t give them back to me no matter what I say.
You giving up again are you, Buffer?
Looks that way, Chefo.
Sorry, Galley's closed. I'm off to save the world!
What’s happening, Buffer?
They’re still looking for a tube, sir.
[Looks thoughtful.] Tell X she’s got a pistol. Use it.
You want him to shoot her?
Tell X to break down her Browning, remove the 9-millimetre barrel, use it as a tube. Over.
Got it.
[Chuckles.] Shoot her.
Well, that’s one way of ending a crisis.
Where the hell’s Hammersley?
They might have forgotten about you, Jaff. But there’s no way they’re not coming back for me.
You reckon the X and Nav both want your body, don’t you?
Oh, that’d be the natural order of things, yeah.
[Yelling down the stairwell.] RO!
[Appearing around the corner.] There’s such a thing as a pipe sir.
Keep trying to raise ET and Jaffah.
As I was doing when you shouted, sir.
It’s freezing.
No it’s not. We’re too close to the equator.
Do we have any sharks in these waters?
No. The saltwater crocodiles scare ‘em away.
Crocodiles?
I’m joking.
You got my smokes?
Eh?
My smokes. You got ‘em?
You said not to given them to you.
That was then, this is now.
Yeah, but you said even if you asked.
Spider, I’m a gentle man. Don’t tempt me to violence.
I can’t. I swapped ‘em for some crabs.
You what?
I told you on the island, I met those fishermen.
And you gave them my smokes?
Yeah, it was a pretty good deal. [Buffer looks at him.] Sorry, sir.
Don’t call me ‘sir’, I work for a living.
Sorry, Buffer. [Pause.] What happens if we don’t find them? (ET and Jaffah.)
We’ll find them.
Yeah, but what if we don’t?
We keep looking.
How long do we keep looking?
Until we find them.
[Buffer is tapping on his legs, irritating everyone.]
You know, I’m all for giving up the smokes, Buff. But on the other hand... maybe you should start again.
Buff, I’ve got some chewy here.
Give it here.
So, ET, who set the FFV alight? You or Jaff?
Jaff.
Yeah, that figures. I picked him for an arsonist the moment he came on board.
But I think we can put that other thing behind us.
Other thing? Yeah, that’s what I’d call it. “Other thing.”
You’ve been on Hammersley now...?
48 hours, sir.
Welcome aboard.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sea Patrol pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.