Captain of the Guards quotes from Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure

Meet the newest horse of the Royal Guard.

Ten fingers.

Stan

Captain, that means Eugene was-

Don't you dare finish that sentence! Now go!

Eugene

Ah, Blondie. Finally-- oh! (he and Cassandra see Sideburns and Patchy entering the cell)

Hello, Rider.

Eugene

That's unfortunate.

Cassandra

Friends of yours? (asks Eugene when referring to Sideburns and Patchy)

Eugene

Sideburns! Long time, no sneer! You look good! The moisture in the dungeon has done wonders for your leathery skin. Did you lose weight? (Patchy gives the halberd to Sideburns) Prison food, am I right? (Sideburns growls when he threatens Eugene with the halberd) (Eugene is scared) No, no I guess not. (Sideburns growling) (whistle blowing) (Sideburns and Patchy turn around when they heard a guard)

Huh?

The Stabbingtons' have escaped! (Sideburns and Patchy look at each other before abducting Eugene and Cassandra)

Guess we're gonna need a couple of human shields, if we wanna get outta here. (he and Patchy are walking towards Eugene and Cassandra)

Eugene

Ahh, thank goodness. Wait a minute. (grunts) (Patchy puts a bag on Eugene's head)

Cassandra

(groans) (Sideburns puts a bag on Cassandra's head)

Eugene

Let's rethink the sack thing, huh? (Sideburns and Patchy are running from the cell while carrying Eugene and Cassandra as hostages) It's wreaking havoc on my hair.

Cassandra

Nice, Eugene. (Sideburns and Patchy are running to the exit of the dungeon but they see the Captain of the Guards and the other guards)

Huh?

Hold it right there! Don't move. (tells Sideburns and Patchy and they put Cassandra and Eugene down and take the bag off their heads) Cassandra! (sees his adopted daughter and Eugene being abducted by Sideburns and Patchy)

Cassandra

Dad. (sees her adopted father)

Hmm, Dad. I'd call your men off if you know what's good for your precious daughter... Captain. (tells Cassandra's adopted father)

Rapunzel

I hear voices. (runs into the dungeon) Sounds like my plan worked! (sees that Sideburns and Patchy holding her friends captive) Cass! Eugene! How did this happen?

Stay back, Princess. (tells Rapunzel and tells his guards) Guards, lower your weapons. (Sideburns and Patchy are walking away with Cassandra and Eugene as their captives while Rapunzel, the Captain of the Guards, Pete, Stan and the other guards see this)

Eugene

It's okay, Blondie, I'm working on a plan. (tells Rapunzel)

Cassandra

Okay, Eugene, let's hear it. (tells him)

Eugene

Uh, I, I, I can't say it now, cause they can still hear us. (points to Patchy)

Rapunzel

Captain, they're getting away. (tells him while he watches the Stabbingtons walking away with Cassandra and Eugene as captives and leave) (suspenseful music) (the Captain of the Guards is mad when he sees his adopted daughter is abducted by Sideburns and Patchy)

Come on! (he, Pete, Stan and the other guards chase after Sideburns and Patchy then Rapunzel goes to the same direction) (he and his guards see a tunnel that Sideburns and Patchy crawl into with their captives then the Captain of the Guards, Pete and the other guards follow them via the tunnel)

Rapunzel

We'll never catch up to them. (stop running when she sees the tunnel ans sighs) Wait, but thanks to Cass, I know where the corridor empties. Come on, Pascal! (tells him) (goes to the other direction) (Sideburns and Patchy are being chased by the Captain of the Guards, Pete and the other guards)

Over here! They went this way. Hurry! (Sideburns runs ahead of Patchy but he stops when he hears the guards chasing him and Sideburns) (Patchy sees the side of the wall and puts his foot on it to make a barricade)

Eugene

Ho, hey! Probably not the best idea. (tells Patchy) (ceiling rumbling) (the guards are prevented from following Sideburns and Patchy)

Time to get rid of the extra baggage. (tells Patchy then Eugene and Cassandra are grunting when Sideburns and Patchy put their captives down) Say "Sayanara." (tells Eugene and Cassandra then Sideburns give the halberd to murder their captives but Sideburns stops his brother) (Patchy grunts) Actually, I just got a much better idea. (grabs Eugene by the vest and Eugene yelps) Let's snuff out Rider but keep the Captain's daughter as a bargaining chip. You sit there like a good, little girl. (tells Cassandra) This will just take a second.

Eugene

(yelps) (tries to run but Patchy prevents him from escaping)

Hey! Where do you think you're going? (Sideburns and Patchy grab Eugene then turns him around) (Sideburns and Patchy drop the halberd then Cassandra sees it on the floor then sees Sideburns and Patchy then the halberd again)

Eugene

Uhh...

We've got a little score to settle. (Eugene looks at the ceiling and distracts Sideburns and Patchy by talking to them)

Eugene

Guys, guys, hold on! You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Cassandra is useless. (muttering while backing away) Right there. I'm the princess' boyfriend. I come with a lot more leverage. (distracts Sideburns and Patchy)

It ain't about leverage with you, Rider. (Cassandra looks at the ceiling) It's about revenge. (Cassandra puts the halberd right under Sideburns and Patchy to knock them out) We've been waiting a long time for this. (Cassandra stands up) Say goodnight. (tells Eugene)

Cassandra

(clearing throat) (grunts) (kicks the halberd to make the ceiling drop onto Sideburns and Patchy) (ceiling rumbling under Sideburns and Patchy then they see it before it knocks them out)

Eugene

Now that's how you use a halberd.

Cassandra

Yep, it's all about the leverage. (agrees with Eugene) (hears the ceiling rumbling) (gasps and runs) Eugene! Come on, let's get outta here. (tries to run away from the debris alongside Eugene but they are trapped) (Eugene grunts) (Eugene and Cassandra panting as they sit on the floor)

Rapunzel

Equis? As in the kingdom next door, Equis?

Cassandra

Mm-hm.

Rapunzel

What's that got to do with my dad's statue? Why is it all messed up?

Your dad's lifetime rival, King Trevor of Equis, likes to play pranks on him. (tells Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

By just drawing a silly face on Dad's statue? (scoffs) I can't imagine any intelligent person finding this funny.

Eugene

(laughing) (clears throat) (Rapunzel, Cassandra and the Captain of the Guards look at him) (he smiles)

Anyway, King Trevor always manages to thoroughly embarrass your father.

Frederic

I can hear you, Captain. And yes, I am embarrassed. Embarrassed for him, really! The very idea of a grown man partaking in such infantile boobery!

Rapunzel

I still don't get it.

Cassandra

I'll explain later.

Frederic

Trevor has been trying to lure me into partaking in his shenanigans since our youth. Well, I won't partake! Do you hear me, Trevor! I won't partake! (crows cawing and they are flying away)

Frederic

I must partake! I can't take this embarrassment any longer! Ooh, I need a prank! I must show the people that, despite that sign's proclamations, Equis does not rule!

I agree, but how?

Frederic

Yes, how? By striking against that which he holds most dear! The very symbol of his land!

You mean, the Seal of Equis? But, Your Majesty, the castle of Equis is impenetrable. In fact, only one man has ever successfully infiltrated its defenses. And he-- (Eugene whistling when he walks by the throne room but he walks back to the entrance of it)

Eugene

You guys talkin' about me?

Eugene

(groans) (he and King Frederic smile at each other) Ahh.

Huh? (they see the archway has been painted by Rapunzel)

Eugene

Oh, my. (Rapunzel appears)

Rapunzel

Gotcha, Dad! (laughs) Oh, man, you should see the look on your face right now.

King Frederic

Well, I suppose it's fine. As long you girls repaint the archway. By nightfall. (tells Rapunzel and Cassandra)

Rapunzel

(laughs) Obviously, Dad.

Cassandra

Of course, Your Majesty. (King Frederic walks away) Well, Raps, you finally figured out this whole prank thing. (tells Rapunzel)

Rapunzel

Yes!

Cassandra

It was unexpected, clever, funny, and mischievous, but you overlooked one thing of the most important parts of any good prank. (points the archway) (tells Rapunzel) You didn't think it through. (tosses a paintbrush to Rapunzel) We both still have to repaint the archway by nightfall, remember? (Rapunzel gives her the paintbrush)

Rapunzel

Sorry, but I've got princess duties to attend to. Looks like you're gonna have to do all by yourself. Still believe I didn't think it through? (starts to walk away after telling Cassandra) (Cassandra pulls both of her sleeves up and puts the paintbrush inside the paint) (starts repainting the archway) Kidding! (returns to the archway after pranking Cassandra) (Cassandra drops the paintbrush after she is terrified then she picks it up) You just got pranked! (points to Cassandra) Ha-ha! I totally got you! You should've seen the look on your face! (puts her hand out)

Cassandra

I just got Rapunzelled. (gives Rapunzel the paintbrush to start repaint the archway) Well played, Raps. Very well played. (Eugene walks to the archway holding a paintbrush and a bucket of paint to help Cassandra and Rapunzel) (Cassandra holds her paint bucket while Eugene puts his paint bucket on the floor then he holds the paint bucket for Rapunzel)

Well, Your Majesty, did you do it? Did you get the seal? (asks King Frederic)

King Frederic

Unfortunately, no, Captain. However, Eugene came up with something far better. (tells the Captain of the Guards while walking away)

No, no, no! We'll need men here! We'll put guards here, and... Does this mean we're out of real guards, too?

Pete

Um...

Blasted! This exposition of science is just spreading our ranks too thin. (Maximus grunts) We need more guards!

Pete

(clears throat) (he sees Cassandra) (door closes) (Maximus grunts)

I'll need the room. (Pete, Stan and Maximus exit) So, you want your first guard assignment. We've talked about this, Cassandra. I just don't know that you're ready. (tells her)

Cassandra

Dad, I've been training with the guards since I was six. I know castle procedures and protocol better than anyone, so if there's any other reason why you feel I'm not ready besides me being your daughter, I'm all ears. (tells him)

Very well. But...

Cassandra

There's always a but.

Your lady-in-waiting duties come first. Only after you've finished those, including setting up for the expo, may you help. Are we clear?

Cassandra

Crystal. (Sees her long list of chores and groans)

Cassandra

I believe this was meant for you. (picks up the first prize ribbon from the ground then puts it on his apron and he smiles)

Varian

And, um, this was meant for you. (gives her a Cassandrium necklace then she wears the present)

Cassandra

Thanks. And, Varian, about putting my own ambition in front of our friendship, I'm sorry. (apologizing to him)

Varian

It's It's okay, Cassandra. (forgives her)

Cassandra

Hey, call me Cassie. (Varian smiles)

Varian

Well, I guess I should start cleaning this mess up.

Cassandra, you helped prevent what could've been a disaster for all of us. Well done. And I have another assignment for you.

Cassandra

You know what, Dad? I'm gonna set this aside for now. I think my friend needs my help.

Well, as Captain of the Guard, turning down an assignment doesn't bode well. But as your dad, I'm proud of you.

Eugene

Your majesty, Captain! May I present the Silent Strikers!

"They're...children?"

Wow! Captain! Figured that out by yourself, or did your ace detectives tipped you off?

"We can't send two children in jail. But, we can’t let those two criminals go either."

Princess Rapunzel

Maximus! What happened!? Are you okay!!? Where...? Maximus, where are my parents?

There's been accident on the mountain.

Princess Rapunzel

Accident?

Rapunzel, I think your parents are in grave danger.

Cassandra

Dad?

Princess, we had orders to take the scroll, to keep it from you.

Princess Rapunzel

Who? Who ordered you?

Cassandra

Answer her!

Your father.

Eugene

Why would your father wanna keep this from you?

Princess Rapunzel

I don't know. (firmly) But I'm gonna find out.

Our first priority is getting to bottom of who was responsible for this attack. (Rapunzel slams the doors open and the Captain of the Guard, King Frederic and Nigel see Rapunzel)

Princess Rapunzel

There's no question who's behind it. (enters the throne room) The question is... what was Varian after?

That boy is dangerous. And I assure you, he will pay dearly.

Princess Rapunzel

Listen, Dad. He is up to something. And we need to get the bottom--

We needn't do anything. The situation is being handled, Rapunzel.

Princess Rapunzel

You can see I might have a little trouble taking you at your word... Your Majesty.

Rapunzel. I know these past days have been... strained, to say the least, but... more important than any of our disagreements, more important than anything at all, is your safety. So in light of this vicious assault, it is with heavy heart that I make this decision. Until the threat of Varian has been neutralized, you are to remain under constant surveillance in the most secure room in the castle. (door thuds) (Rapunzel gasps) (tense music)

Rapunzel

(crying)

Mother Gothel

Hush, child! (tells infant Rapunzel to stop crying)

The princess! (Mother Gothel notices that she is chased and heads to the bridge near her cottage then she stops riding her horse)

Rapunzel

(crying) (Mother Gothel sees the infant Rapunzel) (horse neighing) (Mother Gothel turns around but sees the Captain and his guards coming) (Mother Gothel takes her horse and hides behind the rocks) (The Captain of the Guards and three of his men trying to find Mother Gothel) (Mother Gothel sees the Captain of the Guards and his men from behind the rocks)

The princess!

She went this way. (heads to the cottage with his men) (Little Cassandra hears the noise while she holds her music box)

Look around behind the back.

This way. (Little Cassandra turns around and climbs up to the window) (Cassandra and her younger self are seeing outside from the window)

Where is she? Where is the princess? (barges into the cottage with one of his men) (Cassandra and her younger self see the Captain of the Guards and his men inside the cottage to find Rapunzel) (Little Cassandra sees her mom outside on the other side of the bridge)

Rapunzel

(crying) (continues crying when Mother Gothel is holding her) (Little Cassandra feels down when her mom is abandoning her for Rapunzel)

Little Cassandra

Mama? (two guards are going to the other side of the bridge but Mother Gothel takes one of her swords to slice the bridge to prevent them from crossing) (Little Cassandra drops her music box and cries then Mother Gothel rides her horse to escape) (horse neighs) Mama...

No one's going to harm you, little one. You're safe with me. (puts his helmet on Little Cassandra and she is sobbing)

Little Cassandra

I... I want my mama. (the Captain of the Guards is taking her from the cottage) (Cassandra sees that her younger self is taken by the Captain of the Guards to adopt her as his daughter) (Cassandra sits on her knees and sees the music box) (Cass tries to hold the music box)

I'm sorry that happened to you, Cassandra. Sometimes the most painful truths are the most difficult to remember. (Cassandra cries) You've always felt outshined by Rapunzel, haven't you? And you always will, unless...

Cassandra

Unless?

Rapunzel

Hello?

Eugene

Little leaf people, hello? Well. Their little leaf people village looks empty. I was not expecting this qu- (white bird loud cawing) (Eugene gasps) (white bird caws) He did that on purpose. (Eugene walks to the village angrily while Owl is on his shoulder) (Rapunzel laughs and walks to the village) (white bird caws)

Rapunzel

Hello? Alfons? Okay. So, no Lorbs. It's the frienfloofers! Hello, is anyone, there? Anybody home? No? (Eugene picks up an empty bowl and a spoon) (Rapunzel and Eugene heard a rustling noise)

Eugene

Did you hear that?

Rapunzel

Yep. (a Lorb runs then stops to see Rapunzel, Eugene, Pascal and Owl on Tirapai Island)

Woop! (continues to run fast)

Rapunzel

Hey, wait! (runs after the Lorb alongside Eugene) Stop!

Whoa!

Rapunzel

Come back! (groans) We just have a few questions! (tries to ask the lorb questions) (Owl hoots)

Eugene

This little guy sure can move fast. And with such little legs. (Owl hooting) (Rapunzel and Eugene found the Lorb that ran faster than them)

(stops hiding behind a leaf) Ah! Don't hurt me, wild frienfloofers!

Rapunzel

Don't you recognize us?

Hmm. Eh, sorry. All frienfloofers look alike. Except the new one. (leaves)

Rapunzel

What? The new one? Could he mean...? Cass? (upbeat rhythmic music playing) (Lorbs exclaiming)

You can tell the new one apart by his mustache.

Rapunzel

Mustache? (Captain of the Guard humming while dancing with the Lorbs then the former stops dancing)

Princess? Fitzherbert! (Glad to see Rapunzel and Eugene again then dances towards them) What a surprise! (Eugene grunting) (The Captain of the Guards is picking Eugene and Rapunzel up to hug both of them and then stops hugging Eugene and Rapunzel) Join the party! (continues dancing)

Rapunzel

Captain? What are you doing here?

I think they call this one the Glaushsnuffer. (laughs) (pets a Lorb) Aren't these Lorb fellas great?

Eugene

No, not really. They treated us like pets.

Hmm. Didn't have that problem.

That's because we love his mustache.

Eugene

(laughs) His mustache? Really? That's the reason? Well, look, it's not my fault my face is perfectly suited to a goatee.

Rapunzel

Oh, I know, I know. No one's making fun of your perfectly sculpted face. But, Captain, really, what are you doing here? Xavier said you left Corona months ago to look for us.

I did. And I searched for you for a long time. After a while, word had traveled that you'd returned to Corona. And Cassandra had made other arrangements.

Rapunzel

Captain, I know how difficult this must be for you.

Difficult? No. See, that's what makes this island so great. Come. Come. I want you to meet someone. (Owl hoots then flies)

Little Cassandra

(turns around) Hi, Daddy!

Cassandra? (fire sizzling) (Rapunzel pants)

Rapunzel

But that's...

Cassandra. My daughter!

Eugene

Um... Captain, while she may look like Cassandra-

Little Cassandra

Can it, Fitzherbert!

Eugene

(laughs) And she certainly sounds like her. Uh, I can't help but think that you may have overlooked one small detail: She's four!

Little Cassandra

Daddy, watch me!

What is it, Cassandra?

Rapunzel

This must be why Owl brought us here. (Owl hooting)