Zelda Spellman quotes from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Salem

[referring to Mr. Tobias] Let's destroy everything that's dear to him. Let's indoctrinate him into the cathedral of agony.

Zelda

I'm going to write him a very stern letter.

Salem

[sarcastic] You're a regular Mad Max, aren't you?

Salem

TAKE THAT TOBIAS[SMASH]!...ooooooo stain glass windows...expensive..

Zelda

Mother's maiden name?

Sabrina

Becker.

Hilda

Favorite dessert that doesn't involve chocolate?

Sabrina

There isn't one. How long is this going to go on?

Zelda

Until we make absolutely sure you're the real Sabrina.

Hilda

Say "Woo hoo".

Sabrina

Woo hoo.

Salem

Imposter! J'accuse!

Sabrina

Back off furball, or I'm gonna tell Aunt Zelda about the time I caught you in her lingerie drawer trying on her lacy red...

Salem

It's Sabrina!

Zelda

Did you just say that I’m... fired?

When the committee reviewed your qualifications for "Professor of the Year", your file stated that you had three advanced degrees from Harvard?

Zelda

Oh, I do!

Well, we called Harvard to verify; they said the last "Zelda Spellman" who attended there graduated in 1873.

Zelda

[to herself] Has it really been that long?