Shawn Spencer quotes from Psych

[to Gus] You are so sweet.

Shawn

Yep, he's sweet alright. His head is like a chocolate covered honeydew.

Gus

You can't get Indian blood from working in a casino, Shawn.

Shawn

Maybe you can't.

How the hell did you two get in here? You're coming with me.

Gus

I don't think so!

Shawn

[flashing badge] BAM! Say it with me: Vis-i-tors baaaadge!

Gus

Do something. I dare you!

I'll be watching you.

Shawn

We'll be gettin' watched!

Shawn

Dude! That rock is sprayed with arterial red!

Gus

Taste it.

Shawn

Dude, what is up with that? Every time I cut myself you were like "taste it, lick it, it'll make it feel better."

Gus

It will. Taste it.

Shawn

IT'S NOT MY BLOOD!

Shawn

Well, at least that gives us the "how". Now we just gotta figure out the "why", which reminds me, Gus, will you please get us those tickets for The Who?

Gus

Where?

Gus

He was a Hollywood guy. Used to write on Blossom. Decided Spanish soap operas were a better reflection of the human condition.

Shawn

Obviously, he didn't write the Blossom where she adopted a chimp and hit the road in an eighteen-wheeler.

She beat me up.

Gus

I hardly think there's a woman capable of that!

Shawn

Bea Arthur?

Gus

I stand corrected.

When you're done upstairs, can you go in the garage and get my nail gun?

Shawn

...QUE?

Gus

[about Shawn's acting in the telenovela] Okay, don't take this the wrong way, but... I think it lacks some passion.

Shawn

Passion...?

Gus

Yes.

Shawn

Do you have any idea how many pages we shot today? Eighty-three! And I'm getting by with the Spanish I learned from Charo on Love Boat.

Shawn

I'm Shawn. Those are things that my character, Chad, did. I play him on TV. It's Shawn. Shawny. Look into your boy's eyes: it's me, Papa. [puts his hand on Henry's shoulder]

Henry Spencer

[pushes Shawn's hand away] Don't be an idiot. I'm not one of your fans. I barely even like you.

Gus

Brazilian airport codes. How do you know that?

Shawn

I lived in an airport for a month, Gus.

Gus

That was Tom Hanks in The Terminal!

Shawn

Same difference.

Shawn

My God! Did you see who that was?

Gus

It's hard to see anything with someone's knee in your eye!

Shawn

It's your own knee!

Gus

Do not get up there and start winging it! That's not how we operate.

Shawn

Dude, where have you been for the last two years?

Henry

Should I take her to Crab Shack Willy's or The Third Wharf?

Shawn

Those can't possibly be real places.

I'm sorry. I can't let you guys in.

Shawn

We're on the VIP list. Perhaps you recognize us as the modeling team Black and Tan.

Last names?

Shawn

No last names. One of us is Black and one of us is Tan. Just check the list.

Wow. It's really you. Right this way, Tan.

Shawn

Excuse me? I'm Black. He's Tan. I can't believe you just made that assumption. You should be ashamed of yourself and your family.