Shawn Spencer quotes from Psych

Shawn

Gus and I never know when to throw in the towel.

Gus

We're always ready for the next round.

Shawn

Ring the bell.

Gus

Ding, ding.

How did you know she was lying?

Shawn

I'm a psychic, Peters.

Gus

How did you know she was lying?

[in unison] She's a woman.

Shawn

We gotta do something to let them know they can trust us. Gus, give him the nod!

Gus

Shawn, the nod only works when it's me giving it to a brother behind the counter at Jamba Juice, not to an armed convict!

Shawn

[Craig tells them about thief Percy Dunn] Percy Dunn the lightning thief!

Gus

It's Percy Jackson, Shawn.

Shawn

I've heard it both ways.

Shawn

[Craig tells them about thief Percy Dunn] Percy Dunn the lightning thief!

Gus

No, that's Percy Jackson, Shawn.

Juliet

Shawn, hey!

Shawn

Heeeeeeeey! Jules!

Gus

Sometimes he over-enunciates when he gets uncomfortable.

Shawn

[over-enunciating] I do not.

Juliet

Are you asking me on a date beside this dead body?

Shawn

Yeah, but I figured it would be okay since it doesn't really smell.

Shawn

Look, there's a reason those books have sold almost 30 million copies, Gus.

Gus

Mostly to teenaged girls.

Shawn

And adult males who enjoy reading stories about vampire doctors and their disfunctional dating lives. You're one to talk, Mister "I bought Win a Date With Tad Hamilton on DVD.

Gus

There were 15 deleted scenes, Shawn. Fifteen!

Check out his resume.

Gus

He has a Masters in Psychology and Criminology from Harvard AND an MBA!

Shawn

Get outta here. He's got a Monkey Basketball League?

Shawn

Criminal profile, huh? Sounds like one of those job titles that only exist in cheesy TV shows.

No argument here. What is it that you do?

Shawn

I'm a psychic detective.

Juliet

Are you asking me out next to a dead person?

Shawn

Yes. But I thought it would be okay, since it doesn't really smell.

Gus

I told you that newspaper thing was a dumb idea.

Shawn

Are you at all serious? We just captured a dangerous international spy and you're hung up on the newspaper bit?

Gus

No. I'm hung up on the fact that you've been obsessed with this woman this whole time, she makes the ultimate move on you, and you shut her down. That makes no sense! Are you crazy?

Shawn

I know it doesn't make any sense. Maybe I am crazy. All I can tell you is that... just now, in that moment, all I could think about was Jules. I just can't wrap myself around the fact she's dating Declan. Actually, it's actually killing me.

Gus

Shawn, that is not fair.

Shawn

I know. I know it's not fair. And you're right. She likes this guy, who am I to stand in the way?

Gus

Exactly.

Shawn

You think I don't want her to be happy? I want her to be happy. But--serious Shawn moment here--I want to be happy too, and for some reason I can't imagine that happening without Juliet.

Shawn

Gus, don't be both Ashlee Simpson albums.

Gus

There were three Ashlee Simpson albums.

Shawn

That can't possibly be true.

Gus

Autobiography, Bittersweet--

Shawn

I will not do this with you right now!

Shawn

Can I just say what I came here to say? I have a motorcycle.

Juliet

Yes, you do.

Shawn

And you know what? It is the purest form of freedom that I have ever experienced. You zip through traffic, park anywhere, you certainly don't have to help anyone move. Easily the best purchase I have ever made and I have never regretted it, not for one minute.

Juliet

I get it, you love your motorcycle. Is there a point to this?

Shawn

Yes there's point. Point is, since I've met you (pause) I've been thinking about getting a car.

Juliet

You're not thinking something practical, or sensible....

Shawn

No, I'm not throwing in the towel altogether. (Shawn and Juliet in sweeping romantic kiss)

Juliet

You know what? Maybe now's not the time; I have a flight in an hour.

Shawn

Wait a minute, I have a room! A really nice one. Paid for by a convicted criminal.

Juliet

Why do you tell me these things?

Shawn

Full disclosure!