Regular Show · Season 1
♪ Animal olives were packed in a jar… ♪
[knocking on the door and opens] Hey, bro. Cool song. Muscle Man's at the door.
[sighs and floats to the front door, where Muscle Man is standing, soaking wet] Yes?
Bro, I know I don't seem very cool. But there's gotta be a reason we were such good friends, and I don't want to lose that.
Hey, didn't I tell you to mow the lawn? Why are you watching TV?
I don't know. Just feeling "blah" today, you know?
Yeah, kind of got a case of the afternoon sleeps.
(groans) I don't wanna hear it. Get back to work or you're FIRED!!!
We did it dude! We mowed the entire lawn with out taking a single break! You wanna go get some lunch?
Aw yea-uh, I do! Nothing on Earth's gonna stop us from getting some lunch! Huh?
Party Horse! (They walk towards it as they chant) Party, party, party, party, party, par... (the spacecraft opens) Huh?
(sniffles) Oh, Chrissy! (cries; Scene cuts to the house where he is lying on the couch and Mordecai and Rigby standing there) UUUUUUGGGHHH!
Dude, what happened to you?
Chrissy happened, man, she dumped me, and she'll probably never talk to me again.
That's rough, man. What went wrong?
Augh! It's all her dad's fault. He always telling her my partying is "compulsive" and that i'm a "danger to myself and others." I tried to talk to my bros on Party Horse Planet for advice, but they just duct tape me to a flagpole and put my underwear down. After that, I came to Earth hoping you dudes can help me.
Wooooaaaaahhhh...
Uh, don't worry, dude, we'll help you get your girlfriend back.
You will?
It's easy, you just gotta get something nice to show her you care about her.
Yeah, man, the mall has like 20 stores that only sells stuff for guys who need to apologize to their girlfriends. With our help, you'll be back in the saddle in no time.
Dude, saddle jokes, not cool.
What are you doing?!
Huh?!
What time is it?!
6:00! The sun's already down, and you've raked NO LEAVES!
Oh, but--
No "buts," "ands," or "ifs"! I don't want to hear it.
Uh, I think it's "ifs," "ands," or "buts."
Well, if you talk back to me again And don't get back to work, your butts are gonna be FIRED!
Dude, this is serious. We got to get a good night's sleep.
Your dad? Tell him I said hi!
Eileen says hi.
Hi, Eileen!
Hi, Eileen!
Hi, Eileen!
I'm done with cats.
[shocked when he sees an angry Eileen after the other girls walk off] Eileen?!
[angrily] Rigby!
How'd the old man land such a megababe?
[blushing] Heh, well… [blushing fades; back to angry] No! You know, I don't like being lied to by my boyfriend. I missed the dance show to bring you soup! [runs off on her own]
Eileen, are you okay?! Did you fall down the rock hole?!
I'm okay! But it's pitch-black down here. I don't know how to get out.
I'm comin' down!
Actually, it'd be better if you went to get help! [sighs after Rigby falls into the cave]
Eileen, I can explain! I was going to the hospital but I got lost!
Rigby, I know you're not sick! Just tell me the truth!
[sighs deeply] Okay. I'm not just hangin' out in a cave with teens for fun. I... I never graduated from high school.
Really?
This whole cave thing is just for school credits so I can graduate and get my diploma. I never cared until I saw the Eileen Plan, but now all I can think about is how you're gonna be the president, and I'm just gonna be some jerk you used to date.
But I don't need a genius. I like you, just the way you are.
Yeah?
Yeah. [she and Rigby both stand up and bump into each other; sighs] What are we gonna do? It's way too dark to find a way out.
Hmm. I got an idea.
[after watching an advertisement for Seeds of Agony by Jonno] Wow, that sounds crazy.
[laughs] Crazy enough to work!
Dude, what are you talking about?
[leans in closer to whisper] Can you guys keep a secret? I'm taking Eileen to see that tomorrow! And you guys are coming with! And, you're not gonna ruin the surprise!
What?
It sounds a little intense.
And why's it gotta be a surprise? Is it a special occasion or something?
No, and that's the point! She'd be expecting something if it was. I've made her laugh, cry, scream with terror when she fell into that cave hole, all the big emotions. But she's too smart to be surprised!
No way.
If there's a mystery, she has to solve it. Whenever I try to surprise Eileen, she figures it out immediately. [Flashback to him dressed up in murder-mystery-style clothing and Eileen answers the door] Good evening, my lady. I'm here to warn you that trouble's afoot. You see, there's been a mur-
[squeals with excitement] You're taking me to a murder mystery, right?
Uh... yes.
Great! I already picked out a dress so we could go!
[Another flashback]
[carrying a telescope] Surprise! I'm taking you-
To the conjunction of the Moon and Mars up on Lookout Mountain? I know! I'm so excited!
[Another flashback]
Hello-
You're taking me to the biannual mating season of the Hermit Crabs? You're the best!
[Back to the present]
She's smart like that, dude. So I thought of a plan so crazy she'll never figure it out. Will you guys help drive us around?
Dude, you're being kinda crazy, but at least it's a nice kind of crazy.
I think that's sweet Rigby. Of course we'll help you.
[walks in room carrying a tray of celery and peanut butter] Who wants celery and peanut butter? Wait, I smell a surprise brewing.
No. You don't.
You're taking me to a movie after this.
Double black diamond?! Wait! NO, STOP! TURN THIS THING AROUND! I WANT TO GO DOWN!
[calling out] Eileen, what are you doing?!
I told you-- I'm getting my scarf!
Stop lying! Just tell me what's wrong!
I'll tell you what's wrong, the thrills, the chills, the spills-- snow tubing is not for me!
How do you know? You never tried it.
I did try it. When I was little, I went snow tubing with my dad. [Flashback to that day] We tried to hit a jump... but the inertia worked against us. The cold air felt like death on my face. And then... [gasps] that's when I got THIS! [pulls down her sleeve, revealing a scar on her elbow arm]
What am I looking at exactly?
A scar-- a bad one!
Oh.
Yeah. Ever since then, I've been afraid of snow tubing, I was just too embarrassed to tell you. I didn't wanna ruin the trip. I knew how much it meant to you.
You shouldn't be embarrassed. I freak out over small spaces all the time. I'm not ashamed of my mucastaphobia.
[giggles] Claustraphobia. And you're right.
Something smells amazing.
It's the Buddy Bohn-mi truck business!
What's Buddy Bohn-mi?
(To Rigby) Aw man, that sounds good, but the delivery truck's gonna be here any minute.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Regular Show pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
