Michael
She hit me! My mother fucking hit me!
Ted
She's always hitting you.
Brian
That's how she shows her affection.
Michael
I mean for real.
Brian
Well, what did Mikey do?
Michael
I don't wanna talk about it..... I told her she was pathetic for dating that fag-hating cop!
Ted
You know, if she keeps this up we're gonna have to take her honorary queer button away.
Michael
Where are her values? Her principles?
Brian
You know how it us when you want cock, they're the first things to go.
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