Come on, let's hug it out.
I would rather learn to play the harp.
S6 E3This Episode Sucks
I have slowly, methodically, been building up a tolerance to chloroform over the last fifteen years.
Dear God, why?
For a night like this, Spencer.
I don't believe it. It must have been some other kind of chemical.
[Gus picks up a handkerchief, sniffs it, and immediately passes out]
Oh, great. Now we have to carry two guys out of here!
S6 E4The Amazing Psych-Man and Tap Man, Issue #2
You have to admit, he's done a better job than we have of slowing down the Caminos, and he's just one guy!
I'm just one guy! And I've solved more crimes than I can count. Because I have solved a lot of crimes, not just because I can't count very high.
Yes, but you have a supernatural psychic gift. The Mantis is solving crimes using his natural instincts and sharply honed abilities.
She's right Shawn. I mean, if you were a regular guy solving these crimes, that'd really be impressive. But everyone knows that you're psychic. I mean, it's really an unfair advantage.
Everyone stop what you're doing and only pay attention to me!
Nobody steals on The Catch.
S6 E5Dead Man's Curveball
I am something that you never were. I am a bona fide star in the class C municipal Santa Barbara Co-Ed Softball League, YOU SON OF A BITCH!
I'm not dressing up as that mascot again. That was humiliating.
Oh, come on, Gus. You killed it, man. Didn't you hear the crowd go nuts when you did The Worm?
That wasn't The Worm.
I'm sorry, The Centipede.
It wasn't The Centipede either. I was dealing with an itch on my stomach. I think that suit has fleas.
[Shawn has just accidentally ingested speed]
Why are you talking so fast?
Why are you hearing so slow?
IJIzzy Jackson
Listen, Shawn, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm on a bit of a hot streak of late. I don't want you coming in, messing with my swing. Because I have a tendency to over think things.
That surprises me.
[Gus is on the phone. Shawn is driving Gus's car, dressed in the Seabirds mascot costume]
Shawn, where are you, and where's my car?
I'll explain it all when I see you! I'm only a couple of minutes away.
What are you doing?
Driving around for a bit to make sure no one's following me. Your left blinker's out, by the way. Get this; I have some good news, and some bad news, and some good news. Here's the good: I know who killed Izzy.
What was the bad?
The killer may know I'm onto him.
And what was the other good?
He may think that me is actually you.
Wh- How is that good news?!
I meant good for me!
[Gus realizes someone is standing behind him, pointing a gun at him]
S6 E6Shawn Interrupted
[Laughing] Doctor! Burton Guster, Central Coast Pharmaceuticals. I'd love to talk to you about your psychotropic needs. Oh, my gosh. Are those Laker tickets in your pocket?
They tell me I got something called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But, uh, the truth is this lustrous hair and dimpled chin are merely chapter one. I'm a veritable cornucopia of high-octane maladies, such as outrageous intelligence syndrome. And a little obsessive successful disorder.
LMLavender McElroy
Goodness. I've never encountered a patient who suffers from so many diseases that don't exist.
Well, they, uh they exist where I come from.
LMLavender McElroy
And where is that?
The future.
I'm plenty sick, Wendell! Pill time, everybody! It's pill time! Pills, Come get your pills!
LMLavender McElroy
Orderly, restrain the patient.
Yes, ma'am.
You can't catch me, McElroy! I'm gonna keep doing this! I'm gonna keep drivin' around in circles until I get hungry! And then I'm gonna eat that fountain! I'm like the ice cream man except I have barbiturates! Ha!
Besides, the Doc said I could take these [mittens] off an hour ago.
Then why are you still wearing them?
The inner lining is so soft. I think it's Alpaca. Maybe baby muskrat. You gotta check this out.
I don't want to, Shawn.
You're gonna be sorry.
Fine. Wow, they are supple. Try it, Lassie.
Enough with the stupid mittens! They are quite soft...
Guys, I am getting some very strong psychic vibrations that we need to at least consider the possibility that Bernie is legitimately insane.
What?
[shakes his head]
Are you sensing something else?
No, no, just some water stuck in my ear from this morning's free swim.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.