How many of you have ever dreamed of having a treasure of untold riches?
Mm... untold riches. Now, this is living. Don't you agree, Lance made of caviar.
VladimirI'll take them all. (six unicorns neighing) (Vladimir laughing) (Maximus neighing when he sits on a carriage pulled by Lance and Eugene)
We are holding a Corona-wide race for the lost treasure of Herz Der Sonne!
All right! (everyone cheering)
But, wait! It gets better. Because this is about having fun together, everyone will be racing with a partner! (Varian and the others groaning)
Vladimir Who picks our partners?
Rapunzel Ah, ah! Not who... (pulls off the sheet to reveal an invention) What.
Couldn't we have just pulled names out of a hat? (asks Rapunzel) (Catalina, Varian, Xavier and Lance are looking at Eugene)
Oh, but it is a hat! I call it the "Horotory Automated Team-builder." Or HAT. (takes the paper off) (squeaking) (Gregorio snort, grunting) (bell ringing) (hammering) (clicking) (balls roll down the tube) (clicking, clanking) (picks up the balls) And our first team is... Stan and...
Angry! (toss the red and blue balls away)
What? This is an outrage! It's Stan and Pete. Everyone knows it's always Stan and Pete! (Stan comforts Pete)
Yeah! And I don't wanna be paired up with some dopey guard.
You're not paired up with some dopey guard. (tells Kiera) You're paired up with-- (points to himself) Oh... (knows that Kiera is his partner for the race) (machine clicking, clanking)
Pascal and... Max! Aw, cute! (toss the balls away) (Pascal squeak) (Maximus snort) (Pascal squeal) (Maximus nicker) (machine clank) Xavier... and Varian! (Varian turns his head and sees Xavier is his partner) Ruddiger... and Hamuel! (toss the balls away) (Hamuel caws) (Ruddiger chitters) Eugene... and, of course, Lance. (toss the balls away)
(laughing) Are you kidding me? Me and Lance together, searching for treasure? Just give it to us right now, folks.
And finally... Me... and Feldspar! (toss the balls) (laughs) (runs to Feldspar) Up high! Feldspar. Come on!
Oh, please, don't hit me! Oh! Oh, I get it. It's a-- a gesture of camaraderie. Well, then I'm all in. Up high, woo-hoo! Ow.
Okay, everyone! (Pete, Stan, Monty, Vladimir, Varian, Ruddiger, Xavier, Max and Pascal walk to the map) Take a good look at the map. Be sure to memorize it because you cannot take it with you. It's up to you and your partner, or, heh, should I say, your new bestie, to find your way to the treasure.
Vladimir
Unicorns, unicorns, unicorns, unicorns... unicorns.
Uh... Feldspar? I appreciate how excited you are, but you really don't need to pack much. (Feldspar's bag thuds) Wow! (surprised) What do you have in there?
Well, shoes, mostly, and of course, shoe polish, shoe horns, shoe laces...
Uh, you know what? Uh, why don't you fill me in on the way? We are, ugh, already behind.
Yes, yes. You're right. (Rapunzel takes Feldspar's heavy bag and carries it then puts it on his back) Don't worry. We're going to win! After all, we're the only team with a map. (takes a map from his apron and shows it to Rapunzel)
What? (takes the map from Feldspar) Where did you get that? (asks Feldspar)
I took an impression of the map. (takes the map back from Rapunzel)
No, no. We can't use the map. That's cheating. (tells Feldspar)
Feldspar Well, that's one word for it.
(sigh) What's another word for it?
What do I look like, a thesaurus? (asks Rapunzel when he opens the door via his foot)
Feldspar, come on. We can still win this fair and square. We don't need a map. (tells Feldspar then he sees the map)
You know what? You're right. (rolls up the map) And when you're right, you're right. We can, nay, we must win this using nothing but our wits! (body thuds) So, wagon wheel, we meet again. (Stan is pushing Kiera via a wheelbarrow) (Rapunzel and Feldspar see Stan pushing Kiera via a wheelbarrow)
You know (panting), I can't help but wonder why I have to push you in a wheelbarrow.
Because I'm not big enough to push you in a wheelbarrow. Now, hurry!
Vladimir
Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns! Unicorns... (he and Monty soaked Kiera and Stan with water then Kiera turns around to open Stan's bag)
Excuse me. I couldn't help but notice you're rifling through my personal effects?
Hey, Captain Stache, look around. We're losing. (tells Stan) I'm looking for anything that might give us a leg up. (sees a helmet from the bag) You brought a spare uniform? (holds a helmet when asking Stan)
A good soldier never travels without an extra uniform. (Kiera sees Varian and Xavier's hot air balloon)
Welcome, one and all, to Corona's first talent show! Now, let's turn up the talent! (audience murmuring) (Vladimir holds a ceramic unicorn)
Vladimir
And now, we're gonna add some happy little eyeballs. (holds a paintbrush) There. (chuckle) This fella's got blue eyes.
Unicorns! (runs away screaming)
In my job, I fold a lot of laundry, so when I play cards, the last thing I'm gonna do... is fold! Laugh! (gasping, murmuring) (Eugene is worried) (curtain squeaking) (Catalina is the third act while Kiera announces)
Gather close, one and all, for the truly astounding feats the likes of which you have never seen before. Standing beside me today is a young woman, my sister. You know her as Catalina, but I know her as the eighth wonder of the world! A girl who possesses a singular talent that is, I guarantee, the most stupendous, the most eye-popping...
Oh, no. (worried about Catalina turning into a werewolf)
The most fantastical spectacle ever to be witnessed! Feast your eyes upon the beast! (Catalina growling) (people gasping) (Catalina's outfit ripping) (Catalina growling) (Catalina howl) (people gasping and screaming then they are running away)
But I didn't even get to my soft shoe routine!
No, no, no! You're singing all wrong. Stand with your feet hip width apart, knees relaxed, so not raise your chin, it puts tension on your voice, and please breathe through your diaphragm. (red rocks crash) (people gasping) (Eugene gasps) (Monty and a lady gasping)
MMan
We're doomed, dommed! There's nowhere to hide! (gasps) (Eugene sees him running to the red rocks and touches them then he becomes frozen)
Attila! Ah, not like that! Like this! (Eugene turns around) Figaro, figaro You have to dig Through the belly! In through the nose. Figaro me Figaro you, figaro me Figaro her, figaro dog, figaro cat (Eugene walks to Lance and tells the latter that he is the final act)
Lance. (pushes Attila away)
I just figured out who's up next. You. You are gonna calm the people of Corona down by singing!
Why do you always bring people here when you don't even like it yourself? (asks Eugene) (Brock walks inside the pub)
I bring people here because I know they will hate it. (walks inside the pub after Brock)
So there I was, you know, I'm surrounded by a battalion of guards, all with their arrows drawn and pointed at numero uno. So I hand over the goods, and I say, "I see your point." (takes his sword out) (Vladimir and Shorty laugh) (Attila chuckles) (Vladimir turns around while points at Brock)
Vladimir
Where did you get this guy? He's great.
Great? What--? (Max whinnies) That's not even his story. It's mine. (walks on the table) And he forgot the best part. (laughs) So-- so then the Captain says, "lock him up and throw away the key." And then this is when it gets great. He actually does. I spent weeks in jail while they searched for it, but, man, it was worth it. For the story, you know? (chuckles nervously and sighs) (Attila snoring) (Eugene jumps off the table) But, uh, I guess you had to be there. (walks back to Rapunzel and Maximus)
Well, of course, all that is nothing compared to the time I took on the Earl of Camembert single-handedly.
Eugene, you really need to let your jealousy of this guy go. That's not who you are anymore.
Flynn Rider was the closest thing to an identity I ever had, okay? Sure, I was on the wrong side of the law, but I was my own man. In Corona, I'm just Rapunzel's incredibly attractive boyfriend. Or that super, super good-looking freeloader living in the castle. I can't let somebody tarnish my legacy.
Legacy? (scoffs) You were a thief. Behind each stolen item is someone who's upset or heartbroken that was taken. Is that a legacy to be proud of?
Well, honestly, it depends on the-- (Rapunzel is annoyed) No, no. Definitely not.
Instead of locking him up, why not try to help him? Wouldn't that be a more rewarding legacy?
(sighs) You're right. You're right. You're right, Sunshine. (tells Rapunzel) (walks away to help Brock) (Pascal squeaks)
There is the Eugene I know. (tells Pascal when he squeaks) (Attila and Vladimir laughing) (Eugene walks to Vladimir, Ulf, Attila and Shorty)
Excuse me. Ahem. Excuse me? Excuse me? Can I get by? Thank you. (put his hands on Vladmir and Ulf to) (Shorty has a Flynn Rider wanted poster on his face)
What? He was funny. (Eugene is mad at Attila, Vladmir and Shorty for letting Brock escape) (Eugene and Rapunzel see that Brock has escaped)
Ooh. (bangs his head on the wood) And he did it the same way I would have done it.
Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure · 631 quotes
