[Lassiter is wearing a fake beard]
Is that Lassiter? What died on his face?
S1 E6Weekend Warriors
[Shawn, Gus and Lassiter find one of the Civil War re-enactors with a very real bullet wound]
Either that guy is a phenomenal actor... or he's dead.
SSally
[Gus is wearing his Civil War uniform and plume] I think you look dashing. Personally I always loved the marching band.
RReceptionist
There is a Lt. Crunch here to see you.
Crunch?
[Shawn enters dressed in Civil War uniform]
Actually I've been promoted. It's Captain Crunch.
[Setting the inscription of a watch for his son]
"Love Dad"? Why don't you just put "kissy kissy"?
Why kill Sally? She's hot, they're friends.
And by the way, Dad, my birthday wasn't yesterday. It was...four months ago!
Yeah, well, after you were born it took you four months to smile at me. That's when the clock started tickin'.
Oh relax, I did some checking on Nelson Poe, nobody liked him, ever! And second of all...
What?
Dude, I don't have a "second of all"!
S1 E7Who Ya Gonna Call?
Good morning, detectives! Are we collecting donations for the policeman's ball?
We don't have balls.
I honestly have no response to that.
Need I remind you, Mr. Spencer, what happens when you interfere with a police investigation?
Uhh... the case gets solved?
When I asked her her name, Shawn, she said, "My name--"
[Shawn cuts in with a high pitched voice]
"My name is Wilting Flower, I died without knowing love. Will you be my friend?"
H-how did you know that? I never told that to anyone before!
I was Wilting Flower! Gus! I can't believe you fell for that!
AKAmy Kessler
He was drunk and pretended that she had him confused with someone else. He said his name was--get this--Martin Brody.
Martin Brody? [Pause] Roy Scheider's character from Jaws?
AKAmy Kessler
Yes. How did you know?
...I've seen Jaws.
Don't touch that, it's blood.
It's not blood.
Enjoy your hepatitis.
I have to get back to work.
Gus? The plot is thickening!
Shawn, I've already missed two days this week.
Oh, fine, fine, fine. I respect your wishes. Jerk chicken.
You know that's right.
[Shawn is now driving, and Gus is just waking up]
There he is.
What time is it?
Day time.
What happened?
Uh... I might have dropped six allergy pills in your Frosty while you were peeing.
S1 E8Shawn vs. The Red Phantom
You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.
Juliet, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.
Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]
Was that inappropriate? ...Felt ok.
This place is trashed.
Maybe Johnny Depp stopped by.
I'm sorry, did that joke just arrive in a time machine from 1992?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Psych pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.