Old Lady Crowley quotes from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Old Lady Crowley

Is anybody there? Hello?

Monty

Oh, sugar! The king must be told! Oh, oh, oh! We have to tell the king.

Old Lady Crowley

Don't look at me. I'm on my lunch. (tells Monty) (eating lunch with a pig) (pig snorting) (munching)

The rocks are getting closer!

Oh! Oh, we're doomed! Doomed!

Old Lady Crowley

Pipe down, Feldspar. (in ominous voice) We're doomed, I tell you.

Frederic

People! (indistinct shouting) Citizens, please, listen to me! (loud whinnying, neighing) I will not lie to you any longer. Corona is in grave danger. The queen has been taken. Over half our royal guard lie wounded. And these black rocks draw ever closer. (indistinct shouting)

Eugene

Uh, sir, hi, yeah. If there's a "but" in this speech, you probably wanna cut to it... right now. (tells King Frederic then Rapunzel holds his arm)

Frederic

But I look at you, and I don't just see subjects. I see friends, family, strong, brave individuals who have stood by each others' side, and have never, ever backed down from a fight. Today, we face a danger like none before. As your king, your friend, and as your brother, I ask you to fight one more time. For Corona! (crowd chanting) For Corona! For Corona!

Old Lady Crowley

What do you ask of us, Your Majesty? (asks King Frederic)

Frederic

As was so insightfully pointed it out to me, we've been playing straight into Varian's hands, and now, he's expecting a full-out attack on Old Corona.

Stan

So, what's the plan, Your Majesty? (Rapunzel puts her finger on a model of Varian's home)

Rapunzel

We launch a full-out attack on Old Corona.

Pete

But we'd be giving him the upper hand.

Rapunzel

Yeah, well, we're let Varian think he still has the upper hand. And while we distract him with the assault, I am gonna sneak around the back using the underground tunnels and rescue the queen. (her dad puts his hand on her shoulder)

Frederic

We are going to to rescue the queen. (tells Rapunzel then she smiles)

Stan

With all due respect, Princess, Varian only wants you. Once he sees you're nowhere to found, won't he realize that our attack is just a diversion?

Rapunzel

Probably. That is what he is for. (Shorty is Rapunzel's decoy for the assault)

Shorty

I got this. (walks into the strategy room disguised as Rapunzel to fool Varian) Ready, Caspal? (gibbering)

Rapunzel

It's called the Mark of the Wolf, and Creighton's book says that a werewolf in its human form has this blue paw-shaped blemish somewhere on the person's hands, arms, or face. (Pascal squeaking when he jumps off Rapunzel to show her that he camouflage himself with blue paw prints and blemish) (Rapunzel laughs) (Pascal squeaks) The only other clue is that Creighton said the curse feeds on someone with a repressed rage? Well, that shouldn't be so hard. Everyone in Corona is so sweet. (turns and sees Old Lady Crowley)

Old Lady Crowley

You call these plumbagos? (asks a lady) (toss the flowers on the floor) (she and a lady are mad at each other) (Rapunzel see Pete and Stan slapping each other) (Rapunzel sees Ulf miming between a man and a lady)

Oh, yes, the invisible wall. (a man's wife yawns) (a man walks to his wife) Let's go. (holds his wife's arm then they leave but Ulf is mad) (Ulf smacks his face at an invisible wall and falls on the floor)

Rapunzel

Okay, this is gonna be harder than I thought. (hears Captain Creighton)

Captain Creighton

Gonna be a full moon tonight. (Rapunzel turns around) Better hope you find your little friend before I do. (tells Rapunzel)

Monty

Um, excuse me, I'm sorry, Princess Rapunzel? (walks to Rapunzel) (Pascal squeaks) Listen, I know we've had our differences, but I've really come to appreciate how much you do for our kingdom, and I thought I'd bring you an olive branch. It's made of licorice. (shows it to Rapunzel on a plate and tells her) (Rapunzel smiles and Pascal squeaks) (Rapunzel and Pascal see a blue paw print on Monty)

Rapunzel

Uh, actually, I don't like licorice. (turns and sees Captain Creighton) (tells Monty) In fact, no one likes licorice, Monty. (mad at him then she pushes him back to his candy store while seeing Captain Creighton)

Monty

What, but, no! I just-- (Rapunzel closes the door on him) (Rapunzel turns around and smiles but she sees that Captain Creighton is not standing at the barrel) (Captain Creighton leaves with Feldspar, Old Lady Crowley and the three townspeople) (Pascal squeaks and Rapunzel is feeling down) (Monty walks to the door but Rapunzel gasps and Pascal squeaks) I was a fool to reconcile! (mad at Rapunzel when she turns and sees Monty at the door then she sees him at the window) A fool, I tell you! (tells Rapunzel then she and Pascal are scared)

Rapunzel

Okay everyone. After the Saporian attack, this kingdom could use a real pick-me-up. And what better way to bring everyone together than with a community project?

Eugene

Woo hoo!

Varian

Right!

Rapunzel

With a little hard work, and a whole lot of Corona spirit, we can rebuild this kingdom. So, let's do it! (toss the shovels to everyone)

Eugene

Ha, ha!

Varian

Okay!

Lance

Let's do this thing.

Catalina

Hey! I have the artistic eye!

You dip, I paint! (indistinct arguments) (Maximus and Ruddiger growl) (arguments continue)

Eugene

I know this is typically your thing, Sunshine, but if you're trying to bring everyone together, maybe grueling manual labor isn't the best idea? (Rapunzel chops wood with an axe)

Rapunzel

Don't think of it as grueling manual labor. Think of it as creativity through destruction. (loud rumbling)

Oh, now look what you made me do!

Old Lady Crowley

That was your fault, you loafer!

Loafer?! I've never been so insulted! (Rapunzel runs to him and Old Lady Crowley to stop the argument)

Rapunzel

Feldspar! Old Lady, uh, Mrs. Crowley, let's not fight! Yes, we were supposed to keep that wall, but, hey! This just gives more to do together. (Feldspar and Old Lady Crowley groaning)

Old Lady Crowley

This is why Crowley works alone. (leaves)

(clears throat) I'll go get glue. (leaves) (wall clatters)

Rapunzel

(coughing) (sees a map) "Here lies King Herz Der Sonne's "lost treasure"? (turns around) (laughing) You guys, wait! This is an honest to goodness treasure map!

Xavier

I have heard "The Legend of Herz Der Soone's" Lost Treasure. It is said to be buried in his crypt. The tale begins millennia ago--

Eugene

Uh, Xaves, bottom line us, would you?

Xavier

She's right. It's a map.

Rapunzel

This is just the thing to bring everyone together!

Pete

I know how this looks, kid, okay? (tells Catalina when she yawns) But rest assured, I have this under con-- (trips) Oh, that-- is that a... Well, that's a lot of... (Catalina walks to him while annoyed) Oh, can you pry off some bramble? (asks Catalina)

Catalina

Shoo! Shoo! (sigh) (bird chirping) (grunting when trying to pull bramble away from Pete)

Shorty

Outta the way, slow boats! (Catalina and Pete hear Shorty when he and Old Lady Crowley are coming) (Shorty laughing when pulling the cart while Old Lady is riding it and holds an umbrella) (Catalina and Pete see Shorty and Old Lady Crowley are heading towards them) (Catalina and Pete duck their heads) Whoa! (splat) (Shorty trips and lands on Pete)

Old Lady Crowley

This is why Crowley works alone. (lands at the bramble) (brambles snapping)

Rapunzel

Alright, Eugene, agenda me.

Eugene

Okie dokie. We're gonna start off with what promises to be tons of fun, the semi-annual wheat crop report. (Raps takes three papers out of her bag and hand those to Eugene but he toss them to Lance)

Rapunzel

Already reviewed, and I know you were kidding, but, believe it or not, it was fun. (tells Eugene and Lance)

Eugene

Next, you've gotta approve the design for the castle's new footbridge. (Raps takes the decree of the footbridge to Eugene)

Rapunzel

Did it this morning. (Eugene hands the plans to her) In fact, while I was it, I designed a few more footbridges. Or would it be feetbridge?

Eugene

Woof!

Rapunzel

What? (hands the design to Lance) I'm used to getting a lot done by 7:15. (a maid walks by Rapunzel, Eugene and Lance)

Lance

What about breakfast? (asks Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

Breakfast? I eat motivation for breakfast. (Pascal squeaks) (Pascal snags a pastry to give Rapunzel then the latter holds it) (Pascal squeaks) Well, and cherry croissants. (eats it) Thanks, Pascal. (Eugene walks to the entrance of Cassandra's bedroom and he is spooked by her dummy)

Eugene

(chuckle) You know, I gotta say, Sunshine, even I-- Ah!

Rapunzel

Cass' sparring dummy?

Eugene

Oh, that's rich. Cass isn't even here, and she still finds a way to annoy me. (cart squeaking) (Old Lady Crowley exits Cassandra's bedroom with Cassandra's belongings)

Rapunzel

Mrs. Crowley, what are you doing with Cassandra's things? (walks to her and asks) (Rapunzel walks to Cassandra's belongings)

Old Lady Crowley

Meh. She's gone. So now it's junk. (takes and holds Cassandra's helmet) (Rapunzel turns around)

Rapunzel

Now, just a minute. I have faith that Cass will return, so kindly put her things back where you found them.

Old Lady Crowley

Sure. While I'm at it, are there any beds you would like me to unmade, or trash that needs to be brought back in, Your Highness? (Pascal grumbles)

Rapunzel

No, no. I guess I'll just do it. (Old Lady Crowley gives Cassandra's helmet to Rapunzel)

Old Lady Crowley

Help yourself. I'm on my break. (tells Rapunzel and leaves) The rest of her stuff is in the storage vault. (Pascal squeak)

Varian

What does it mean, Demanitus? What does it mean? (translating the scroll then he turns around when he hears his dad)

Quirin

Varian! (Varian opens the door and sees that his dad is encased by inside the amber)

Varian

Dad! No! No, not again! (runs to his dad to help free him)

Serves you right, traitor. (tells Varian)

There's the betrayer. (angry mob chatter) (Varian sees the angry townspeople)

Old Lady Crowley

This is what you deserve!

Varian

Dad?

Quirin

Varian! (wants his son to help him)

Varian

No! What? Uh... (wakes up from his nightmare) (table rattling) (sighs) (runs outside while Ruddiger is on his neck)

Quirin

Morning, son. (Varian sees his dad pushing a wheelbarrow of apples) (Ruddiger squeaks when he sees red rocks)

Varian

What is it, buddy? (asks his pet) (Ruddiger chittering then he climbs off Varian and runs down the steps) (Ruddiger sniffs, chitters then backs away scared) (Varian walks down the steps and sees the red rocks) Well... this is new. (Ruddiger chitters when he goes behind Varian)

Eugene

Welcome, one and all, to Corona's first talent show! Now, let's turn up the talent! (audience murmuring) (Vladimir holds a ceramic unicorn)

Vladimir

And now, we're gonna add some happy little eyeballs. (holds a paintbrush) There. (chuckle) This fella's got blue eyes.

Unicorns! (runs away screaming)

Old Lady Crowley

In my job, I fold a lot of laundry, so when I play cards, the last thing I'm gonna do... is fold! Laugh! (gasping, murmuring) (Eugene is worried) (curtain squeaking) (Catalina is the third act while Kiera announces)

Gather close, one and all, for the truly astounding feats the likes of which you have never seen before. Standing beside me today is a young woman, my sister. You know her as Catalina, but I know her as the eighth wonder of the world! A girl who possesses a singular talent that is, I guarantee, the most stupendous, the most eye-popping...

Eugene

Oh, no. (worried about Catalina turning into a werewolf)

The most fantastical spectacle ever to be witnessed! Feast your eyes upon the beast! (Catalina growling) (people gasping) (Catalina's outfit ripping) (Catalina growling) (Catalina howl) (people gasping and screaming then they are running away)

Catalina

But I didn't even get to my soft shoe routine!

Attila

Do, re, mi...

Lance

No, no, no! You're singing all wrong. Stand with your feet hip width apart, knees relaxed, so not raise your chin, it puts tension on your voice, and please breathe through your diaphragm. (red rocks crash) (people gasping) (Eugene gasps) (Monty and a lady gasping)

We're doomed, dommed! There's nowhere to hide! (gasps) (Eugene sees him running to the red rocks and touches them then he becomes frozen)

Lance

Attila! Ah, not like that! Like this! (Eugene turns around) Figaro, figaro You have to dig Through the belly! In through the nose. Figaro me Figaro you, figaro me Figaro her, figaro dog, figaro cat (Eugene walks to Lance and tells the latter that he is the final act)

Eugene

Lance. (pushes Attila away)

Lance

Huh, uh, what?

Eugene

I just figured out who's up next. You. You are gonna calm the people of Corona down by singing!

Lance

(laughing) What?

Eugene

They did it! (referring to Varian and Rapunzel)

Old Lady Crowley

So did you, Lance.

Lance

They love me. They really love me! (referring to the People of Corona) (crowd cheering) (Eugene claps)

Eugene

(looks at the ring then closes the box) Okay, Fitzherbert. Is today the day?

Old Lady Crowley

(gruff voice singing): I'm gonna be the girl who has everything.

Eugene

(clears throat) Uh, hey, Mrs. Crowley. You seem like a passionate soul well-versed in a delicate inner workings of the human heart.

Old Lady Crowley

Hmm.

Eugene

Right. So let me ask you. Do you think now it's the right time to propose?

Old Lady Crowley

You're not my type.

Eugene

The feeling's mutual.