Get the keys from the cop?
Okay. Which one?
The one I'm sitting on!
All S1
S1 E21#MagicATM
S1 E22#Lumpatious
LLucas
(to his brother Jepson) Why you got to be so... lumpatious?!
WWoman
Hmm, do you have an appointment?
Yeah, I made one online.
WWoman
Cat Valentine and Samantha Pookay?
It's Puckett.
WWoman
My screen says Pookay.
I'm pretty sure it's Pookay.
Shouldn't I know?
Yeah, you should!
S1 E23#TheKillerTunaJump: #Freddie #Jade #Robbie
I'm in major trouble here.
No, you're not! 'Cause I'm gonna jump the tuna.
[grateful] Yes.
You promised me you wouldn't.
Oh, what do you care? You can't like me very much if you're gonna flirt with my ex-boyfriend right in front of my face.
W-well you flirted with Robbie right in front of my face.
Oh, you mean like this? Mmm… that was some tasty Robbie.
Y'know what? Jump your stupid motorcycle over the tuna fish.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. That sounds dangerous.
It is… and I don't care what happens to you.
I thought you guys were fighting.
Why would we be fighting?
Well, you're both anti-social misfits, filled with anger and rage.
JJade
Wait. Is that why you haven't invited me over ever since you moved in?
And why you never wanted me to meet her?
Yeah.
JJade
What'd you think would happen?
Murder.
JJade
Do you wanna murder me?
No, I'm good.
NNona
Who are those boys in the water?
JJade
It's Frobbie! Somebody save Frobbie!
Please don't call us that!
RRobbie
If you love Sam, why have you been going around Los Angeles fadoodling with Cat?
I have not been "fadoodling" with Cat.
[Raises hands] You could've if you wanted to!
S1 E24#YayDay
Ah, all right. I'll buy everyone a present for Yay Day.
Me too?
Swear no snooping?
Yes. Cross my bra.
S1 E25#BrainCrush
Do we have a hammer?
No.
[begins banging head into the door]
Sam, don't do that! Use this.
I asked you if we had one of those!
You asked me if we had a hammer.
Well, what do you call that?
A nail banger!
S1 E26#BlueDogSoda
What are you two, a couple of dummies? Blue Dog Soda has been banned in California!
Banned?!
Whaaaaaat?!
Why?
'Cause there's too much sugar in it and thanks to me, the State Bureau of Interference has passed a law: It is now illegal to sell or to drink Blue Dog Soda.
That's insane!
That's our favorite beverage.
Too bad! Did you know that some people drink 10-12 bottles of this junk per day?
Well, we don't!
Yeah, but we drink, like, 1 or 2 a week!
Yeah, well, some people drink too much of it.
So? Just 'cause some people drink too much of it, now nobody can have any?
That's right! Because the public is too stupid to be trusted with things that they enjoy!
CWChinese Woman
Wǒ bù xǐhuān nǐ shuōhuà de fāngshì! Wánquán bù hélǐ! ("I don't like the way you talk! It's completely unreasonable!")
Shut up!
WHWorker Holding Box of Blue Dog
I'll take it myself.
AWAnother Worker
Hey, watch out!
(Worker holding box of Blue Dog falls and spills all the Blue Dog)
[shrieks]
So, you girls babysit?
Yeah.
Why, you gonna ban us from babysitting now, too?
Nah. I have a kid, and I don't like him. So, maybe I'll dump him on you two for a while.
Pretty soon, we're gonna have all the Blue Dog Soda we want.
How?
Harh.
I'm makin' it. I went online and did a ton of research, and pretty soon, I'm gonna have the exact formula.
We're making Blue Dog Soda as a protest. This is about doing what's right!
What do you mean?
Well, it's wrong that there are people out there who want to butt into everybody's business and tell us what we can and can't have!
Exactly.
Okay. So, then, what's the plan here?
We make enough Blue Dog Soda for ourselves and to sell to anyone who wants some.
[opens the door] It was Cat.
SAM!!!
Look, are you two babysitters or not?
Listen, buddy, unless you got a warrant, you can't just come in here and b—babysitters?
Yeah. Remember the flier? It said you two babysit.
We do.
Good. [to Mitch] Mitch, get in here! [to Sam and Cat] This is my boy, Mitch. And I thought that maybe you two could babysit him for a few hours.
Oh, so you came here just 'cause you want us to babysit your kid?
Yeah. And he's not much trouble. He just likes—what d'you like?
MMitch
Television, football, cheese.
That sort of stuff.
MMitch
Why can't I just stay with you?
Well, because Daddy has to go find some bad people and put them in jail.
What bad people?
Somebody has been making illegal Blue Dog Soda and selling it.
No, those "jerks."
Yeah, "jerks."
We don't know who it is, yet, but some genius copied the formula.
Cat (to Sam): Genius.
We're gonna find 'em, we're gonna bust 'em, and we're gonna shut 'em down.
Okay.
You do that.
MMitch
How come?
'Cause sugar is bad.
Okay, so, you, uh, gonna shut down the people who make grape juice? 'Cause grape juice has a lot more sugar in it than soda has.
Uh, n-no it doesn't.
Yeah, it does.
Grape juice has lots more sugar than soda.
So, you gonna ban grape juice?
L-look, I am not interested in facts! So, anyway, I'll be back to pick up the kid later.
MMitch
I love you, Daddy.
Don't embarrass me.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sam & Cat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.