Welcome, one and all, to Corona's first talent show! Now, let's turn up the talent! (audience murmuring) (Vladimir holds a ceramic unicorn)
And now, we're gonna add some happy little eyeballs. (holds a paintbrush) There. (chuckle) This fella's got blue eyes.
Unicorns! (runs away screaming)
In my job, I fold a lot of laundry, so when I play cards, the last thing I'm gonna do... is fold! Laugh! (gasping, murmuring) (Eugene is worried) (curtain squeaking) (Catalina is the third act while Kiera announces)
Gather close, one and all, for the truly astounding feats the likes of which you have never seen before. Standing beside me today is a young woman, my sister. You know her as Catalina, but I know her as the eighth wonder of the world! A girl who possesses a singular talent that is, I guarantee, the most stupendous, the most eye-popping...
Oh, no. (worried about Catalina turning into a werewolf)
The most fantastical spectacle ever to be witnessed! Feast your eyes upon the beast! (Catalina growling) (people gasping) (Catalina's outfit ripping) (Catalina growling) (Catalina howl) (people gasping and screaming then they are running away)
But I didn't even get to my soft shoe routine!
Do, re, mi...
No, no, no! You're singing all wrong. Stand with your feet hip width apart, knees relaxed, so not raise your chin, it puts tension on your voice, and please breathe through your diaphragm. (red rocks crash) (people gasping) (Eugene gasps) (Monty and a lady gasping)
We're doomed, dommed! There's nowhere to hide! (gasps) (Eugene sees him running to the red rocks and touches them then he becomes frozen)
Attila! Ah, not like that! Like this! (Eugene turns around) Figaro, figaro You have to dig Through the belly! In through the nose. Figaro me Figaro you, figaro me Figaro her, figaro dog, figaro cat (Eugene walks to Lance and tells the latter that he is the final act)
Lance. (pushes Attila away)
Huh, uh, what?
I just figured out who's up next. You. You are gonna calm the people of Corona down by singing!
(laughing) What?
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