DEDora The Explorer
[as she and Boots are climbing Mt. Everest] My name is Dora the Explorer, and I fear this mountain may be my grave.
[Dora and Boots come across a snowman in their path]
BBoots
A snowman? I love snowmen!
Is there anything you don’t love, Boots?
BBoots
[thinking] Tell her, man! Tell her her hair looks like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men! This is your chance, Boots! Don’t puss out! [to Dora] Nope! [thinking] You pussy...
[Dora and Boots walk on, passing the snowman. Suddenly his black eyes pop off, and he collapses, and is in fact Swiper the Fox. Swiper proceeds to swipe something from Boots, but Dora is quick to notice him.]
[quickly sees Swiper, stopping him] Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping! Swiper, no swiping!
SSwiper
[freezing up] B-but Dora, I'm dying! I have severe altitude sickness!
[pulls down her scarf to reveal a grin on her face and points to it] See this face?
This is my not-giving-a-fuck face!
[holding up her gloved hand] Here's another choice for you. Guess which finger? I hope you guessed the one that means fuck you!
[Dora and Boots make it across the drop via a zip line. Boots climbs onto the other side when Diego appears on the opposite one.]
[Diego jumps and clings onto the rope halfway between the two sides, but due to his weight, the pole that holds one side of the rope begins to break off.]
DDiego
[frightened] Wh- what was that?
[The pole starts to break off a bit more.]
Where is your safety harness?
[Swiper appears on the other side of the drop, apparently having stolen Diego’s harness.]
SSwiper
Payback’s a bitch!
We did it! [the Fiesta Trio jump up from nowhere and celebrate with them, but suddenly get totally frozen! Dora grabs one of the members and eats him, gushing green blood out and making Boots gasp] I'm an explorer. Food is food. [grabs another one and eats him as Boots watches in shock. We then cut to the duo walking back down the mountain to see Swiper right where they left him; Swiper is now shivering and frostbitten all over]
SSwiper
[shivering] H-H-Help...m-m-me...
[whispers] Got you something. [puts a gun in Swiper's hand with it pointing to his head]
SSwiper
[pulls the trigger twice, but the gun just clicks; whispers back] You bitch! [Dora pulls her scarf down and grins at him; She and Boots walk on, again leaving Swiper all alone. He looks off into the distance and sees the Grim Reaper coming towards him through the blizzard] R-R-Reaper, no r-r-reaping...R-R-Reaper, no reaping...Reaper-
GRGrim Reaper
Doom! [walks closer to him and pokes him on the head, killing him instantly, and a ghastly scream is heard. The Grim Reaper then chuckles in happiness to end the sketch]
[walking down in an alcohol aisle at a store, reading a shopping list] Soda, cookies, horchata... [crumples up the list and tosses it aside] BARF! [turns to the viewers] Help me out. Which beer has the highest alcohol by volume? [Blue computer cursor clicks on the larger bottle] Good choice!
BBackpack
Uh, Dora, you're not old enough to buy that.
BBackpack
Dora, please, no! It's wrong-
[stuffs another bottle inside Backpack's mouth, making her gag] Now let's complete this transaction! [runs out of the store]
CCashier
Hey, stop that kid!
I need your help again. I need everybody to shout: Where my motherf-[bleep]ing map at?! [blue cursor clicks on her backpack] Aaaaaaaaw, yeah! [pulls Map out] Map, show me where to find my friend, Marcus. He's always holding. [winks]
MMap
I, uh...I don't know, Dora. [Dora tears down map] OOOUCH! [Stops it] Okay, okay! He's at the park on 12th, under the JUNGLE GYM!
He said he might have some "X," too. You can call me Dora... [Throws map away] the X-plorer! [Camera cuts to the high school party; she is to the viewers while drunk] Hey, I need your help! [gestures her friends] Paulo or Maria? [blue crusor clicks on Maria] No argument here. [starts making out with her as a group of men take pictures of them with their phones]
SSwiper
[lifting and looking under girls' skirts, chuckling] Just call me the "virginity" Swiper.
Swiper, no swiping. Swiper, no swiping.
SSwiper
Oh, man! [jumps into the girl's arms as they trip into the maintenance room]
Robot Chicken · 315 quotes
