KCKevin Casey
[to Ted] Hey Hair Club, that suit does it come with the flop sweat?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
JJanitor
Okay, look, attention roof-poopers! Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I'm going to make sure that you all live to regret this day, let's keep the magic rolling. Let's not tell anyone else that there's a toilet on the roof— [the Todd walks in] There is not a toilet on the roof!
But you just said there was!
JJanitor
No—yes, I did, but I was using a metaphor... ah, that means God is watching us. You've heard this... There's a "Toilet" on the "Roof". Right, people?
[Group agreement, Todd smiles, says "Cool!", does the sign of the cross and snaps his fingers before leaving]
KCDr. Kevin Casey
Damn roof toilet's got my number.
Can't lick it, huh?
KCDr. Kevin Casey
Oh God, no! I can't even sit on it!
Sir, I think I know how my problem concerns a loved one.
Go on.
It concerns me...?
Swing and a miss.
Shower Shorts?
For the man who has nothing to hide, but still wants to.
[talking to Ben] Hey, where's your camera? Aren't you... Aren't you gonna take some pictures?
Pictures of what?
Y'know, crying babies covered in chocolate. People singing "Happy birthday" to my son who've never even met him before? Y'know, the-- The whole routine!
[J.D. stares, then:]
Where do you think we are?
[Cox turns to Ben -- who has disappeared. He and J.D. walk into the graveyard.]
Listen, Abby, I didn't write to you for advice, so if you continue down this road you are going to be eating, breathing and relieving yourself through a tube of some kind! Signed, Dealing With It On His Own, from Kansas.
I once wrote to Abby because I didn't have any hair like the rest of the boys. By the time an answer came back it was like a forest down there! But, you know, nothing ventured.
I'm looking for streamers and a marching band because this will be the ceremonial one millionth time I've had to shake off something you've said.
Listen to me, never stick any part of your hairless body in my life again. Trust me, there is nothing for you to gain from it, because even if you went on a cruise to the furthest parts of the ocean and rescued my salt-soaked body in time to pump the sea water out of my lungs and bring me back from the brink of death, I would still be disappointed that the first face I saw was yours.
Well, you wouldn't see my face because it would be buried in your chest giving you the hug you've been afraid to ask for your whole life!
I can't find that girl's little pink doggie anywhere.
I got a pink doggie for you, but it's not little!
Todd, if you show me your penis, I'm going to take it away from you.
Do you think I got to be chief of medicine by being late?
No. You got there by back-stabbing and ass-kissing.
Maybe so, but I started those things promptly at eight.
Laverne, did you pull up Mr. Thompson's old charts?
He was here like 8 years ago complaining of the same abdominal pain, but as soon as he was given his pain medication, he went A.M.A.
So he just took the drugs and bolted?
No... he took some towels too.
You know, Dr Cox, you think that you have seen it all and done it all, but guess what? You haven’t done me. [Storms off.]
[Everyone turns to stare at Cox.]
Give her a second there, gang.
[Coming back.] That didn’t come out right.
Christopher!
Christopher? You only call me that when you're mad at me... or when we're having sex. Baby, are you mad when we're having sex?
...Sometimes.
Mr. Miliken just died and his family needs to be notified. And since I’m still kinda new at this, I was hoping you could do it.
So you steal my research project and now you want me to do your dirty work?
Dr Cox told me if you said that to say, “That’s right, Melinda.”
Do you even enjoy spending time with me?
"Enjoy" is such a strong word. I... I'm used to it! Y'know, like cafeteria food, or the constant threat of terrorism.
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