Gus quotes from Psych

Shawn

We got serious business to attend to.

Henry

Serious business? You're going to an opening of a new cupcake store.

Gus

No, we're going to a closing of an old cupcake store.

Shawn

And then we're going to the opening of a new cupcake store.

Henry

Bring me back a red velvet.

Shawn

Gus, we may have a Children of the Corn situation happening here....Gus, drive, drive!

Gus

There're people around.

Shawn

Plow through them!

Gus

They're smiling.

Shawn

Fine, they'll die happy! Floor it!

Shawn

Okay. Make sure you water my plants thrice daily, but do not talk to them, because once they get started, they will not stop. Especially Jim.

Gus

Jim's the ficus?

Shawn

He is indeed.

Shawn

[Shawn answers his phone call with Gus] Well, it is about time!

Gus

Shawn, this is the fourth vacation you paid for on my credit card!

Shawn

How are my plants?

Gus

Is that her second slab?

Lassiter

I have never seen a woman eat ribs like that in my life except in caveman drawings.

Gus

Chelsea, it was a pleasure meeting you, but I need to head to Ojai to kill my best friend in the world.

Lassiter

And I need to help him bury the body.

Gus

A paper trail of deceit.

Shawn

Look, I was a victim here, too, man.

Gus

Shawn you robbed me. As far as I'm concerned, you're no different then the thieves who robbed you of the thing you robbed.

Get in the closet.

Tony

Oh, hell, no. You ain't gonna be talking me crazy, alright. We don't stuff ourselves in any tiny spaces, alright? That's where I draw the line!

Yeah, that's right! You're gonna have to shoot this man with all ten bullets if you want us to go in some damn closet!

Gus

Are you crazy, Drake?!

Gus

Who's the big scary dude?

Shawn

Gus, that's Carlton Lassiter. You should know this by now.

Gus

So do we go with Lassie or your dad?

Shawn

Worst. Options. Ever.

Shawn

Shawn Spencer. That is my partner Sh'Dynasty. It is spelled S-H, comma-to-the-top, dynasty.

"Comma-to-the-top"?

Gus

That's God's comma.

Gus

Shawn, when we were thrown out of here, what part of "banned for life" did you misinterpret?

Shawn

All of it.

Gus

Come on. Hug it out. Hug it out.

Lassiter

I would rather spend all day at the mall with McNab.

Gus

Dude, what happened?

Shawn

She knows.

Gus

You told her?

Shawn

It's worse. I didn't.

Gus

Dude, how're you doing?

Shawn

Well, they say I might have a mild concussion. And I wasn't able to go pick up Lassie's new dog from the rescue this morning. Oh, and get this, I might have a mild concussion.

Gus

Do you know who she is?

Shawn

No, she had no ID when I brought her in.

Gus

Spoke to Juliet yet?

Shawn

Huh. She must have her phone turned off, man. But you know, after a good night's sleep, I'm sure she's going to be over this whole breaking up with me thing. I know I am. I was thinking I would go, uh, Costanza on her, just pretend like it never happened.

Gus

That didn't even work for George Costanza.

Shawn

C'mon son, you know Georgie doesn't have what I've got.

Gus

A mild concussion?

Shawn

Hey, how did you hear about that?

Gus

Dude, you know I'm allergic to gold dust! Remember in grammar school, I had to sit at the gold-dust-free table?!

Shawn

I don't really remember grammar school, Gus. Ugh, my head hurts for some reason.