Robot Chicken quotes

Guys, look what Andy's aunt got him from Gwyneth Paltrow's website. Say "hi" to Pinko!

[a block of wood with pieces of string attached to it] Hello.

What are you?

I am a Swedish creativity object, designed in conjunction with free space theory, which encourages cognitive freedom. [to Woody] For instance, your cowboy concept restricts imaginative thinking, whereas I am conceptually neutral. Andy chooses what I am, not the manufacturer.

I already hate this prick!

Hey, stop that! We're all friends here, Mr. Potato Head. Pinko, let me be the first to welcome you and shake your hand!

How CAN I shake your hand?

Uh, with your hand right there. [points to Pinko's string]

Who said that's a "hand"? Maybe I'm a magical train and that "hand" is a wheel? Maybe I'm a candy making machine, or a hotel for tiny clowns? My concept will come from Andy's brain, not yours.

Whoa! No need to get upset, man.

"Man"? How dare you! Maybe I'm a woman? Maybe I'm an asexual space creature? Andy should decide, and not be forced into your narrow, violent worldview.

Violent?! We are NOT violent toys!

Really?! What is that holster used for? Probably not organic fruit snacks. [to Buzz] And I bet that laser isn't meant for pointing to things in a classroom setting. [points to Rex] That is a Tyrannosaurus Rex - A.K.A. nature's perfect killer! [to Mr. Potato Head] And you're the most frightening toy of all!

What, because of my acerbic point of view?!

You keep body parts in your trunk. You know who else did that? Jeffrey Dahmer! And didn't you strap a bear to the grill of a truck to teach him a lesson? Who are you, the Mafia?!

Hey, shhh! Andy's coming!

I can't wait to begin growing creatively with Andy!

"I am Pinko. You decide what I am." [scoffs] Okay. You're trash!

Hey, can someone give me a hand?!

Who says these are hands? Ha ha ha ha! [high fives Woody, then screen cut to static]

Boots, tell them we mean them no harm.

Uh, eeh, eeh, eek, eek, ooh, oog, ooh.

Uh, what'd they say? Boots, you son of a bitch.

Daniel, meet King Friday's niece.

I'm Tina, and I'm years old.

Tina, if you're my age, why do you look like a grown-up woman lady?

I started developing when I was... Well, that's how old I am.

How come I don't have lady balloons?

Well, Daniel, Tina has something called... precocious puberty!

[Singing] Everybody's gonna grow. that's a fact that we all know. There's no shame in letting nature have its way. Hormones in us cause these surges. We get pubes, we get urges. And it's beautiful, no matter what they say. Most are changing 'round! That's the average and the mean... [Points to Tina] ...Unless you've got precocious puberty!

Okay but...

Could be hormones in our food

Could be nature being rude, No one knows what causes this calamity. Yes, Tina's got precocious puberty! Boys and girls as young as Growing breasts and shaggy floors!

Got it dude.

[Frightened] Am I gonna get p-p-precosis prububerty?

Well, it's very rare in tigers, son.

Wait! aren't tigers usually fully grown at Daniel's age?

Yes, that's true, but Daniel's got...

[singing] Dwarfism, dwarfism! [daniel sobs]

It's hard to find a great-tasting breakfast that won't raise my cholesterol.

Did somebody ask for a tasty breakfast?! Nothing beats the taste of oats and honey.

It's Great! [He bangs the table then buzz bee gets his Stinger stuck to the kid's arm]

WHAT THE [BLEEP]?!

AWWCH!

No! No! Oh, my God, NO! This can't be HAPPENING!

[Confused] It'll bee okay, bee. You'll be okay.

Yeah, yeah. I'll be okay. I'll just... [Groans; he Gets unstuck but his abdomen breaks he screams as ooze is coming out of his abdomen The kids see the blood of his abdomen then falls down] It's so cold. Oh, my heart ... I can feel it slowing down. Oh. Oh, it stopped. I'm ... I'm so scared.

Honey Nut Cheerios has oats that'll help lower cholesterol. part of this nutritious breakfast.

Welcome home, Daddy Pig.

Hello, Mummy Pig. Hello, Peppa. Hello, George. Bad news. [Snorts] I've been made redundants.

What's that mean, Daddy?

Well, Peppa, that's the pretentious way of saying, [snort] I got fired.

Oh, no, Daddy Pig. [Snorts] Why?

Because of this damn Brexit. My company has lost far too many [snort] pounds!

[Confused] Oh, it's too bad you haven't lost more pounds, Daddy. You've got a very big tummy.

[Laughs] Peppa! [Snorts] Your jokes at my expense are the only thing keeping me from jumping out of [snort] the window.

Hello, Peppa.

Malika Meerkat and Randall Rhino? What are you doing here?

We've come to say goodbye, Peppa. Since Brexit inflamed. anti-immigrant hated crimes, My Muslim family doesn't feel safe anymore.

And I'm getting deported back to Aleppo. They'll remove my woman hands, for they have touched a book.

[Voice breaking] D-Daddy! Why is that happening?

Because, Peppa, [snort] right-winged voters around the world are acting like...

[holding his Dinosaur] Dinosaur, Grrrr!

Not now, George. [Snorts] Like, I was saying, most politicians are afraid of progress, so they're stuck in the past like...

Dinosaur?

Not now, George. [Snort] Anyway, if we let these greedy pigs control our world, we'll all end up like...

Dinosaur!

Yes, George, we see you've got a dinosaur.

[Snorts] Well, since I can no longer bring home the bacon and ham, [chuckles] these will have to do it! [puts his ears on the grill]

Daddy Pig, did you just pull off your ears on the grill?

My Whaaat?! Oh, God!

Harold had dreamed of this moment a thousand times. Harold then drew himself a new father. This dad never yelled and had a three-year chip from AA. He was also good at lifting things. Harold and his new father sailed away to a bright new tomorrow. Harold's mother filed a missing-person report, but she never saw her son again. She hanged herself a year later. The rope was purple.

[singing] ♪ And I love you, cha cha cha ♪

Ahh, another successful day at Chuck E. Cheese, huh?

Ugh, we get it! You own the place.

Hey, Pasqually, did you see that kid puke up his pepperoni?

Pasqually? PASQUALLY!

I noticed him glitching, but I thought he was pranking us. He is the funny one.

We gotta help him! Pasqually! [The Animatronic band reach pasqually twice] Pasqually, we've done everything we can. [Pasqually went up in flames] Everybody, RUN! [All grunting; All screaming]

Hey, Rocky. I've got a friend request.

[reads the note] Hello, Moose. It is us, old American friends from your youth, Bingo and Muffy.

Haha, Oh, boy. Old friends. There's something suspicious.

about that account, Bullwinkle. Speaking of old American things, don't you miss good old days when flying squirrels weren't taking hardworking moose jobs? Hmm, I do generally remember things being better in the past. Don't you want to make... ooh... I mean, America great again? Those new Facebook friends are spreading pretty incendiary comments, Bullwinkle.

[offscreen] Shut your cockhole, snowflake!

Hello, Broseph!

Squirrel Lives Matter march against ignorant mooses set for tomorrow. Come join! Oh, boy. [leave his room]

Oh, boy, I will n...

Hey, Rocky! [points to Natasha] Watch me pull a squirrel out of her own asshole.

I'll [bleep]ing kill you, Bullwinkle!

[grunting] This is the worstest case of TMJ I've ever seen.

So, what went wrong, Peppa?

What went wrong? [frustrating] Every single [Bleep]in' thing!

♪ All right ♪

I'm a cartoon pig whose whole purpose in life is to make mistakes so kids learn from 'em. Mistake number one: splashing around in a puddle without first checking my surroundings. [Later, her friends are arguing over the monkey] You dickies soiled me monkey! - [Gasps] Oh! Get me a new one by tomorrow, or it's your loaf of bread, pig.

There, there, Peppa. [Bleats]

We're looking for our friends [a taxi bumps Sid's mom's car, Daphne opens the car door and the school gate and dances] And look what we...

[looks at her] Gee brother, she's like before

Me to Gerald, I'm starving.

Hi I'm Daphne Blake what's your name?

Sid, Sid The... [grabs his microphone then turns the loud button] Science Kiiiddd!

Now murder is a very safe way to do, murder is to kill someone or die, murder is a very nice walk to punish them. [Teacher Susie hands in files for Sid, May, Gabriella, Gerald and Daphne]

Let's eat the papers!

Oh No!

Mmm! That was a tasty meal!.

Come on mother[bleep]ers! Eat teacher susie up.

Whopee!

Off we go!

All right where are you Sid, Siiiiiiiiiidd!

[Walks to Sid's school finding the kids] Oh my god they've been there but where did they gone to what place?!.

Oh my god! Sid ran away to somewhere, have you seen Sid?

[draws sid's profile] I Don't know? He went to the carnival.

The carnival?! That is a really bad thing Policeman.

Me to Police Officer Luggins.

She's gone!. [Grunts] Jesus [Bleep]ing Christ!

Wow!, were in A south-west metro city, in A dancin' arena. [Sid and his friends dance when his supporting characters except Gabriela's mom, Sid's parents Daphne and Teacher Susie pop up and Introduce thereselves] Howser! Philbert Daphne and Zeke! you made it!.

Come dance with us, and our new student Daphne

Hello there.

[singing] Whoa Whoa! Sometimes I got A good feeling. yeah! [flies down to the dancing floor] I got a feeling that I never never never had before no no no no I got a good feeling yeah [Snaping fingers] Whoa whoa! Sometimes I get a good feeling. yeah I got a feeling that i never never never never had before no no no no I got a good feeling yeah!

Guess who Weeee! [Falls Down] Everybody say I'm stupiid yes siree that's how that's why that's where I chop look I'll knock on wood, [knocking is heard] I will knock on woood, [knocking is heard again] so I'm stupid what what what can I dooo I tell you!

WHAT THE [BLEEP]?! Shut up Woody. [Throws an egg at Woody] Don't do it again.

[Phone is ringing then Woody picks it up then answers] Hello?

[In Spanish accent] Hola Handy Manny's repair shop. You break it…

We fix it!.

This is Manny.

[Grabs manny's tools and Kicks Mr. Lopart in the ass] I've got your bucket of tools Manny!

[Kills manny with a gun] So long bastard!

We all say goodbye to my grandfather, but he truly is in a new place in heaven.