Family, after nearly killing you on a ski trip to the Himalayas, I saved our lives by giving each of you bionic implants. Let's use these cool, new powers as the Bionic Six!
[The children cheer]
Uh, hun, maybe we should be thankful we're alive and not...
BIONIC SIX!
Open wide!
You just got eighty-Bionic-Sixed!
[bat cracking] Dad, turns out hitting homers isn't a superpower-AAH! [gets riddled with bullets]
BIONIC FIVE!
Eric?!
Uh, his codename is Sports-1.
He was our son, and now he's dead! You asshole! We're getting a divorce.
BIONIC FOUR!
WAA- [also gets riddled with bullets]
BIONIC THREE!
You killed my brother! [crushes Rock-1]
BIONIC TWO!
[crying] We never had any training... [crushes himself]
BIONIC ONE!
Only now do I see that bionics solve nothing...GUH! [gets riddled with bullets]
I AM OUT OF WORK!
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