Cat Valentine quotes from Sam & Cat

  [inside a sack getting pushed through the front door in a trolley by some young kids]  Aah!

Cat

  Nona!

Sam

  Nice sack.

Dice

  And guess what I got today?

Cat

  Ooh, is it something?

Dice

  I got hair from Will Smith, Katy Perry.  I got Ryan Seacrest, Justin Bieber—

Cat

  How much for the Bieber?!

Dice

  Thirty dollars.

Cat

  I'll take it!

Sam

  Hey!  Don't pick up that trash can!  There's a girl in there!

Cat

  Oh, my god!  [gets tipped out of the trash can into a garbage truck]

Cat

  Hi!  What's wrong?

  We can't find our cat.

Cat

  Shut up, my name is Cat!

  Can you help us find our cat?

Sam

  Let's see.  You have red hair and I'm blonde, so I get 130 and you get no-hundred and 20.  [gives Cat $20]

Cat

  Ooo, thank you!

Cat

  We have to give him C-3PO!

Sam

  CPR?

Cat

  Okay, we'll try that first!

Cat

  Is it okay if she stays here with us tonight?

  Hmm…sure. I assume you don't have a prison record.  [laughs with Cat]

Sam

  Yeah…you assume that.

Cat

  Who's gonna make me soup?

  You can learn.

Cat

  I can?

  Sure, you just open the can, pour it into a bowl, and put it in the microwave.

Cat

  Wait, slow down…

Cat

  You left the baby in the bush!?

Sam

  I'm getting the baby!

Sam

How was school?

Cat

Learn-y.

Cat

Oh, my gosh, that was so much fun!

Sam

Not so much for this guy. [picks up a dead rat and throws it away]

Sam

Hey! Quit sniffing the Biebs.

Cat

I can't help it! He smells so talented!

Cat

  Our first real customer!  Now we're professional babysitters!  Shh!  Just be cool, he doesn't have to know we're new at this.

Sam

  He's three feet away.

Cat

 Woop woop woop!  Shh!  Be cool!

Sam

  I'll try to control myself.