I KNOW WHAT I HEARD!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
That's not true! I never did that stuff even though it was my responsibility.
Like I said, I get it. […] I used to kick the leaves everywhere after I rake them so Benson might think you were slacking off.
What're you guys doing here? And what room is this? What's all this stuff?
We don't know, but we're pretty sure Thomas has something to do with it. There was a guy in the cupboard, and pretty sure he did that too!
I think we stumbled on something really big.
What guy? What are you talking a—?
[Natalie enters the room, clapping slowly]
NNatalie
[Russian accent] I know you Americans love the ironic slow clap.
Natalie? What's with the accent? What is all this?
NNatalie
I am not Natalie! I am... (takes her clothes off) Natalia! And I am not lowly preschool teacher! I am Russian spy!
MRMordecai & Rigby
Whoa!
NNatalia
So clever, you Americans — only took two years to figure out things at park were not what they seem. And I am not only one right under your ignorant noses. One of your own has been conspiring against you.
What?! Who would do that?! Natalie, you're acting crazy!
NNatalia
Oh, sweet Benson. Why don't you let him tell you yourself? Nikolai!
[Thomas enters the room; Benson, Mordecai and Rigby gasp]
Thomas, why'd you step out when she called for "Nikolai"?
NNikolai
[Russian accent] Because my name is not Thomas. It is Nikolai. And I am Russian spy.
[The guys react in shock in finding out that Thomas/Nikolai is actually a Russian spy; End of Part 1, beginning Part 2]
Dude, for real?!
NNikolai
[clearing throat] Yeah, I am Russian spy.
Oh, snap! Now we're all boned! And guess who didn't believe me? You, and you, and you, and-! [Natalia punches him in the arm, silencing him]
NNatalia
Silence, rat!
Man, which one should we give him?
I don't which one's worse.
All of them. ALL OF THEM! Put all of them together, NOW!
(imagining Margaret and CJ meeting each other at the Christmas party): CJ, this is Margaret. My girlfriend. (the ground gives way beneath him) I mean, my ex-girlfriend. (the hole gets deeper) I mean, a girl I kissed a bunch in the past who's my friend. (the hole gets even deeper) Should I stop talking now? (Screams as egg nog pours out of Margaret's and CJ's cups)
[disgusted] I never want to speak to you again, Mordecai!
[also disgusted] Yeah, way to make things weird!
(screaming) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
(Flashback ends)
(In reality) NO!!
[Benson in his office writing on a paper, then his phone rings and he answers it]
Hello, this is Benson.
VVoice
Will you accept a collect call from... [Mordecai and Rigby are panicking on the phone for help]
[sighs] Accept.
Oh, my gosh, oh, my gosh, Oh, my gosh! We're in trouble, man. Benson, we're in Australia!
Haha, very funny, guys. Listen up, I missed you at work yesterday. If you don't come in Monday, don't bother coming in at all. [hangs up]
What did he say?
If we don't come in to work on Monday, we're fired.
Aw, man.
Dude, come on. We need to get to an airport.
Where do we turn off next, Eileen?
(while looking in her bag) Hold on, let me check the directions! (finds some trail mix) Trail Mix? Oh no! This is my recreation bag! I left the directions in my school bag by mistake!
(Takes the trail mix from Eileen) Wump-wump! (eats the trail mix)
SSheena
[singing while squatting down facing her posterior] Baked a real fine cake, it's gonna make you shake. Baked a real...
[woefully burying his stained suit] Suit, you were the best thing that ever happened to me. You made me feel... [eats chicken wing] alive, full of... power, full of strong...ness! To you, suit—may we meet again in the next life.
This is either a miracle or I've gone insane. But who cares? I look good!
SSuit
[spoke] "You sure do, Benson."
Thanks. Wha?! Who said that?
SSuit
"It's me, Benson, the suit."
You... can talk?
SSuit
"I can do many things."
Why didn't you say anything before now?
SSuit
"I wanted to be certain that you were worthy. Incompetence aside, you showed me that you cared about me when you tried to clean that stain. I was created for a dark purpose, Benson. To be a status symbol for evil men—evil, mysterious, powerful, handsome, wealthy men. But after these last few days, I've realised that I would rather be worn by someone with absolutely none of those qualities. I want to live a simple life as the suit of a simple man. You are that man, Benson."
Cool.
SSuit
"I'll never leave you, Benson. Also, if you're interested, I have a few ideas for keeping Mordecai and Rigby in line."
Let's go manage a park.
MORDECAI AND RIBGY!!!!!!!!!!!
[gasps when he looks out and sees CJ on the ground, looking devastated] Uh, I can't be here, I-I gotta hang with CJ. [takes off his seat belt and stands up] CJ, hi! [the chopper jerks, making him lose balance and fall on Margaret's lap]
[furiously annoyed] Oh, come on! [turns grey] Did you think I wouldn't find out, that you could just make a fool of me forever?! [turns into a full on storm cloud and flies up towards the chopper] This is the LAST TIME!
Hey, Benson, what's with the fancy spread?
Mr. Maellard said he needed to give an announcement this morning. You know, you all could learn a thing or two about boss appreciation… [Mr. Maellard's limo suddenly crashes through the sweets; sighs and facepalms as Mr. Maellard gets out of his limo] Mr. Maellard! How nice of you to visit us today.
No time for bollocking Benson. Take a seat. As you all aware: Park attendance has been declining for years. With no visitors, I'm basically just paying you boys to babysit Pops at this point.
And they're doing a bang up job.
With that in mind, I've decided to shut down the park.
[The guys all start complaining]
No visitors?! Well, what about, uh, that guy? [points to Huge Head and everyone looks at him]
HHHuge Head
Wait, not yet!
One ugly guy, plotting revenge on my son for the last four years isn't enough to keep the park open. You guys all had a good run, but I'm afraid you're all fired. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go rig a yacht race.
What's the secret?! Why does East Pines get visitors when we don't?! It's the uniforms, isn't it, Gene?!
GGene
[sighs] Yes, Benson. It's the uniforms.
Well, guys, this is it, our last day, so I don't know, rake some leaves or something.
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