Queer as Folk (US) quotes

Ben

I thought the gay gene provided us all with an innate ability to re-decorate, accessorize, and arrange flowers.

Michael

I think mine's recessive.

Justin

What's the matter? Are you scared?

Brian

[Laughing] Yeah, I'm incapacitated with fear...

Cody

Mind if I ask you a question, Pastor?

Please.

Cody

This book, you have to believe all of it, not just some of it, right?

That's right.

Cody

So, do you like shrimp?

Well, as a matter of fact I do.

Cody

Because in Leviticus, a few scriptures before that man lying with man is an abomination one, it also says it's an abomination to eat shellfish, and shrimp are shellfish, right?

What's your point, young man?

Cody

I believe the point is, if you can eat shrimp, we can eat cock.

Son, you need the Lord. You need to accept Jesus.

Cody

Oh, I accept Jesus. It's assholes like you, I have a problem with.

Ted

I'm Ted, I'm a crystal meth addict.

Hi Ted.

Ted

This is my sixth week of recovery. Uh, I guess it all started about a year ago or so, I was struggling with feelings of worthlessness and depression, no longer had the will to go on. So in a moment of despair I decided to try what-

Brian

Come on. I need you.

Ted

Jesus, Brian, can't you see I'm sharing?

Brian

[looks around at the group] It's nothing you haven't heard before. Did drugs, fucked around, hit bottom, regrets it deeply... Let's go.

Brian

You were fucking amazing.

Ted

Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn't I?

Brian

The way you were going at it... there was no stopping you.

Hunter

You guys don't have to whisper, I have 20/20 hearing.

Brian

I could think of so many more interesting things to do with my right hand.

Justin

Sounds like you have no shortage of targets.

Cody

I bet you have a few, too.

Debbie

Gratuitous man-sex is one thing, personally I don't mind it...

Michael

We know.

Debbie

But gratuitous violence, that's another story.

Ben

Actually, I don't consider it gratuitous. In fact, I'd argue that disturbing as these images may be, they are a legitimate expression of every gay man's outrage of being victimized and therefore can be justified as a passionate and uncompromising work of art.

Emmett

Careful Brian, you're dripping. I don't want any stains on the sofa.

Brian

Oh! Not yet anyway.

Brian

[To Michael] You wanna bite? And you can have some of my sandwich too...

Michael

I told Ben a lie. A big fat lie.

Brian

Okay... who'd you fuck?

Michael

No one.

Brian

Oh. Then make it quick.

Michael

I finished his book three days ago... but I told him I'm still reading it.

Brian

That's it? That's the big fat... no. A big fat lie is I won't cum in your mouth.

Emmett

Just don't cum on the sofa!

Brian

You're not running around the streets with a concealed weapon!

Justin

I told you-

Brian

-it's necessary, so that you and Cody can be the gay avengers?! Heroes of the resistance? Martyrs to the cause?

Justin

We're trying to stop violence before it happens!

Brian

By starting it?

Brian

I have no practical skills whatsoever in talking lesbians out of trees.