Shawn Spencer quotes from Psych

Shawn

Queen Nerfertitty.

Juliet

Nefertiti.

Shawn

I've heard it both ways.

Gus

You can talk all you want, but facts and logic will win out this time.

Shawn

Facts and logic are in the corner of the guy who thinks he's going to get his face melted off?

Henry

I've been leaving messages on your phone.

Shawn

Yeah, I sort of dropped my phone.

Henry

Well, what'd I tell you about taking care of your stuff?

Shawn

You know what, you're right. First my tricycle out in the yard, now this--I see a pattern developing here.

Shawn

Dude, he took that van!

The mummy?

Gus

Great, now we got a mummy on the loose and the son of a bitch knows how to drive stick?

Shawn

I don't think anyone's here.

Gus

How sure are you?

Shawn

Fairly to pretty damn.

Vick

What I have to say is very... Difficult.

Shawn

If this in anyway pertains to Lassiter's third testicle, I'm afraid we already know.

Vick

Mr. Spencer this is no time for jokes.

Shawn

[checks watch]

Gus

Paleo-Sleuth Shawn Spencer?

Shawn

I know.

Gus

I dug that thing up too!

Shawn

Gus, believe me, I was appalled by myself for a second, really, but then I noticed, look, they didn't forget you completely!

Gus

Where?

Shawn

There! Right there! At the "photo by" section.

Gus

That is "photo by BRUTON GASTER"!

Shawn

Well, I gave 'em the info when I was driving through a tunnel so that probably played a role.

Shawn

What is wrong with this flag?

Gus

Everything.

Shawn

Besides that.

Gus

The sign says "Do not touch", Shawn.

Shawn

[while taking off the sign] Not anymore!

Shawn

[after Haversham's dog jumps on the window] That dog is kind of an A-hole.

Gus

I think he sees something.

Shawn

Yeah, urine stains on my pants!

Shawn

Is that hot chocolate?

It's Dutch cocoa. Hadewych makes a pot for me each night before she leaves.

Shawn

I see. Mr. Haversham, in order to fully understand the connection that you have with this ghost, I will need to see what you see. Wear what you wear. Drink what you drink.

You're saying you'd like some hot chocolate?

Shawn

With marshmallows, please.

Shawn

Oh my God. This isn't a joke. You're really quitting Psych?

Gus

I am so sorry, Shawn.

Shawn

In a text message, no less?!

Gus

Shawn? What the heck are you doing here?

Shawn

I should ask you the same question.

Gus

I work here!

Shawn

I should ask you a different question.

Lassiter

[about his date] We met at the Santa Barbara Bowl at the Ravi Shankar concert last week, and she asked me out on a date.

Gus

Who goes to someone else's reunion when they barely even know them?

Shawn

Who goes to a Ravi Shankar concert?

Juliet

If Chief Vick knew I was running names for you guys, I'd lose my ass.

Shawn

We definitely don't want that to happen.