Jerry Lawler quotes from Royal Rumble

Mickie James is obsessed with Trish. She's her #1 fan, she's obsessed with Trish, and time and time again she's attacked Ashley just because...well, for no reason, quite frankly. Just because when anyone gets near Trish, Mickie James goes crazy.

Well, who wouldn't go crazy when you get near Trish?

Oh, you know what I mean.

I would love to be that striped shirt that Trish is wearing. Can you imagine being that close to Trish?

And this is a damn shame that Triple H had to end Rey Mysterio's hopes this way.

Well, this just shows you how...

Orton parading around with Mysterio. [Mysterio grasps the top rope] And Rey! Rey hanging on to the top rope!

Rey hanging on for dear life here. [Suddenly Rey turns around, puts his legs between Orton's head...] Whoa, whoa!

And Mysterio! [...and does a hurricanrana, throwing Orton out and winning the Rumble] HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE DID IT!

No way!

REY MYSTERIO DID IT!

Here is your winner: Rey Mysterio!

REY MYSTERIO IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Latino Heat is alive and well! Look at this!

Rey Mysterio dedicated this match-up to Eddie Guerrero, he went for over an hour with the Eddie Guerrero logo on his wrestling tights, and Rey Mysterio has won the 2006 Royal Rumble match!

Well, without a doubt the biggest win in Rey Mysterio's career, but it could lead to an even bigger win at WrestleMania.

Was that a scream of joy from Melina?

I haven't made a lot of women scream, so I can't tell you.

The hard thing about the Rumble—and you know this, King—is you're out there, you're tired, you're trying to eliminate people, and all of the sudden, someone fresh comes out there and comes after you.

You guys know all about, being well, in Rumbles for a long time. JBL, you lasted 40 minutes in one Rumble; King, you lasted over 36 minutes in another.

Yeah, but I hid for 30 minutes under the ring.

Well, you stole the punchline from JBL.

[King Booker eliminates Kane, even though Kane already eliminated him] It's legal to bring a Singapore cane in there, it's legal to bring a chair in there, it's legal to come back in and you can do it!

So...so, does that mean Kane's eliminated?

Kane is eliminated, he's over the top rope, Kane is out!

This is ridiculous!

It's not ridiculous, it's fact, Michael! It is what it is!

Uh-oh!

Here comes Visagra.

But I don't think he's bringing any love to the Royal Rumble.

Booker and Kane are still going at it here at ringside! Booker incensed that the Big Red Machine eliminated him...

How the hell could he not be incensed? He should have never had to been in the Royal Rumble anyway!

Oh, come on, John, call the damn match!

Takes a cheap shot at him and throws him out!

That's part of the match and you know it!

He should've had...he should not have had to been in the Royal Rumble, Michael! I'm begging you to be unbiased!

Is there anybody in there capable of lifting Viscera over the top rope?

Like I said before, seven men it took in Viscera's debut.

I don't know how many men Viscera's gonna eat.

JBL, did Michael Cole just compare Rob Van Dam to Gumby?

I said he was Gumby-like.

Disgusting. I deal with this every week.

CM Punk is a popular young star. He's got a huge future ahead of him, whether he wins this Royal Rumble or not.

Needs to start drinking though.

Here comes Miz, at #29.

Miz?!

Don't worry, King, I hate him too.

And Miz... [The Great Khali picks Miz up and tosses him out of the ring, eliminating him] Well, he may have set a record.

The Warlord had the record at three seconds—did Miz just beat it?

[The Great Khali has eliminated seven men, and four lie in the ring] The power, the strength, who can stop the Great Khali?!

Absolutely nobody.

[as the buzzer sounds for entry #30] I'd have second thoughts about coming out...

Here we go!

Maybe there is someone! Maybe there is someone! The legendary Phenom, the Undertaker!

But nobody has come in at #30 and won the Royal Rumble ever.

It's never happened, but Undertaker has faced, he has battled, he has taken out Khali before.

The roof is about to blow off this place!

It doesn't get any better than this!

Throw some gasoline on the fire! My God, I love it!

Who would believe that the 20th Royal Rumble, the most star-studded, is quite frankly the best of them all?!

JBL, right now, who do you think? Who's got the most gas left in the tank?

[as Shawn prepares to superkick the Undertaker] This is how Shawn Michaels eliminated Diesel! Here we go!

Shawn Michaels eliminated Edge like that! [Undertaker catches him] Went for Sweet Chin Music! Got caught! [Undertaker picks him up, and throws him out, winning the Rumble] And Undertaker has eliminated Shawn Michaels! Undertaker is going to WrestleMania!

Oh my gosh!

Here is your winner of the 2007 Royal Rumble: The Undertaker!

For the first time in his illustrious career, the Undertaker has won the Royal Rumble match!

Going to WrestleMania, the main event. The Undertaker, 14-0 in WrestleMania!

What?!

Wait a minute! What the hell?!

What is this?!

IT'S JOHN CENA! JOHN CENA!

Oh my gosh!

#30!

This is unbelievable!

You gotta be kiddin' me!

Oh, my God!

Triple H's expression told the entire story!

The roof is exploding off of Madison Square Garden! John Cena, the 30th entrant in the Royal Rumble match! And, yes, indeed, business just picked up!

All the action has stopped in the ring! You've got to be kidding me!

John Cena just told Triple H, "It's go time!"

These men, somehow, someway, are able to stand, and it's the Game who rises first. [Triple H hoists John Cena on his shoulders and attempts to throw him out, but Cena holds on to the bottom rope] Cena! Cena now in a precarious position! Cena holding on to the top rope, but the Game, so strong, so powerful, with the heart and the soul to headline WrestleMania! [Cena gets off Triple H's shoulders and attempts to FU him] And Cena counters!

Whoa! WHOA!

But not for long, Cena countered! [Triple H attempts the Pedigree, but Cena counters and hoists Triple H on his shoulders] The counter... OH, A SHOW OF STRENGTH! [Cena FU's Triple H over the top rope, winning the Rumble]

WHOA!

CENA WITH A FU, AND CENA DOES IT!

WHOA-OH-OH!

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2008 Royal Rumble winner is JOHN CENA!

When we started this historic night, the last man I thought that would headline WrestleMania would be John Cena because I didn't think John Cena was physically able to return to combat in the WWE! And, my, my, how wrong I was!

Not only did John Cena return, he has prevailed! Unbelievable!

Which one's it gonna be? Big Shad or JTG?

[as JTG pulls out a coin] There can only be one, they're gonna flip a coin. [JTG flips it, wins the toss, and goes to the ring] Is that a coin?

What did you think it was, a tooth?

No telling. Could be a license plate this guys made. [Shad picks up the coin and can't help but smile when he sees that...] It's a double-sided coin!

JTG wins the toss and has elected to offend.

It was a two-headed coin!