I'm the cream in a crying sandwich.
S5 E15Dead Bear Walking
[to Lassiter's sister] Hello! I'm Shawn Spencer. This is my partner Radio Star. I'm afraid your video will kill him.
[Shawn is hiding a bear which is accused of murder]
Where's the bear, Shawn?
What would possibly make you believe I have any idea where this bear is?
Well, um, first off, someone called in a tip about a tiny blue car driving an enormous trailer down Mariposa. Secondly, I am dating you and I know when you're lying. And third, there are like three hundred packets of tartar sauce on the doorstep.
I appreciate your concern. I'm gonna start watching my cholesterol.
S5 E16Yang 3 in 2D
Meat Is Murder by The Smiths; 1984, Van Halen; both missing.
Are you sure?
Of course I'm sure; they're clearly in order.
Tears for Fears, Depeche Mode, Thompson Twins. What order were you using?
Sweetness.
Men Without Hats is sweeter than Echo & the Bunnymen?
YMr. Yang
More importantly, where are Devo and Talking Heads in all of this?
If I had to choose, I would die execution style, by firing squad.
First of all, no one's asking you to choose. And secondly, why that? It's brutal and violent.
I know. But I would select all my shooters personally. George Carlin. Abott, or Costello, or whoever the fat one was. Richard Pryor, Adam Brody, all the comedy greats. How funny would that be?
It wouldn't be. You'd be dead.
Why do you gotta take it to a dark place?
Uh, what is going inside the syringe?
...
Gus, do you really want to know?
Yes, Shawn. I'm very particular about what goes into my body.
It's probably safe to assume it's something lethal. Is that accurate?
A box of Mars Bars to you, Shawn.
...
Now to answer your question, Burton, what we have here is a little concoction I affectionately coined, The Last Kiss. One part cyanide, one part strychnine, two parts atropine, and just a shake--not stirred--of boat cleaner. And it's all for you.
That's not gonna work. I can't watch him die, you'll have to kill me first.
You must be outta your damn mind if you think I'm gonna sit here and die after watching you die with some ridiculous grin on your face because you're thinking of sopapillas, or that stupid scene from Summer School where the students all pretend to be dead. [to Yin] And do you have just the one needle? Do you plan on sterilizing in between uses?
Surely you can't be serious.
I don't know where all you've been, Shawn!
...
Only Burton gets the needle. I have something far more colorful in mind for you, Shawn.
Firing squad? Please say firing squad.
Why did you pick me in the first place?
Because you were pretty good. And you were interesting. You had a black sidekick and that felt fun.
I never loved you.
I know.
I'm trying to tell you that I would protect you.
And I would protect you right back.
S6 E1Shawn Rescues Darth Vader
Sorry I was too busy James Bonding it up in here.
What happened?
Do you want the good news or the bad news?
What do you think?
I am not your mother.
He didn't say that, Shawn. What's the bad news?
Drive!!
All right. Can I get out of here? I've just about solved this case.
ONE question.
If it will make you happy.
I think it will. [Pause] Are you psychic?
Excuse me?
Are you, Shawn Spencer, psychic?
[Everybody is silent, Shawn looks up toward his father for help.]
You're gonna have to answer that one, Shawn.
[Lassiter hooks up Shawn to a polygraph machine]
First question. What is your name?
There is a murderer on the loose.
That is not your name.
This kid has Matel Electronics Football 2! The one where you can throw passes! Suck it hyphens!
Partners do not lie to each other, because partners put their lives in each other's hands.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.