Eugene Fitzherbert quotes from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Eugene

"Why do you want to be friends with Cassandra, anyway?"

Rapunzel

"Because she's real. Eugene, I just spent eighteen years with someone who lied to my face."

Lance

Last stop on our tour, the north balcony. Technically, the last stop is the royal kitchen, but I lost kitchen privileges after the last month's incident. Word to the wise, a meatball catapult may sound like a brillant idea in theory, but in practice... Well, it's a long story. Let's not talk about it, let's just move on. (red rocks rumbling) (people murmuring) (ground cracking) (red rocks rumbling) (old man screaming) Okay, biceps, let's do this! (tries to hold on to an old man that fell from the balcony) (yells) (Rapunzel sees and runs to save Lance, Pascal and an old man from falling) (Lance screaming) (Rapunzel unties her hair then she wraps her hair to the lampost and grunts to save Lance, Pascal and an old man) (Lance, Pascal and an old man fell into a pile of hay) Oh. Whoa! (laugh) (Pascal squeaks)

Rapunzel

I call that move, "the slingshot."

Lance

Give it up for Princess Rapunzel! (tells the people) (Lance, Pascal and townspeople are cheering for Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

Ah, just doing my part. (chuckles) (Eugene runs to Rapunzel and asks)

Eugene

Everybody okay?

Rapunzel

We're fine, but we have some new additions. (she and Eugene see the red rocks) (walks to the red rocks and puts her hand on it) Cassandra?

Rapunzel

It's up to you two to keep the people's spirits up. Remember, you can't let fear take hold of anyone for too long, or...

Eugene

Don't worry, sunshine, we'll think of something.

Lance

Yeah, with us two putting our heads together-- (scream) (Clown-spider laughing) Get away from me, Clown-spider! (he is screaming and running away) (Eugene catches the frozen Ruddiger after Lance tossed Varian's frozen pet into the air)

Eugene

Or I'll be thinking of something at the very least.

Eugene

Lance, I've got it! We are going to throw a talent show!

Lance

You wanna do a talent show? Now? (asks Eugene)

Eugene

Yes! Now is the perfect time for a talent show! Think about it. The production will be so entertaining, the people won't even remember to be scared.

Ah! Get away! No! (bumps into Eugene) (the boy runs away scared when Eugene sees him) (Eugene turns around and sees Nigel running away from his fear)

Nigel

Dragons! Dragons! (stops running) There are dragons everywhere! (he becomes frozen) (suspense music playing)

Eugene

And... our show's gotta start now.

Eugene

Welcome, one and all, to Corona's first talent show! Now, let's turn up the talent! (audience murmuring) (Vladimir holds a ceramic unicorn)

Vladimir

And now, we're gonna add some happy little eyeballs. (holds a paintbrush) There. (chuckle) This fella's got blue eyes.

Unicorns! (runs away screaming)

Old Lady Crowley

In my job, I fold a lot of laundry, so when I play cards, the last thing I'm gonna do... is fold! Laugh! (gasping, murmuring) (Eugene is worried) (curtain squeaking) (Catalina is the third act while Kiera announces)

Gather close, one and all, for the truly astounding feats the likes of which you have never seen before. Standing beside me today is a young woman, my sister. You know her as Catalina, but I know her as the eighth wonder of the world! A girl who possesses a singular talent that is, I guarantee, the most stupendous, the most eye-popping...

Eugene

Oh, no. (worried about Catalina turning into a werewolf)

The most fantastical spectacle ever to be witnessed! Feast your eyes upon the beast! (Catalina growling) (people gasping) (Catalina's outfit ripping) (Catalina growling) (Catalina howl) (people gasping and screaming then they are running away)

Catalina

But I didn't even get to my soft shoe routine!

Attila

Do, re, mi...

Lance

No, no, no! You're singing all wrong. Stand with your feet hip width apart, knees relaxed, so not raise your chin, it puts tension on your voice, and please breathe through your diaphragm. (red rocks crash) (people gasping) (Eugene gasps) (Monty and a lady gasping)

We're doomed, dommed! There's nowhere to hide! (gasps) (Eugene sees him running to the red rocks and touches them then he becomes frozen)

Lance

Attila! Ah, not like that! Like this! (Eugene turns around) Figaro, figaro You have to dig Through the belly! In through the nose. Figaro me Figaro you, figaro me Figaro her, figaro dog, figaro cat (Eugene walks to Lance and tells the latter that he is the final act)

Eugene

Lance. (pushes Attila away)

Lance

Huh, uh, what?

Eugene

I just figured out who's up next. You. You are gonna calm the people of Corona down by singing!

Lance

(laughing) What?

Lance! Time to sing in public, Lance!

Lance

(yelps) (backs away from his fear)

Oh, yes! Yes!

Lance

(whimpering)

Time to sing in front of all these people. (opens the curtains to push Lance on stage but he is scared) They're waiting on you, Lance!

Eugene

Come on, buddy. You've got this! I believe in you! (tells Lance) (Lance closes the curtains to tell his fear that he is brave) (Clown spider gasps)

Lance

You know what? I'm bigger than you. I'm bigger than you. (Clown spider whimpering) I'm bigger than my fear. Hm! (walks away to perform on stage) (Eugene clicks the switch of the spotlight to turn it on)

Eugene

They did it! (referring to Varian and Rapunzel)

Old Lady Crowley

So did you, Lance.

Lance

They love me. They really love me! (referring to the People of Corona) (crowd cheering) (Eugene claps)

Eugene

So Cass is attacking Corona now? Oh, that's delightful.

Rapunzel

She wasn't. (sigh) I don't know how to explain it, but when I touched the rocks, and stay with me on this, I sensed her. And she wasn't attacking us. She was just as afraid as we are. As I am. (tells Eugene about Cassandra)

Eugene

So then that means...

Rapunzel

There's still a chance to save her. (suspense music playing) (finish Eugene's sentence) (she and Eugene turn their heads towards each other then they hold hands)

Eugene

"You can change colors?"

Princess Rapunzel

"I've read about this. Dragons can adopt the attributes of someone they love. They can also share theirs as well. Pascal!! You have horns and wings! Twinsies!"

Rapunzel

(sighs) Okay, okay. Uh, what about this one?

King Frederic

Oh, that's your coronation, of course.

Rapunzel

Yes. (laughs) Ah, and this. Okay, this. What happened here?

King Frederic

Ah, that- That's when Eugene and I stole the royal seal of Equis. Oh. Seal! Seal! I get it now.

Rapunzel

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding! Right again. Yes!

King Frederic

I remember this.

Rapunzel

Yeah, it's when I broke through the wall.

King Frederic

(laughing): No. It's when I realized what a brave and independent woman you had become.

Rapunzel

It's good to have you back, Dad.

King Frederic

And I have you to thank for that, Rapunzel. Throughout this entire ordeal, never once have you strayed from our side. (hugs Rapunzel while Pascal squeaks) Family sticks together, right?

Rapunzel

Family sticks together. (chuckles)

Eugene

Can you believe the audacity of Lance? Not only did he borrow my moisturizer but he left the lid off. Now it's all dried out. (Owl hoots) (Rapunzel gasps) Guys, don't worry. I have a backup bottle.

Rapunzel

(opens the window) Oh. (runs to him) Owl, are you okay? Where have you been? Wait. Does this mean...? (Pascal squeaks and he puts a pillow under Owl's head) Where's Cass? (Owl drops a fruit from Tirapai Island)

Eugene

It's a pompoen.

Rapunzel

(sighs) Oh. Looks like we're going back to Tirapai Island.

Eugene

Blondie, do you really think Cass would go back to that island? I mean, with all the cursed idols, giant-breathing houseflies, and crazy-fished people? Actually, come to think of it, Cassandra is a pretty good fit for that place.

Rapunzel

This is our best lead so far. We haven't heard from her in months. And then suddenly Owl shows up with a fruit that can only be found on Tirapai Island? I would say that's a pretty good sign. At the very least, it'll be nice to see Alfons and the other Lorbs again.

Eugene

Oh, right. The little leaf guys who think they're superior to human beings. They are a delight. (hot air balloon whooshing)

Rapunzel

Hello?

Eugene

Little leaf people, hello? Well. Their little leaf people village looks empty. I was not expecting this qu- (white bird loud cawing) (Eugene gasps) (white bird caws) He did that on purpose. (Eugene walks to the village angrily while Owl is on his shoulder) (Rapunzel laughs and walks to the village) (white bird caws)

Rapunzel

Hello? Alfons? Okay. So, no Lorbs. It's the frienfloofers! Hello, is anyone, there? Anybody home? No? (Eugene picks up an empty bowl and a spoon) (Rapunzel and Eugene heard a rustling noise)

Eugene

Did you hear that?

Rapunzel

Yep. (a Lorb runs then stops to see Rapunzel, Eugene, Pascal and Owl on Tirapai Island)

Woop! (continues to run fast)

Rapunzel

Hey, wait! (runs after the Lorb alongside Eugene) Stop!

Whoa!

Rapunzel

Come back! (groans) We just have a few questions! (tries to ask the lorb questions) (Owl hoots)

Eugene

This little guy sure can move fast. And with such little legs. (Owl hooting) (Rapunzel and Eugene found the Lorb that ran faster than them)

(stops hiding behind a leaf) Ah! Don't hurt me, wild frienfloofers!

Rapunzel

Don't you recognize us?

Hmm. Eh, sorry. All frienfloofers look alike. Except the new one. (leaves)

Rapunzel

What? The new one? Could he mean...? Cass? (upbeat rhythmic music playing) (Lorbs exclaiming)

You can tell the new one apart by his mustache.

Rapunzel

Mustache? (Captain of the Guard humming while dancing with the Lorbs then the former stops dancing)

Princess? Fitzherbert! (Glad to see Rapunzel and Eugene again then dances towards them) What a surprise! (Eugene grunting) (The Captain of the Guards is picking Eugene and Rapunzel up to hug both of them and then stops hugging Eugene and Rapunzel) Join the party! (continues dancing)

Rapunzel

Captain? What are you doing here?

I think they call this one the Glaushsnuffer. (laughs) (pets a Lorb) Aren't these Lorb fellas great?

Eugene

No, not really. They treated us like pets.

Hmm. Didn't have that problem.

That's because we love his mustache.

Eugene

(laughs) His mustache? Really? That's the reason? Well, look, it's not my fault my face is perfectly suited to a goatee.

Rapunzel

Oh, I know, I know. No one's making fun of your perfectly sculpted face. But, Captain, really, what are you doing here? Xavier said you left Corona months ago to look for us.

I did. And I searched for you for a long time. After a while, word had traveled that you'd returned to Corona. And Cassandra had made other arrangements.

Rapunzel

Captain, I know how difficult this must be for you.

Difficult? No. See, that's what makes this island so great. Come. Come. I want you to meet someone. (Owl hoots then flies)

Little Cassandra

(turns around) Hi, Daddy!

Cassandra? (fire sizzling) (Rapunzel pants)

Rapunzel

But that's...

Cassandra. My daughter!

Eugene

Um... Captain, while she may look like Cassandra-

Little Cassandra

Can it, Fitzherbert!

Eugene

(laughs) And she certainly sounds like her. Uh, I can't help but think that you may have overlooked one small detail: She's four!

Little Cassandra

Daddy, watch me!

What is it, Cassandra?

Rapunzel

This must be why Owl brought us here. (Owl hooting)

Oh, what do we have here, little one?

Rapunzel

Captain, uh, a word, please. (Pascal shrieks and backs away after being frightened by the Little Cassandra) Captain, um... Where did she come from?

Uh, I understand your concern. At first I couldn't believe it, either. But now I think I can explain.

Eugene

Well, we're all ears.

I guess sometimes the universe simply hears your heart's desire.

Eugene

Well, that clears that up. Thanks.

And gives you a second chance.

It's time for shalpendoofen!

Oh, boy, shalpendoofen! (picks up Little Cassandra and puts her on the shoulder) They always win, but maybe today's our day. Right, Cass?

Little Cassandra

That's right, Daddy. (upbeat rhythmic music playing) (Lorbs singing, chattering) (Rapunzel and Pascal gasp when they see Little Cassandra doesn't have a shadow)

Eugene

She doesn't have a shadow? Now that is creepy. And normal Cass is creepy enough. So this little girl, what is she?

Rapunzel

I don't know. I don't know. But we do know there is dangerous magic on this island, so... we've got to figure out where she came from, before the captain or anyone gets hurt.

Eugene

Okay. So, what's our plan?

Rapunzel

Um, I need you and Owl to poke around and see what type of magic this could be. (Owl hooting then flies and lands on Eugene's shoulder) And more importantly, how to get rid of it. Meanwhile, Pascal and I will keep an eye on that... uh, whatever she is. There's no telling what kind of danger the captain could be in.

Eugene

Well, not sure if these mean anything, but maybe Rapunzel could help us make heads or tails out of them.

Oh, poor lost frienfloofer. Can I help you find your owner?

Eugene

No, see, I don't have an owner.

(yelling) Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! (calling for the other Lorbs)

Eugene

Is this a sign that I should go for a mustache? (Owl hoots)

Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! Stray frienfloofer! (Eugene runs away from the Lorbs before they capture him with a net while Owl flies) (Lorbs yelling when they chase Eugene while carrying nets to find him but he is revealed to be hanging onto a branch and Owl is on Eugene's hair then Eugene jumps down and hears a scream) (distant muffled grunting)

Eugene

Hello? Someone in here? (distant muffled grunting continues then Eugene enters the cave alongside Owl and they see Alfons) Huh?

Rapunzel

(Talking about Little Cassandra) Maybe she's not dangerous, Pascal. I know she's not Cass, but... look how they are. (Little Cass giggling) (the Captain of the Guard runs after Little Cassandra) (Pascal Squeals) If She's harmless, why should he have to lose her again?

Little Cassandra

Daddy! Daddy! Higher! (loves being lifted by the Captain of the Guard)

No one's going to harm, you little one. You're safe with me. (laughing with the Little Cassandra while Rapunzel and Pascal are watching them playing from a distance) (the Captain of the Guard carries the Little Cassandra while she sleeps then the former puts her inside one of the houses before going inside) Good night, Princess. (Eugene shows up and finds Rapunzel)

Eugene

Psst. Rapunzel.

Rapunzel

Eugene. Look, I am starting to think-

Eugene

Ba ba ba ba.

Rapunzel

What?

Eugene

You have to follow me. Now.

Ha! There he is! (the Lorbs found Eugene)

Eugene

And the faster the better. (Lorbs yelling) (Rapunzel runs alongside Eugene to the location where Alfons was tied up by the Captain of the Guard)