Janet Gavin quotes from Rescue Me

Tommy

Okay, Colleen, sex with the boyfriend, in the car in front of the house. How about that, huh? The neighbors could've seen--

Janet

So did we. So did we.

Tommy

Honey, she's a kid, she just turned 18... you know...

Janet

You got me pregnant when I was 17.

Tommy

Okay, that was--

Janet

In your truck, while we were drinking, and on pot.

Tommy

It was the 70's, okay?

Janet

This baby hates me.

Tommy

Honey, he's a baby, he doesn't even know what hate is.

Janet

He's a Gavin. He was born to hate. You know, come to think of it, I think he's all Gavin. Half Johnny, half you.

Janet

Oh my God, this is it. This is the end of the line.

Tommy

W-W-What?

Janet

Yeah, no. I've heard about this. Tommy, you have never not gotten it up for me.

Tommy

Honey... Honey, I just need to uh... what?

Janet

Tommy, I get wet, you get hard. You get hard, I get wet. That's the deal. That's been the deal for 20 something years. It may as well been our marriage vows.

Tommy

Where's her lunch?

Janet

Oh, yeah, I forgot that this morning, but she can just grab something at school.

Katy

The food at school tastes like poo.

Janet

Well, how would you know what poo tastes like?

Katy

I use my imagination.

Tommy

Okay, do me a favor. Use your imagination for something a little more constructive, like, reading or writing, okay? [hands her money] Okay, have a good day. Say good bye to your brother.

Katy

He smells like poo.

Tommy

He's supposed to smell like poo, he's a baby.

Remember, she's got a boyfriend.

Tommy

Yes, she does... who's paralyzed... You know, his thing still works...

Janet

Are you kidding me?

Sheila

How's the baby?

Janet

Oh, the baby's fine. [Sheila has a blank look on her face and sits back in her seat] Okay, okay, so what just happened? What was that?

Sheila

Hmm?

Janet

What? Th-That look on your face.

Sheila

Hm, what? Did I have a look?

Janet

Yeah.

Sheila

[looks to the side] Oh, you know what? It was probably the look of, um, disbelief.

Janet

Okay, you lost me.

Sheila

Yeah, it was disbelief in reaction to that, uh, strange little smile that crossed your face when I asked you about the baby. [Janet gives her a look] Don't even try to act like you didn't have a little smile on your sour little puss before you answered my question about the baby.

Janet

I-I don't even know why I bother to be nice to you.

Sheila

[laughs] I'm sorry. Was that you being nice to me? Why don't you go to hell, Janet?

Janet

Aren't you already there?

Janet

You spelled it wrong.

Sean

[walks in] Hey!

Janet

Hey.

Sean

Hey, ladies. Wow. Fancy meeting you two here. What are the odds that the two of you be here at exactly the same time? Huh? It's really-- [laughs and pauses] I'm not interrupting anything, am I?

No.

Sean

Oh, good, good. Oh, hey! Is that the new cell phone everyone's talkin' about? That's awesome! [Sean picks up Janet's cell] What's a cunf? [Sean laughs nervously, they are all silent] I, uh, just came by to say hi to the guys, so, I'm actually late so I'm gonna-- I'm gonna pick up my watch-- I left it at the, uh.. It's good to see you both. So, you look great. Both of you.

Sheila

Oh, hey! I'm glad you're feeling better!

Sean

Thanks.

Sheila

The correct spelling?