[We start on a gradient aquamarine-blue background, where the Gullah Gullah Island logo rolls in]
AAnnouncer
And now, back to Gullah Gullah Island!
[We cut to Ron and Natalie's house, where everyone plays Leapfrog with. Two policemen, one blonde and the other with brown hair, arriving at the front door]
[jumps over Shaina and Binyah-Binyah] This sure is fun, Binyah-Binyah!
BBBinyah-Binyah
Binyah-Binyah! Have fun, too!
[The policemen knock on the door]
I'll get it. [opens the door to show the policemen]
CWCop with Brown Hair
Hello, sir. We've investigated a tip. A criminal might be in the area; he's robbed a bank and shot three policemen.
Oh, no! Well, there's nobody here but me, my wife, our three children, and our man-sized pet polliwog.
BBBinyah-Binyah
Binyah-Binyah!
CWCop with Brown Hair
Yeah-no, no, no, that's a man in a frog suit.
NNatalie
[incredulous] What?! No, he's just a giant polliwog we rescued.
CWCop with Brown Hair
Where did you find him?
VVanessa
Oh, behind an amphibious animal costume shop!
CWCop with Brown Hair
I'm gonna need him out of that frog suit by the count of three. [pulls out a pistol] One...
BBBinyah-Binyah
[raises both arms in the air as the Alstons stare in shock] Binyah-Binyah!
CWCop with Brown Hair
Two...
BBBinyah-Binyah
[scared, waving arms] Binyah-Binyah!
CWCop with Brown Hair
Three!
FFrogman
[screams and strips out of costume, making the Alstons cover their eyes from seeing his nude lesion-covered body] No! Don't shoot!
CWCop with Brown Hair
[still points pistol with other officer] Down on the ground, Frogman!
NNatalie
[disgusted] What's on his skin?!
FFrogman
Sores, you dumbass! From wearing that polliwog costume for four months straight! [is handcuffed by the blonde policeman and pulled out of the house] Binyah-Binyah! Binyah-Binyah!
[The brown-haired policeman clubs Frogman on the back of his head to knock him out, ending the sketch]
Kim Possible [Kim Lazers the window and opens it Lassos to go down] If I don't steal north korea's nuclear launch codes, it could mean world war III. [traps him in a cage] Ahh!
KJKim Jong-Un
[enters] Well, Well, Well, Have I caught the great Kim possible? Or am I just "kim-magining" things?
KPKim Possible
Kim Jong-Un, war is not the answer.
KJKim Jong-Un
How do you like my security system? I've made certain "kim-provements". [pushes a button and alligators attack Kim Possible]
B1Bionic-1
Family, after nearly killing you on a ski trip to the Himalayas, I saved our lives by giving each of you bionic implants. Let's use these cool, new powers as the Bionic Six!
[The children cheer]
M1Mother-1
Uh, hun, maybe we should be thankful we're alive and not...
R1Rock-1
You just got eighty-Bionic-Sixed!
S1Sports-1
[bat cracking] Dad, turns out hitting homers isn't a superpower-AAH! [gets riddled with bullets]
B1Bionic-1
Uh, his codename is Sports-1.
M1Mother-1
He was our son, and now he's dead! You asshole! We're getting a divorce.
K1Karate-1
WAA- [also gets riddled with bullets]
IIQ
You killed my brother! [crushes Rock-1]
IIQ
[crying] We never had any training... [crushes himself]
B1BIONIC-1
Only now do I see that bionics solve nothing...GUH! [gets riddled with bullets]
AAnnouncer
I AM OUT OF WORK!
[We see a boy that plays with a Bop It.]
[He presses the purple button.]
[He twists the yellow knob.]
[He pulls the blue handle.]
[He reaches under the button, replacing the handle with a rifle's butt stock and putting the handle and trigger next to the button.]
[He flips out the aiming scope above the button.]
[He extends the toy, replacing the knob with a rifle chamber, magazine, and loader, therefore completing the sniper rifle.]
[The boy empties the Bop It box to pour out four bullets, and loads one of them into the Bop It sniper rifle.]
[He cocks the sniper rifle so that it can shoot.]
BBoy
(reading from the instruction manual) "Your target is Senator Carlton McDougal; the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building will provide an unobstructed vantage point." ?
BIBop It
Memorize it! Burn it!
[The boy seems scared at this, and then we cut to him standing in an office and holding the Bop It rifle out of the window as he pants in fear.]
[We cut to the view of the aiming scope over McDougal, where he is giving a speech to the public.]
BIBop It
Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!
[The boy, shaking all over, puts his finger on the trigger.]
BBoy
I can't - I can't do it!
BBoy
I can't! I can't! I can't!
BIBop It
(louder than ever) Squeeze it!
[Not knowing what to do, he pulls the trigger and shoots McDougal in the head, killing him instantly, splattering his blood onto one of his bodyguards, shocking the bodyguards and his wife and greatly panicking the citizens. Another bodyguard dispatches security in his earpiece]
BBoy
Oh, Ahh! (close to tears) God, help me!
BIBop It
(now smoking) Beat it! Hoof it! Book it!
[The boy tries to run away, but two policemen come into the office, holding pistols.]
PPolice Officer
Who are you, and what are you doing?!
BBoy
(lying) Uh, I was playing with my toy--I-I-I want my mommy!
PPolice Officer
Why is your toy smoking?
[The boy tries to commit suicide by shooting himself through the mouth, but the cops grab him, hold him down, and handcuff him.]
PPolice Officer
Kid! Give me that Bop It, kid!
[He takes the Bop It sniper rifle, and then we cut the boy as the witness in a courtroom.]
JJudge
Is the mastermind behind the assassination in the courtroom today?
[We cut Bop It and its lawyer as the defendants with the jury behind them, the Bop It having gone back to normal.]
[The boy points to the Bop It, making the jury gasp, and then we cut to the Bop It in a jail cell with a prisoner that unzips his pants.]
BIBop It
(frustrated) Damn it!
[We end with static as always.]
VVeterinarian
Radcliffe, it's official. You have 50 pregnant females.
RRRoger Radcliffe
How is that possible?
ARAnita Radcliffe
Remember, darling, only 15 of our 101 Dalmatians were related. Clearly, the unrelated ones had sex!
VVeterinarian
Actually, siblings get it on all the time. Why, it wouldn't surprise me if Pongo and Perdita over there were having sex with their own children, uh, likely while the others watched.
RRRoger Radcliffe
Jesus! Can't believe I had to give up songwriting for a day job. Lousy Dalmatians eating me out of house and home! [Dogs barking] Aah!
CDCruella De Vil
These things breed like fruit flies. It's a population control issue.
RRRoger Radcliffe
[Sighs] We were wrong to think you were a bad person, Cruella.
CDCruella De Vil
[Laughs] Oh, there's no such thing as evil, you know? Everyone is the hero of their own story.
ARAnita Radcliffe
We really don't need a sociology lesson.
