Cassandra quotes from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Cassandra

What's this? (sees the note) (Pascal turns around and chirps then leaves) (walks to the note and picks it up then opens it and smiles)

Cassandra

Raps, what you said before about being afraid. I want you to know that it's okay. I'd be afraid, too. But I want you to remember that whatever you have to face at the end of this road, you're not going to face it alone.

Cassandra

The path I'm on is a path paved in black

Cassandra

You'll stay in that cage until this is done. And just in case you think of escaping...

Princess Rapunzel

Come on, Cass! Those dreams are trying to tell me something! Ever since that night-

Cassandra

Shh. Raps, I told you: We can't tell anyone about that night.

Princess Rapunzel

Um, I think the secret's pretty much out.

Cassandra

Yeah, yeah. Everyone knows the hair's back but if anyone knew I was the one who took you outside when it happened, I'd be sent to a convent. Literally, a convent.

Princess Rapunzel

"Oh, please. Just Rapunzel. I need to ask you about my hair."

Varian

Ah, yes. So, fantastical stories about your hair returning have spread throughout Corona. Some say it's magic but, personally, I don't believe that. Now as you probably guessed, I am a man of science. Not magic. Specifically, al.

Cassandra

Alchemy. We know. Now listen here, kid! We need your help. But let me make something clear. Whatever happens here stays here! You got it!?

Varian

Now, let's see exactly what this hair is made of.

Eugene

You don't know what "boo" means, do you?

Princess Rapunzel

Of course I do! It's a cheer like "hooray" or "yea", right? No? Then what does "boo" mean?

Cassandra

It means someone hates you.

Princess Rapunzel

Why wouldn't someone like me? What could I have done to this person?

Eugene

"Rapunzel, who cares? Not everyone has to like you. Its part of life."

Cassandra

"Eugene's right. I someone couldn't like you for any number of reasons. Like you have a stupid goatee that makes you look ridiculous."

Eugene

"Uh, Cass, it's hard to take your insults seriously when you're holding that thing."

Cassandra

Listen, Raps, if you trying to find your defining activity, don't listen to this dud whose whole work history is being a two-bit hood.

Eugene

Two bit hood!? Hold the pastry! I'll have you know Cassandra, Flynn Rider was a legend.

Cassandra

Keyword being "was." And what is it you do now?

Eugene

I uh, I do many...things. You know, important things, things so important you wouldn't even understand 'em. Sometimes I don't even understand 'em. Tell her, Blondie.

Rapunzel

Hmm. What?

Cassandra

Fitzherbert! (Rapunzel gasps)

Rapunzel

(sighs) not again. (Pascal also had enough of Eugene and Cassandra's argument)

Eugene

I don't know what you're so upset about! Oh, wait, know was the wrong choice of words. (Rapunzel sees her painting and holds it then tosses it on the other paintings and walks to the hall while being annoyed) I meant, I don't care what you're so upset about.

Rapunzel

(sighs deeply) Hey, guys! Everything okay? I couldn't help but overhear a--

Cassandra

Not only did you take my halberd without asking, you got your disgusting hair all over it!

Eugene

How dare you! First of all, I did not touch your halberd. Second of all, what is a halberd? (Cssandra shows it to him) Oh! Oh, a halberd. Okay, fine, you got me, but check out this shave. Smooth as a baby's bottom.

Cassandra

Try a monkey's.

Rapunzel

Okay. Okay. (tells Cassandra and Eugene when walking between them) Everyone, let's take a deep, calming, cleansing breath. (inhales, exhales)

Eugene

To be fair, I asked several times if I could use that thing.

Cassandra

And I said "no" every time.

Eugene

Which shouldn't matter, because we both know I don't listen to you.

Rapunzel

Guys, come on. This is ridiculous. (tells Cassandra and Eugene)

Cassandra

Eugene, a halberd should only be handled by a skilled warrior.

Eugene

Hello! Skilled warrior! (referring to himself) (grabs Cassandra's halberd from her and show her that she is wrong about him being a pro) You forgot Flynn Rider has handled plenty of weapons. (King Frederic's favorite vase shatters) Oh. (sees that he shattered it)

Cassandra

Ha! Way to go, Eugene. (Rapunzel sees her dad's favorite vase is shattered on the floor)

Eugene

That-- that's a faulty halberd right there. (points to it) (Rapunzel runs to her dad's favorite vase that is shattered by Eugene)

Rapunzel

Let's not panic! I mean, it is-- was my dad's favorite, irreplaceable, one of a kind, most favorite vase, but--

Cassandra

Hey, I have an idea, Eugene. Why not just steal him another one? Oh! Oh, wait, wait. You can't! This is a one of a kind vase.

Eugene

(chuckles) Of course you would pronounce it "vahz", Cassandra.

Cassandra

Yeah, yeah, "vayce," "vahz." Either way, it'll be the first the king sees when he sits down for dinner tonight, or doesn't see.

Eugene

You just love making me look like an idiot in front of the king, don't ya?

Cassandra

Nope, you do a perfect job of that all on your own. (Rapunzel sighs and walks back to her bedroom)

Eugene

Thank you. Wait a minute!

Eugene

Okay, it's a grim place to offer an apology, but then again, this is Cassandra we're talking about. (turns around to see Cass inside a cell)

Cassandra

I'm sorry. (Eugene yelps) Did you just say I was going to offer you an apology? (holds her note while walking to him)

Eugene

Yeah! You said in your note you wanted to say sorry.

Cassandra

I didn't write you a note. You wrote me a note. (shows the note) (door closes, locks) Huh? (Rapunzel is inside the dungeon twirling a key)

Eugene

Hey! What are you doing? (asks Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

Time for the game to begin. (tells Eugene and Cassandra)

Cassandra

Game? What are you talking about? (asks Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

Don't you see? I wrote the letters. They were merely a ruse to lure you both down here.

Eugene

What? You can't just lock us in here. (Pascal grumbles)

Rapunzel

(chuckles) Oh, I can, and I have, and I'm afraid your only way to escape is to work together, to solve a puzzle of my own design.

Eugene

What puzzle?

Rapunzel

Within these walls, you will find a series of strategically placed, increasingly difficult clues, each one more unfathomably perplexing than the last. Put them together, and you're free to go. (Eugene and Cassandra are shocked) Fail? And this prison cell will become your new home. (leaves) (cackles evilly) (returns with treats) Oh, and I made you guys cookies. (gives the basket to Cassandra) (leaves again)

Eugene

What are we, twelve? (takes a cookie from the basket and holds the treat then bites it) (cookie crumbs rustling to the floor and one of it rolls into the hole to the floor of Stabbingtons' cell)

Cassandra

Listen, this is all your fault.

Eugene

Oh, please! (Sideburns picks up the cookie crumb from the floor) You know darn well that my only fault is that I have no faults!

Recognize that voice? (asks Patchy) Sounds like our old friend.

Cassandra

(grunts, groans) (sighs) (walks away from the bars and goes to the other bed) (Eugene eats a cookie and takes his pocket watch from his satchel then it is ticking, clinking) (Cassandra is bugged when Eugene ticks his watch and she turns around) So annoying!

Eugene

I know! All these delicious cookies, and no milk? (picks up the basket of treats) No, wait, she packed milk! (finds the milk and drinks it)

Eugene

Aah! (drank the bottle of milk)

Cassandra

Unbelievable! (jumps off the bed and walks to Eugene then grabs the basket out of his hand) Did you eat all the cookies? (asks Eugene)

Eugene

I'm not a pig, Cassandra. I ate all of your cookies. (tells her) I'm saving mine for later. (touches his satchel) (Cassandra is still mad at him and she shoves the basket at him) (basket thuds) (he holds the basket)

Eugene

Ah! (drops the basket) You know I could rattle off insulting adjectives describing your personality too, but to do so would imply that you actually have a personality, and I wouldn't feel right about doing that! (about to eat a cookie but Cassandra sees the coordinates)

Cassandra

Hey, hold on, wait, don't-- don't eat that! (slaps the cookie out of Eugene's hand and holds the treat)

Eugene

Oh! Go ahead, but it's got my milk drool on it.

Cassandra

Quick! Let me see the others. (takes a cookie out of Eugene's satchel)

Eugene

What are you doing?

Cassandra

X6? Y15? I think these are coordinates for a grid! Rapunzel must have hidden the key behind a loose brick in the wall, and these cookies tell us which one. (she holds the cookie and shows a coordinate to Eugene and she runs to the wall then he holds his satchel)

Eugene

So, just for clarification, I can eat the cookies now or no? (Cassandra checks the coordinates on the cookie to find a brick and pulls it out and she sees a spring)

Cassandra

Yes!

Eugene

That's it? That's just a rusty spring!

Cassandra

And on your first guess too. Wait, there's more. (finds a paper) It's another clue. "This one is easy." "Just follow my lead." Follow her lead? How? (turns around and asks Eugene) She locked us in here this makes no sense.

Eugene

That's because we're not supposed to follow her "leed." We're supposed to follow her "led". Hmm, different words, same spelling. Ah-ha! shows Cassandra and she jumps off the bed) (a pencil is shown and an arrow that Rapunzel drew on a wall pointing to the gear wedged between the wall and grabs it) Don't worry, kid. You're not the first person to match wits with this baby, and come off looking like a total chump. (points to his head)

Cassandra

(sighs)

Eugene

In fact, you might say making people look like chumps is kind of my spécialité.

Cassandra

Whoa. Whoa! (falls off)

Eugene

Ow!

Cassandra

Look! There's another clue. (sees another one of Rapunzel's clue wedged between Eugene's comb)

Eugene

I've been looking for this! (glad to have his comb back and he sees a mirror while Cassandra sits on a bed to read the clue)

Cassandra

This is your final clue, so pick up the pace. (Eugene walks to a mirror) "You'll find the last treasure in the same spot." "you find your face?" (turns and sees the mirror)

Eugene

Hey there, looking good. (winks at his reflection but Cassandra turns the mirror around to see a cork) Hey! I was using that!

Cassandra

Ugh, another useless item. (referring to the cork and throws it to the floor)

Eugene

Ho, ho, ho. Well done! (claps) (Cassandra is mad at him) You've discovered the castle's junk drawer.

Cassandra

Me? You were part of this too! (points to Eugene while he lays on the bed)

Eugene

Oh, no! Don't stir me into your failure stew! I was fine to sit here eating X and Y cookies until Rapunzel gave up and let us out.

Cassandra

And that's just like you, isn't it? Sit back and let things fall right into your lap.

Eugene

What's that supposed to mean? (asks Cassandra)

Cassandra

Oh, come on! You know exactly what it means!

Hey, Pretty Boy, Bowl Cut! Why don't you two scud buckets pipe down?

Cassandra

Why don't you mind your own business?

Ooh! "Mind my own business." Is that some comeback, Lady-Frowns-A-Lot?

Cassandra

(growls) (runs to the cell and tries to attack the person that insulted her)

Eugene

Whoa, whoa, Cassandra. (holds her) Let me handle this. (tells her while she is mad)

Look at that! Fancy Boots has got something to say!

Eugene

Name calling? Come on, we're better than that, aren't we? Sure, we can sit here and make fun of each other. Tease Cassandra for her chronic joylessness, or me for my uncommonly good looks, or you for your poor dental health and poor dental hygiene, tragic fashion sense, robust body odor, and what are clearly woefully misguided life-decision-making-skills, but do you really want to go down that road? (Cassandra smiles)

Mmm, I guess not. (Cassandra and Eugene smile at each other)

Eugene

Some game, huh?

Cassandra

Yep.

Eugene

So, Cass, let me ask you something. What's your deal?

Cassandra

What do you mean?

Eugene

I mean, you know, other than being a venomous cobra woman who has to follow my girlfriend everywhere, I don't know the first thing about you.

Cassandra

So?

Eugene

So, as I see it, you always make fun of my past, it's only fair I know something about yours. Plus we have nothing but time.

Cassandra

What do you wanna know?

Eugene

I don't know, what are your hopes? Your dreams? Is there a venomous cobra man in your life?

Cassandra

(laughing) Cobra man, no. Besides, I-- I don't have time for dreams.

Eugene

"Don't have time for dreams?" Honey, you are hanging out with the wrong princess.

Cassandra

My dad taught me at a young age to focus on the here and now.

Eugene

Yeah, wow. Being raised by the Captain of the Guards musta been a real treat.

Cassandra

He's a good man, and he taught me a lot. He showed me how to defend myself, how to take on responsibility, how to earn my keep. Besides, I don't remember my real parents, so, I got nothing to compare him to, anyway.

Eugene

Yeah, I don't remember mine either. I used to imagine they were swashbuckling explorers searching the world for treasure, and once they found it, they'd... come back and get me. It's dumb, I know. How about you? I mean, you ever imagine what your parents were like?

Cassandra

You know what? I don't really want to discuss this with you, Eugene. (goes to sleep)

Eugene

Okay, fine. I'll just shut up then. You know, just when I think I start to see a glimmer of a speck of a pinprick of a soul, you flip your ice switch back on. (tells Cassandra)

Cassandra

Stop trying to pry into my life. (annoyed at Eugene)

Eugene

I wasn't prying. Wait a minute, that's it, pry! (sits on the floor) We're supposed to build a jack with this stuff and pry the door open. (Cassandra sits on the floor and helps him) See, this piece faces upwards, and then you add this part to the top. Yes, brilliant!

Eugene

Alright, that should do it.

Cassandra

Here, let me try. (picks up the jack and walks to the door)

Eugene

No! No, no, no, that's too far! (runs to the door and tells her then he grabs onto it) Leverage Cassandra. It's all about the leverage.

Cassandra

I know what I doing.

Eugene

No, you don't!

Cassandra

Cut it out!

Eugene

You cut it out! The jack was my idea!

Cassandra

Ugh, "my idea." "Me, me, me." It's always all about you.

Eugene

Okay, let's make it about you then. "I'm Cassandra, and I can't stand Eugene, "because he's smarter than me, has better teeth, and doesn't use the word "vahz."

Cassandra

Ugh! You're making it about you again!

Eugene

That's because I'm far more interesting! (the juck fell apart to due Cassandra and Eugene fighting about who prys the door open) (items clanks to the hole)

Cassandra

No! (runs to the hole alongside Eugene and they dive on the floor to try to retrieve the items back) (the items fell to the Stabbingtons' cell)

Eugene

Oh, great! You lost my comb! That was the first thing I ever stole. (Sideburns snickering when he grabs Eugene's comb from the floor) I had it re-engraved and everything.

(snickering) Looks like it's our lucky day. (he and Patchy grab the items for the jack and rebuild it)