Sabrina Spellman quotes from Sabrina, the Teenage Witch

Zelda

Mother's maiden name?

Sabrina

Becker.

Hilda

Favorite dessert that doesn't involve chocolate?

Sabrina

There isn't one. How long is this going to go on?

Zelda

Until we make absolutely sure you're the real Sabrina.

Hilda

Say "Woo hoo".

Sabrina

Woo hoo.

Salem

Imposter! J'accuse!

Sabrina

Back off furball, or I'm gonna tell Aunt Zelda about the time I caught you in her lingerie drawer trying on her lacy red...

Salem

It's Sabrina!

Hilda

Sabrina, I do not want a birthday party, I do not want one on the beach, I do not want one with a sneach, I do not want one up in space, I do not want one any place!

Sabrina

A party in Whoville?

Roxie

Miles, tell her that Valentines day is nothing more than a bogus holiday engineered by the greeting card industry.

In cahoots with the flower companies and candy manufacterers. I have a hunch the Trilateral Commision is also involved.

Sabrina

That's so cute, I never realized how much you two have in common.

Well, it looks like my posse has just bailed on me... Say, do you buffalo gals wanna come out tonight?

Sabrina

Er, I’m sorry, are you inviting us to a saloon?

No. I’ve got this condo for the holidays, and Cole and James just bailed on me. I don’t suppose you ladies would be interested in a little winter getaway? Condo’s got a hot-tub.

Sabrina

[to the others] That could be fun!

Morgan

Excuse me, Sabrina, the last thing that we want to do is go freeze our butts off on some mountain.

Mountain? No, no, the condo’s in Miami.

Sabrina

Miami?

Roxie

Florida?

Morgan

America?

Eighty degrees and sunny.

[singing] Going to Miami!

Sabrina

[to Morgan] Okay, you go and distract Roxie.

Morgan

Okay. [beat] How?

Sabrina

Haven't you ever distracted anyone before?

Morgan

Well, yeah, but I don't think Roxie's gonna fall for the "Ooops, my strap broke" trick!

Sabrina

...It's worth a shot. [pushes her towards Roxie]

That’s it? Nobody has a story idea?

Annie, it’s been kind of a slow week. I mean, no rappers got arrested, no movie stars were hospitalised for “exhaustion”...

Come on! A new trend, a new band, there must be a story we haven’t done?

Sabrina

Okay, last night on National Superstars- [notices James and Cole sneering] ...Which I only watched because my roommates made me... They announced they’re gonna do their next show in Boston. I mean, maybe we could do a story on that?

That show is so lame.

Seriously, I cannot believe people watch that junk.

There’s no way Clay should have won, okay? Tania was so much better!

Tania was hot! Rosie O’Donnell hot!

Okay, you all gotta get a life. [to Cole] Clay rocks.

[to Aaron, about Sabrina] I like her. I like her a lot. Even more than Brenda.

Sabrina

Thank you. [to Aaron] Who’s Brenda?

Aaron

Oh, no one. No one important.

[pointedly] His last fiancé.

Harmony, Harmony, Gosh we're feeling' swell....

Sabrina

I guess the musical notes on the label should have tipped me off. Well, at least we're not arguing anymore...

Harmony, Harmony, Gosh we're feeling' swell!

Imagine my delight

Aaron

It steams me seeing Harvey standing next to you.

Sabrina

Oh yeah? [takes a bite of crab cake with Harmony salt and sings] I love the ring, but, hey

Morgan

Harmony, harmony, can't conceal the bile.

Roxie

[dances with Bob] Your power plants and toxic dumps are perilous.

Your room-mate's confrontational and querulous.

Sabrina

Perhaps it would be best

There's nothing like a good old-fashioned melody

[goes down on one knee with arms out] In case you didn't hear it;

Knock-down drag-out harmony!

Sabrina

So, you're my prince...

Aaron

[not understanding] Not a prince, just a man who wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Sabrina

Harvey?

Harvey

I'm not really sure what this [Soul-stone] is, but something told me I would find the answer here.