[Whenever he gets injured]
Predicament!
All S1
S1 E14#OscarTheOuch
LMrs. Lurkin
Come on, Oscar. I'm taking you away from these irresponsible girls.
No.
LMrs. Lurkin
What?
First, you apologize to Sam and Cat.
LMrs. Lurkin
Apologize? For what?
For shouting at them after they gave me the best day of my life. Yeah, I got hurt, real bad, but for the first time of my life, I actually had fun.
We had fun with you too, Oscar.
Kinda.
LMrs. Lurkin
Oscar, what is your point?
That living life trying new things is worth getting a little hurt sometimes.
Yeah, haven't you heard the 47 songs about what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?
S1 E15#DollSitting
I don't want to babysit.
We're getting paid double.
I like this plan.
Is there a spell in there that can turn my mom into a woman with a job?
S1 E16#PeezyB
Peezy B (to Sam): Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What's your name, Goldilocks?
Puckett.
PBPeezy B
Well, guess what, Puckett?
What?
PBPeezy B
You got swag and you got spunk. You got that swaggy spunk!
S1 E17#SalmonCat
Narrator (on Dice's laptop screen): Heeeeeeeeyyyy kkkkkiiiiiddddssss. It's time for the wet and wacky world of Salmon Cat. Today's episode is about SSSSSHHHHHAAAAAARRRIIIINNNNNNGGGG.
[watching Salmon Cat on the screen] Ugh. This is TTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRREEEEEEEE.
[watching Salmon Cat on the screen] Shh! I like it!
Salmon Cat (on Dice's laptop screen): Meow meow meow meow meow. I've got a whole bag of candy!
Octo Piggy (on Dice's laptop screen): Oink, oink, oink! Hi there, Salmon Cat!
Salmon Cat (on Dice's laptop screen): Hi there, Octo Piggy!
Octo Piggy (on Dice's laptop screen): Can I have some candy?
Salmon Cat (on Dice's laptop screen): Noooooooooo.
Octo Piggy (on Dice's laptop screen): But I was hoping you would SSSSSHHHHHHAAAAAARRRREEEE some of your candy with me!
[sick of the show] Okay. I can't watch any more of this trash.
S1 E18#Twinfection
Well, what movie did you see?
"Blood Monkeys: Chimpley Strikes Back."
[gasps] That's rated R!
So?
RRandy
[angrily] That movie messed me up, man!
Well, I am really smart.
[spits out her drink and laughs] Say that again!
I said, "I am really smart".
[spits out her drink and laughs again]
MMelanie
Now, why did I have to come here?
'Cause I need to mess with my roommate's head.
MMelanie
Okay...so I'm supposed to be you. [points at Sam]
No! You're gonna be evil, insane, wild, and dangerous.
MMelanie
So...you.
Me...times a hundred.
MMelanie
Wait, you mean the "twinfection" thing?
Uh-huh.
MMelanie
Oh, Sam, you know no one's dumb enough to fall for that.
[laughs] Let me tell you a little about my roommate. [smiles]
I tricked Cat, I tricked Cat, I'm so cool 'cause I tricked Cat! [Myron and Byron jump up and start dancing] I tricked Cat with my twin sister!
What are-
Her name is Melanie and she's dancing too!
What are they doing here?
I don't know!
S1 E19#MyPoober
(to Ellie) Let's make a deal. How about we buy you any two desserts you want and you throw Poober in the toilet?
Hey, Cat?
Hey.
How did Ellie know that our money was in the pineapple?
[nervously changes the subject] Umm....oh, Spanish Talk Radio! I wonder what they're saying, I'll turn it up. Oh.
[turns off the radio]
I know I shouldn't have told Ellie about the pineapple, but it seemed like a good move at the time.
Dang it, Cat!
S1 E20#MadAboutShoe
DDoctor
Nurse, what is your name?
Sally Meatballs. [Jumps out window]
SStacey
I'm suspicious.
S1 E21#MagicATM
Officer. Officer. Could you turn on the radio?
KOfficer Kelvin
Yeah, sure. Hey, and maybe later, we'll go get some pizza and go to the mall and meet some boys.
I think he's being sarcastic.
[sarcastic] No!
Sam?
What?
Could you please pull over so I could put on my seat belt?
No!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Sam & Cat pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.