Jerry Lawler quotes from Royal Rumble

[Kane converges on Grandmaster Sexay with the trash can] Ooh my god, Kane's now got a trash can.

LOOK OUT!

[Kane hits Sexay with the trash can so hard he goes flying over the top rope] Oh, Grandmaster, [Kane hits Steve Blackman] has been knocked over the top by Kane! [Kane then hits Perry Saturn, then Al Snow with the trash can.]] The Big Red Machine... [Kane next hits Raven] ...has gone CRAZY here!

He's on a rampage now!

[after Bradshaw attacks Val Venis, saving the Rock from elimination] Bradshaw should've helped Val, in my estimation.

Nah, nobody wants to help Val or any member of the Right to Censor.

Yeah, you make a good point.

How much left can these two men have in their bodies? Austin's got the steel chair!

Look at Kane! He's a monster! He's already up!

My God, Kane is up! Oh God, Kane is up!

Austin, you're not a monster!

[Austin strikes Kane in the head with the steel chair] What a shot!

ACK! He didn't even knock him off his feet.

[Austin strikes Kane again] GOD ALMIGHTY!

WHOA!

[Austin strikes Kane again] A shot to the skull! Austin's going to dump him!

NO! OH!

KANE IS OUT! STONE COLD! STONE COLD!

Here is your winner: Stone Cold Steve Austin!

[over announcement] I knew he could do it!

STONE COLD IS GOING TO WRESTLEMANIA!

I knew the Rattlesnake could win this thing! Unbelievable!

THE BATTERED AND BLOODY RATTLESNAKE HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY BACK - HAS FOUGHT HIS WAY THROUGH HELL ITSELF TO GO TO WRESTLEMANIA!

Fans chanting, "we want Head," at Al Snow. Al Snow and his former mannequin head.

I'll get in on that chant, but not at Al Snow.

Would you behave?

[The Undertaker stands alone in the ring, having thrown out four men] You don't need RE/MAX or Century 21 to tell you whose yard this belongs to, and I don't think it's for sale.

You know what, JR? There's only one thing I wouldn't wanna be.

What's that, King?

Next.

Matt Hardy could certainly use some help out here, couldn't he?

Yeah, he ain't likely to get it. It's every man for himself. [Time expires. Entry #10 is Jeff Hardy] But maybe so, King!

What?!

Here comes Jeff Hardy!

Now wait a minute.

Undertaker about to suplex Matt to the outside, Jeff Hardy blocked that, and now both the Hardys...

I got a question—who picked these numbers?

They were drawn randomly. The numbers are drawn randomly [Lita jumps into the ring and joins the Undertaker beatdown] The Hardys and Lita getting some retribution for their near-career-ending injuries!

[as Lita is pulled out] They let her out there and she doesn't have a number?

[off the Hardys embrace] Look at the reunion of the Hardys! They're back on the same page! Lita's on the same page!

No, Lita's off the page!

And Maven- [he dropkicks the Undertaker, who is being distracted by the Hardy Boyz who he has just eliminated, in the back. The momentum carries the Undertaker over the top rope and eliminates him] OH MY GOD! MY GOD! MAVEN FROM TOUGH ENOUGH JUST ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!!!

WHAT?! WHAT?!

MY GOD, MY GOD, I DON'T BELIEVE IT! Now that is... that is the biggest shocker I've ever seen at the Royal Rumble!

WHAT?!

You heard me right!

Let me do it again. WHAT?!

Maven just eliminated the Undertaker, and Maven cannot believe it!

Maven...

Not to say what the Undertaker must be thinking right now.

[after an eliminated Austin nails Kurt Angle, Mr. Perfect, and Triple H with a chair] Austin may have been eliminated, King, but he's made his mark indelibly on the head of his three adversaries!

He is the meanest, maddest snake you'll ever lay eyes on! You don't trust anybody, especially that snake right there!

The Bionic Redneck is pissed, you can count on that!

Angle in trouble! Angle in trouble!

No, Kurt! NO! [Triple H clotheslines Angle out of the ring, winning the Rumble]

IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! THE GAME! THE GAME!

Your winner of the Royal Rumble match: Triple H!

He went through eight months of hell just to make it back, but many said he'd never make it! And now Triple H is going to WrestleMania! Triple H is going to meet the Undisputed WWF Champion at WrestleMania!

[after Chris Jericho nails Shawn Michaels with a chair] Jericho admitted he always admired and emulated Shawn Michaels, but you'd never know it from that vile chair shot!

I don't know if Jericho respects anybody or anything!

Poor HBK caught off guard right from the get-go with the help, of course, from Christian and that phony entrance there; Jericho shows up from behind, low blow... [Jericho tosses Michaels onto the floor, eliminating him] ...and ousts Shawn Michaels!

Shawn Michaels eliminated by Chris Jericho! Shawn Michaels, battered and bloody, a low blow, a chair shot, the distraction, all combined to eliminate Shawn Michaels. I tell you what, I would not have called that in a million years.

Yo, Yo, Yo!!! Thuganomics Style!

Oh, do you like the rap, JR?

Ninety seconds of...what the hell'd he say? Word to your mother.

Cena's an amazing young athletic prospect on SmackDown!. He's a future main event player, and you're in the main event at WrestleMania if you can win the Royal Rumble match. Cena's got his whole career ahead of him—a great young prospect, but he rapped for damn near ninety seconds.

So what's wrong with that? He's still in the Royal Rumble.

And Brock Lesnar...

HEY!

LESNAR! [Lesnar throws out Undertaker, winning the Rumble] And OH YES! BROCK LESNAR'S WON THE RUMBLE! BROCK LESNAR HAS ELIMINATED THE UNDERTAKER!

Here is the winner of the Royal Rumble match, Brock Lesnar!

Look at the Undertaker. Yeah, he got you. He got you, Undertaker.

Brock Lesnar is now in the main event at WrestleMania! The Road to WrestleMania has begun here at the Royal Rumble!

[Undertaker reenters the ring after Brock Lesnar's win] Wait a minute. What's gonna happen here?

This could be another explosion.

No, I think the Undertaker's saying...that's twice you got me. But next time you got a title, he wants a shot.

I think that's exactly what the Undertaker said: if you become the Champion again, give me my opportunity. And Brock Lesnar will give the Undertaker that opportunity.

Undertaker had delivered that chair shot on Batista, but he took his mind off Brock Lesnar, just for a split second.

This is gonna kill Paul Heyman.