TV show quotes
She hit me! My mother fucking hit me!
She's always hitting you.
That's how she shows her affection.
I mean for real.
Well, what did Mikey do?
I don't wanna talk about it..... I told her she was pathetic for dating that fag-hating cop!
You know, if she keeps this up we're gonna have to take her honorary queer button away.
Where are her values? Her principles?
You know how it us when you want cock, they're the first things to go.
[talking to Michael about Debbie dating Horvath]
All your life you've been her little man and all of a sudden some big ol' dick pops up, threatens to take her away... you're hurt, you're angry... mad enough to kill.
One more word out of you and I'm throwing you out of the car... okay? even if it is yours.
[To Brian, when they're being pulled over by the police] Do you have anything on you?
Yeah, 16 pounds of cocaine and 24 ounces of heroin.
This is no time to be funny!
Who's being funny?
Are you aware you were speeding?
Oh, that must be why it felt like we were going so fast.
Michael!
You were doing 60 in a 35 mile zone.
Oh, what do you know, math. Give the officer a jelly doughnut.
Excuse me, sir?
Look, don't you have anything useful to do? Like arrest a murderer?
Jesus, what the hell are you doing?
Do you have a problem with police officer's sir?
Only one's that are boffing his mother.
Shut up, asshole.... just give me the goddamn ticket.
Aw, now he's done it.
Get out of the car, sir.
Now we're gonna get arrested.
What now, so you can work me over?
Oh, now we're going to jail.
[Stumbling out of the car drunk, to a police officer questioning the driver] Officer, I would be more than happy to drive these two gentlemen home...
I'm so disappointed.
I know, I fucked up!
I don't mean that. All the porno flicks I've seen that take place in prison always show these hot criminal types in heavy man-on-man action. Nothing like this.
Not exactly what I was hoping for either.
I wonder who I have to blow around here to get a triple non-fat latte? [Hunky officer walks in] If you say so.
We have an arrangement.
Home by 3 or my balls turn into pumpkins.
What are you two girls all giggly about? [Looks at the coaster Michael and Justin were drawing on] Okay, no more drugs for you.
The stuff we came up with is amazing. It's like we share the same brain!
You get it Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, he gets it Tuesday and Thursday?
When it comes to measuring wood, I'm an expert.
What kind of a dyke are you, you can't even handle a power tool!
Oh, go away and play with your son!
While you've still got your legs!
All work and no dick make Mikey and Sunshine dull boys.
[Michael and Justin stayed home to create their comic book]
It's more than just a comic book. There's nothing more sexual than the act of creation... it's the fucking greatest orgasm there is.
[To Debbie after being yelled at by Justin and Michael] Give me a minute between rounds, then you can have a go with me.
Article 14 in the Super-Mom-Handbook says no kicking assholes when they're down. They'd take away my halo.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Queer as Folk (US) pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
