Sam Puckett quotes from Sam & Cat

Sam

If she gets stuck in the toilet again, would you please text me a pic of that?

Sam

  C'mon, elderlies love living with other elderlies!  They eat dinner at four o'clock and talk about pills.

Sam

  You got another robe I could wear?  You know, one that doesn't make me look like a vomiting rainbow.

Sam

  How much Bieber did you sniff?!

Sam

  And why is there a battery in my burrito?

Sam

Don't tickle me.

Sam

Take your fingers out of my ears.

Sam

This is gonna be a long ride.

Sam

  Try to escape, eh?  Well, now you go in the hole, see?  [eats the bone rib]

Sam

  Okay, Math.  Let's see.  [looks at the t.v.]  Channel two plus channel five equals channel seven.

Sam

  Hey!  This is America—you speak either English or Spanish!

Sam

Is there a spell in there that can turn my mom into a woman with a job?

Sam

[walks in the apartment and sees Cat pedaling her bike which is hanging from the ceiling] Whoa! Not the weirdest thing I've ever walked in on here.

Sam

I don't have anywhere I really need to be, and you kinda seem like you need a roommate.

Cat

Are you saying what I think you're saying?!

Sam

Yeah.

Cat

Your gonna stay here with me in L.A. for a while and help me find a roommate?!

Sam

I already found you a roommate!

Cat

[throws her money on the couch] Shut up, who is she?!

Sam

Me!

Cat

Oh my god! [runs and hugs Sam] This is the best day ever! So much better than yesterday when we were in garbage.

Sam

Isn't it?

Hey! Aren't you Sam from iCarly?

Sam

Are you a cop?

No.

Sam

Then Yeah, I'm Sam.

Dice

  You look like Sam from that web show iCarly.

Sam

  Nah, that chick is way hotter than me.

Cat

  (giggles) She is Sam!

Dice

  Woah, you're awesome!

Sam

  Yeah.

Sam

  Uh, what are you doing?

Cat

  I'm gonna sleep next to you so you don't get scared.

Sam

  I'm not gonna get scare— Oh, whatever.

Cat

  So, how long you going to be in L.A.?

Sam

  Uh… I don't know.

Cat

  Well, don't you want to get back to Seattle?

Sam

  Eh, I'm in no rush. I mean, my best friend moved to Italy with her dad, and my mom is kind of a nut job.