Betty quotes from Rugrats

Oh, Betty, that was Mr. Fluffles, Tommy's favorite lamp. [Tommy cries] There, there sweetie.

[Tommy crying continues]

What happened? I was taking my nap and I heard a loud sound.

Oh, honey, one of the babies broke the lamp Uncle Stu made for Tommy.

Awww, Mr. Fluffle-luffles?

I'm afraid so, honey.

Betty

You know, I saw a lamp just like that one at Baby World last week; let's call 'em and see if they still got any.

Great idea, Betty.

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[Mighty Roaring] LOOK AT YOU! DON'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE?! While you were insulting each other and bringing up every petty difference from your past, you've forgotten about your children, the most important thing in your insignificant lives! [Roaring] YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED!

HHoward

Charles is right. Our behavior's been absolutely disgusting. I'm a failure and I've let everybody down while I should be—

Betty

[panic] Yeah, yeah. Whine later, ya' little man. We gotta find the kids!

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Time to say, bye-bye, sweetie. [Tommy starts bawling] Oh, what's that matter sweetie.

Of course, it's me, you babies! There's going to be trouble! That does it!

Tommy

But, Angelica, I don't have to...

[she slapped his mouth] Quiet, Tommy. My daddy says that your show is the biggest gravy-train in town.

PPaul

I beg your parden?

Gosh. After Happy Bear almost got caught by the Taxidermist, I couldn't sleep for days.

PPaul

Mr. Finster, have you Talked to a psychiatrist about this?

He didn't understand.

PPaul

[yelling] What's wrong with you people?! Don't you have any real lives outside of this mindless cartoon!?!

Betty

[dumbfounded] Well, really? We just thought you liked to hear from a few of your fans.

PPaul

Well, I don't!

[confused] How can the creator of Happy Bear be so cruel?

PPaul

[furious] Randy!

RRandy

Wait a minute, Paul. I can explain everything. [After Randy notices his neighbors at his house unexpectedly]

Now if this doesn't work, I quit!

[Angelica picked up the mushed food and threw it at Paul, causing his toupee to fall off into the soup.]

RRandy

Oh, I'm sorry, Paul, let me get that for you.

[Paul shunned Randy from picking up his toupee as Paul picked it up and placed the damp toupee on his head. He then picked up mushed food and threw it at Drew.]

Hey!

[Paul laughed as a playful food fight began.]

PPaul

Randy, I do not know how you did it but these guys really crack me up! You're a Comedy Genius!

[During the food fight, with food splattered on the archway above the babies' heads.]

Chuckie

Eww! Now what are they doing?

Tommy

I don't know, but it looks like they're having fun.

SSusie

Fun?! Oh NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [starts to cry, the camera zooms into her mouth and swerves behind her uvula showing the shot from the inside as Paul wandered up]

PPaul

Aww, what's the matter, Susie?

SSusie

Now, we're gonna have to move because my daddy's gonna get a new house!

PPaul

Move?! Randy, you jokester. I'd never allow it. With all these wild characters in the neighborhood. It's a writer's gold mine! In fact, how would you kids and your parents like to come down and see the Dummi Bears Studio tour?

Aww, do we have to... [Drew muffles Angelica]

We'd love to, Paul.

[Randy splatters green gelatin all over himself. The next scene you see Randy guiding Paul to the car.]

RRandy

Paul, I'm so glad you came. We'll have to have you back again.

[Stu jumps out of a nearby bush.]

RRandy

Yeah, well, I'll see you at the office, huh?

[Randy chuckled as he and Paul continued on their way. Stu dreamily fell into Drew's arms.]

Stu

Wow. He looked right at me. That man has changed by life! Man, we didn't need words.

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Betty

[finds Phil and Lil naked and runs towards them] Great Evonne Goolagong! What's going on here?! Philly, Lilly, you're nudists!

Betty! I'm surprised at you. I mean, they're just babies. Lipschitz says--

Betty

[picks up Phil and Lil's clothes] Don't start with that hippie Lipschitz, Deed! I don't know what kind of baby commune you're trying to run here, but it's time to face facts! The sixties are over and we've lost, so get with the program, all right?!

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[after the man in the Reptar suit hugs Chuckie] You know, Betty, I guess this is a kinder, gentler Reptar.

Betty

Goodbye video sales!

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Betty

[sighs] When we take the pups to the amusement park tomorrow night, let's dress them up as monsters! That way, they'll feel more scary than anything they see!

You mean, empower them by tapping into their inner monster?

Kira

Oh, I think it's a wonderful idea! Kimi can be a witch, and Chuckie can be, um... uh... a werewolf!

Chas

A werewolf? I don't know.

Stu

Come on, Chas. Frightening people is what Halloween is all about!

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Betty

Here's where it happened. Now cordon off the scene and sniff out the perp!

CConductor

All I do is punch the tickets. I'll call ahead for the detectives; they'll meet us in the morning at our first stop.

Chas

[with his newspaper] In the morning? But before the morning, there's... [dramatically] the night!

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[The train departs the station, and we see the main adults inside the lounge car with the two detectives and Dwayne serving coffee]

1Detective 1

[with a notepad] I need you to report any suspicious activities you might have witnessed.

LLou

[softly to the detective] Uh, between you and me, I never liked the looks of that guy. [gestures to Dwayne]

DDwayne

Anyone want coffee?

Betty

[holding a cup] All right, Dwaynie! Java me up!

[Dwayne pours coffee into Betty's cup]

Minka

And I wanted so much for this to be our second honeymoon. [she looks at Boris sleeping and frowns, but when she turns her head Boris smiles]

Kira

[looking at the route map] We should be near Cough Drop Pass.

[reading from the guide booklet] Where years of natural erosion have formed the stone replica of soothing lozenge.

[Didi and Kira start to look out the window, but Detective 1 walks up to them]

1Detective 1

I have a couple of questions; standard procedure, if you'll come this way.

[Didi and Kira look at each other and then get up, just missing the Cough Drop Pass as the train passes by it. Drew and Stu are standing around looking bored]

Yeah, OK, there's a thief. [gets an idea] Wanna sneak out and have some fun?

[Drew whispers in Stu's ear, and Stu grins and they high-five. The train continues chugging on as the engine's whistle blows, and in their compartment, the babies watch as Grandpa Lou enters]

LLou

OK, sprouts. I'll be taking the next watch to keep you out of trouble.

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[The episode starts with a leaf falling down to the picnic table. Betty walks up to the table. Camera pans right to Chaz, who is making the salad. The wind blows it away]