Phil of the Future · Season 2
Phil (to Keely): What happened after we left advanced math? Are we busted? Does Hackett know it's me?
Nope. After Hackett called me a genius, he gave us independent study so we could each work on our own math problems. I figured out that if you punch in 07734 on a calculator and turn it upside down, it spells hello! (begins to laugh)
Mr. Hackett (to Keely): How could you know the answer to such a difficult mathematical equation?
I'm a good guesser.
That was no guess. The last student who guessed said, "corduroy."
(Phil and Keely enter an empty room)
Is everyone here?
Yes (flips on the lights)
(Keely looks around at the empty room)
We are now The Resistance. We keep everything secret and we figure out a way to break Pim down. Now the first thing we need is....
Code names! Yeah....
I was going to say we need a plan, but yeah, we can do code names. All right, we'll call you White Panther.
That is so me! Oh! And you can be Mr. Fuzzy Bear.
I give you a name like White Panther and I get Fuzzy Bear? I don't think so, call me....call me....Midnight Cobra.
Okay, okay. Midnight Whatever. Ha. (whispers) Fuzzy Bear.
All right, next question. "This debate hurls corn." That's not a question.
Keely (to Phil): It was fun being in the resistance. What else can we resist?
Uhh, how about "Fish Stick Friday" in the cafeteria?
Perfect! But we're going to need entirely new code names.
All right, but this time, I get to pick. All right, you can be Kitten Velor and I'll be Dash Unicorn.
(laughs) Okay.
Wait, wait, no....
Nope. Too late.
Dash Manly?
(Yawning Loudly) (Sniffs a shirt) Whoa! Hohh! That's not clean.
Good morning, Sweetheart. Breakfast is ready.
Mom, I'm not dressed!
(Laughing) Oh, Phil, I was there the day you popped out of your natal pod. You don't have anything i haven't seen already.
Yeah, except for the sign on the door that says "Please Knock."
Hey, Phil! That "Please Knock" sign is lookin' a little shabby. I'll touch it up for you as soon as i store these photon conduits.
Dad, Look. I know that space in the garage is a little tight right now, But why does my room have to become your storage closet?
Because the sign on Pim's door says "Keep Out Or Else," and i don't want to find out what "Or Else" means.
Well, I don't have room for all this junk.
This unit is not junk.
Be careful what you say around the time engine C.P.U. It's a little emotionally unstable right now.
This unit reads lips, you know. and this unit's going through a lot right now.
Well, if it's ok with everyone else in this family. I kinda find getting dressed a little bit of a private affair.
No Problem. I got some more stuff to bring up, anyway.
(Puts shirt over the unit)(Sighs) Nothing personal.
Nothing this unit hasn't seen already.
(Gasps) Pim! Do You Think This Is Funny?
Not yet...But it'll be hilarious on the front page of my blog.
Hey, Everybody, I'm thinkin' tonight's the night for game night.
Dad, You're still shy 20 large from last month's game of snakes and ladders, blood-sport edition.
Well, I have finally found a present-day game that i can win. It's called (Mispronouncing) Charad-Zah.
Ooh, charad-zah! Sounds fancy. We're gonna need some cheese.
It's not called charad-zah. It's called charades. All right? And if you don't mind, I'm gonna take a rain check.
Rain check. Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I haven't even lost yet.
Phil, It's game night. Don't you want to spend time with your family?
I think i spend enough time with you all in my room. You just walk in whenever you want. You store all your time machine junk in there, and you(Pim)...Live here. It--(Sighs) Don't get me wrong. All right? I love almost all of you, but i think what i really need is some privacy in my own room.
Sounds like your own room is about to blow a gasket.
Maybe i shouldn't have stored the hysterical fuel cells next to the self-propelled spark rods.
Yeah, that was probably a mistake.
My room!
You're not getting any privacy with that giant gaping hole in your floor. Tough break, Kid.
This is way too big to fix for the wizard. Maybe dad will lend me some of his future tools.
Are you kidding? My tools are calibrated for high-tech plastics and composites, not for wood and nails. They're extremely, extremely sensitive.
Oh. Little help, please?
Well, where am i gonna sleep?
You'll just have to bunk with Pim until we can get this fixed.
(Laughing)
That was a good one, Mom.
Yeah, way to cut the tension.
Oh...Oh, i'd rather live in the garage.
Well, i'm open to any better ideas.
I'd rather live in the garage.
Hey, I think that's a great--ly...Bad idea. Greatly bad.
I--I hate to say it, but i agree with your father. you are too young to be living in the garage.
I say it's high time to push him out of the nest and say, "Fly, Baby Bird! Spread those wings and make us proud."
I agree with your mother.
I haven't said anything yet.
Oh, it's just kind of a technicality, isn't it?
Mom, you just said phil is so young, he should live in the garage.
No...I Didn't.
Uh, that's what i heard.
I'm just sayin' i agree.
What's it gonna be, Mom?
Just...Until--
Yes! Thank You! Thank You!
The house...Is mine! All mine!
Pim! I've told you a hundred times if you're gonna disappear under cover of a smoke bomb, take it outside!
(Distantly) Sorry, Mom.
I really appreciate you makin' room for me, Curtis.
Uh...Uhh...Tsee-tonga.
What's the matter?
Newcomer not allowed live inside without first ceremony of king. Ah. (Chuckles)
Is this gonna take long?
Curtis must thank sun, earth wind. 3 days.
Can we speed it up a little?
Hmm...Ahh, we no thank wind. 2 minutes, Tops. Ceremony begin! Tseeaahhh...Tseee...Tonga!
Thank the wind! Thank the wind!
Um...Sun tonga! Tonga!
Wind very persnickety today.
Yeah.
Okay. Ha ha!
Where do i put my bags?
No, no! Not there! No! Not there. Just give Curtis.
Switch that make magic light here. Box that make magic picture...Here.
What's This?
Honor bar.
This is awesome!
Curtis run a few errands. Phil need anything?
No, no, i'm good.
Okay. Okay. Tsee tonga. Hey, Girlie.
Hey, Phil. I came...By to...See the new...
What do you think?
It's a garage.
I know! Isn't this the coolest place to live ever?
Yeah, if you're a car. (Chuckles)
I admit it's no swanky penthouse in the pickford swank district. You know, this is my chance to get free from under my parents!
You're right. I'm--I'm sorry. I think you can really do a lot with this place. and the first thing we're gonna do is throw you a garage-warming party.
(Sighs)
Feed me. Come on, Ma. I'm on empty.
I...Set 4 places for breakfast, but we only need (Tearfully) 3. Seems like only yesterday that phil ate breakfast here.
It was yesterday.
Remember the first day...Right after he moved out?
That's now. You're being nostalgic about now!
I know it's hard for you to understand, Pim. When you get older, you'll see that time really does fly.
Has anyone seen my Welder's helmet?
Not if dad's the pilot.
Lloyd, have you made any headway with the floor repair?
Sweetie, you're forgetting we don't live in the 22nd century, where you have everything you need with the press of a button. I'm gonna have to go out and find a place that specializes in hammers, nails, uh, paints, plaster. It's not like i can quit my job at the hardware store and then just...Wait a minute. I just thought of a place.
Bruno. Hey. Phil Diffy. How's the H.G. Wells star quarterback? Hey, congrats on winning the fingerbowl last week. Yeah. Listen, Keely and i are throwing a housewarming party at my place tonight. Uh, and, well, you're on the short list. Yeah. I--I got my own crib out back.
Hello! Bruno?! Bruno! Hey...I Gotta go. Curtis, i was on the phone.
Feet also on table. Where'd you learn manners? Barnyard?
I'm not the caveman here.
Could fool Curtis. Phil clothes. Oh, Phil, Phil. Now...Curtis clothes. Phil books...Curtis books. Curtis arrange by author...Then subject.
Are you finished?
Now we talk about throwing party without Curtis approval?
Okay. I just moved away from my mother. I don't need another one.
Then stop acting like child.
I am not a child. I'm a responsible adult...Like person, and i don't need your permission to throw a party.
In Curtis cave, you play by Curtis rules.
Okay, technically this isn't a cave. And even more technically, this cave is my garage!
Oh! Phil claim Curtis cave?!
Oh, you don't scare me.
Arrhh!
Okay. Okay. You scare me a little.
Phil! Great news.
What?
First of all, in the 21st century, there are these places called hardware stores. I work at one! Ha ha!
Your father found some present-day tools he can use to fix your floor. You'll be able to move back in no time.
Yeah.
What?!
I couldn't help but overhear.
Look, i don't want to move back in. I like it out here.
And i like him out here.
Phil, you are too young to be living in the garage.
When are you going to get it? I'm not a little kid anymore.
Barb, it's not gonna hurt to let Phil give it a shot.
Wait. Curtis no want to live in garage with Phil.
Then you can live in my room.
(Laughing) Yes!
Mmm...Curtis on board.
Well, ho-hold on. Hold on. Phil's bedroom floor isn't fixed yet. It's gonna take quite a while.
You got a lumber, floor joists, perhaps a plumb line?
Yeah.
Curtis solve problem right now.
Nice job.
Yeah.
I'm not crazy about the rug. (Gasps)
Uh, Curtis still have to sand it.
Great. Uh, Curtis can have my room, and i'll take the garage.
If you want to break a mother's heart!
Don't worry. I'm still your little boy...Barb.
Ohhh...My baby's come home.
Got to stop doing that every time i walk in the door, Barb. Mrs. Diffy? Mom?
Ah. A little snack for game night?
Actually, Dad...Mr. Diffy, Lloyd?
What? It's fun.
I...Am throwin' a little party at my place tonight.
Well, since you want to be, uh, treated as an adult...
"Bill For Food"? (Chuckles) Get this stuff cheaper at the store.
You're paying for convenience. That's why i located here. And while we're on the subject...
Gas...Electric...Water, internet?
Welcome to grown-up world. You get the gains, you get the pains.
(Chuckles) Very funny, Lloyd.
I have to admit...This place looks amazing. You'd never even know it's a garage.
Hupp, got it!
Hey...Bruno! And you brought your crew. Come on in, Bruno's crew.
Cool. You got your own place.
Yeah. Yeah. Would've been long ago, but, you know, parents couldn't bear to lose me. You can see their house from here.
Brought you a little housewarming. Some of Bruno's famous slaw.
It's...It's empty.
We got caught in traffic.
Congratulations on winning the teriyaki poll.
You know, Keely, uh...All we can really do is try. But when you try with a little umph, you get umph out of your try...Which makes triumph. (Chuckles)
That's right. Chew on that while i chew on this.
All right, Everbody, just relax. I'll handle this...And, Bruno, that--that's me, not Keely.
Sorry.
That's still me. Lloyd, you turned off the electricity in the garage.
Sorry, Phil, but you didn't pay your bill.
But we just got this party started. Can't you wait to turn off the electricity till later, like, when i go to sleep?
Sure...In kid world, but this is adult world, where electricity goes off when you don't pay your bills.
Phil, everybody's gonna head home! I mean...What can a bunch of teenagers do in a garage in the dark with no parental supervision?
You're right. All right. Well, thanks for comin'.
F.Y.I...The slaw container's not dishwasher-safe, so if you could just give it a quick little rinse-ski...that'd be good.
I'm gonna head home, too. Happy garage.
Phil. Why don't you come in the house for dinner and game night? You can be on my team for (Mispronouncing) Charades!
That is my home, and that's where i'm staying. I don't need electricity, and i don't need you!
Can you at least keep the electricity on until i get to the couch? Thank you.
Curtis. It was so nice of you to cook tonight.
Thanks, Mom.
And delicious! What was this? Beef? Pork? Chicken?
Uh...Just say...Not fast runner.
Oh.
There are so many things i like about Curtis. He's not Phil, he was no Phil-like qualities, and, unlike Phil, he's someone other than Phil.
Oh! Curtis like Pim, too. Pim pretty...And smart.
Thank you, Curtis.
Pim good digger, too.
That's enough, Curtis.
Digger?
Curtis find excellent tunnels from Pim's room to back fence. Uh, main tunnel, side tunnel, emergency tunnel--
Zip it, Curtis!
Tunnels?
Pim very thoughtful, too. Only use dead of night so not wake up Barb and Lloyd.
You...Are grounded. 2 weeks for every tunnel you made.
And we mean above-grounded.
You knuckle-dragging yaboo!
Nrrahh!
Enough! We are all gonna join in a rousing game of (Mispronouncing) Charades and have a jolly old time. Okay? Do i make myself clear?
Yes, Dad.
Honey, how can we have game night without the whole family?
I've already asked Phil, honey, and he'd rather be in his garage. he loves it there.
Um...Oh...Oh! Oh! Ooh...Oh! Romeo and Juliet!
Yeah!
Yes!
Yay! The score--Curtis and Pim, zip, the almighty megalatrons, 3!
You'd think someone who could barely talk would be better at this game.
Ooh, Curtis cut in 2 by Pim wit.
Pim, your turn.
Here we go. Ha ha!
Focus! 3 word! Last word. Run! Leave! Go! Uh, Pim go! Pim dig! Oh. Pim dig tunnel and leave house! Bad Pim. Pim grounded.
That's it! You're done!
Pim, down!
Pim no scare Curtis.
Rahrr!
Okay, Pim scare Curtis a little.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Phil of the Future pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
