Graham Norton quotes from QI

David Mitchell

What a weird, unsettling thing to discover that would be, in the context of the credit crunch and everything, suddenly to discover that Rodney Bewes was immortal. Just imagine, on the news, them going: "And today it emerged that actor Rodney Bewes has been alive for as long as time."

Graham Norton

Given the things that we're talking about, or pretending to know what we're talking about, I actually really don't know who Rodney Bewes is.

Stephen Fry

I have to say, the whole point about QI, right, is that the rest of the world talks about cultural things, reality TV and pop stars and Rodney Bewes… and we talk about Leonardo. And what you've done [motions towards Graham] by coming on is we started - no, you actually. [turns to point at Alan] We started talking about Leonardo and we've arrived at Rodney Bewes! That's the wrong direction!

Graham Norton

I didn't even know who he was!

Stephen Fry

How old are you?

Graham Norton

[flirtatiously] How old do I look?

Alan Davies

[flirtatiously] How old do I feel?

David Mitchell

Just shows you the effect of this game, though. You ask a question, all four of us think: "That is something I definitely know the answer to, but I've been made so uncertain, and frightened about that, [motions behind himself - referring to the klaxon] that I'm not even willing to give my own age, name, or address".

Dara Ó Briain

How can it be a trap? How can this possibly be a trap? I AM thirty-seven. Look! [hits the buzzer - Dublin, Ó Briain] Thirty-seven! There we go. No points lost...

Dara Ó Briain

BUT THAT'S NOT WRONG!

David Mitchell

DON'T ACCEPT IT: YOU ARE!

Dara Ó Briain

I actually am!

Graham Norton

We should all do it.

David Mitchell

Yeah, alright. [hits the buzzer - Peterhouse, Mitchell] 34.

Stephen Fry

34, eh?

David Mitchell

34.

Stephen Fry

[to Graham] You don't want to do this, do you?

Graham Norton

No, I'll do it. [hits the buzzer - Cork, Norton] Graham Norton, 46.

Alan Davies

I'm not doing it...

Stephen Fry

Graham, would you like to read your joke?

Graham Norton

Okay, here we go. (He reads the joke and then looks up at Stephen.) Did you write this?

Stephen Fry

Are they good?

Graham Norton

It just sounds like something you might write. Knock knock.

Stephen Fry

Who’s there?

Graham Norton

To.

Stephen Fry

To who.

Graham Norton

To whom, surely.