Sophie quotes from Peep Show

Mark

Come on Soph, you... you're worried about the caterers, aren't you? Not everyone will go for the tuna.

Sophie

I just feel terrible, I feel like I've been shot in the stomach.

Mark

Don't say that, Sophs! It's done now, we... we're over the hump.

Sophie

The hump! Our wedding the hump. [to driver] Stop the car! I just want to go and scrub it all out!

Mark

It's not that easy Soph, that - that was the Church of England marriage service, not applying for a Nectar card

Sophie

Whatever - divorce, annullment, I - I can't - this isn't what I want! [gets out of the car] He's horrible! I- [breaks down completely]

Mark

(That's it. I'm alone. Tomorrow morning I'll wake up in my bed alone. Unless... I hire a prostitute. Just for the night. Kind of like a wedding present?)

[from outside] You okay, man?

Mark

Me? Yeah, good... no... feeling pretty good.

Do you want some... company?

Mark

That'd be nice.

Mark

You know you really do smell quite strongly of piss.

Yes, and your hat and shoe smell of puke, so I guess neither of us are exactly the king, are we?

Mark

So... what now, back to the flat?

[to driver] Drive on!

Mark

So, Nancy, did she not show up?

No, she did ... with Super Hans, so that's nice. I think I might divorce her, see how she likes that.

Mark

Well, I suppose I should apologize for not letting you go and get her.

Yeah, I was pretty pissed off about that. But, I was thinking of waiting for a bit before I brought it up.

Mark

Oh, that's nice. Thanks man.

It's fine. I'll just chuck it in with all my other moldering resentments.

Mark

Exactly. Stick it on the bill.

Mark

Hi Soph, how are you? How are you feeling?

Sophie

Well... I want to give things another go.

Mark

You... you do?

Sophie

No, of course I fucking don't!

Sophie

I've actually, I've got some news. Big news.

Mark

Oh yes? (Please don't say you're pregnant. Please don't say you're pregnant.)

Sophie

I'm pregnant.

Mark

(FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!) [Calmly] Right, you're pregnant. Of course.

Sophie

I did three home tests last night and they were all positive.

Mark

Only three?

Sophie

One small spritzer, half a unit. Should I have got written permission?

Mark

Listen to her, she's exaggerating for comic effect!

Sophie

Obviously it would be really great if you were happy but it's not the most pressing thing.

Mark

No... no, of course not.

Sophie

When our child looks up at you, I want them to see a happy, contented role model - not some grey faced, dull eyed drone who's hated his job and his life for years.

Mark

(Must ring Dad.)

Mark

Sophie? Jeff says the baby's a boybe. Is it a boybe?

Sophie

Yes!

Mark

Right... almost makes it seem real.

Sophie

Well it is real.

Mark

Of course. (Totally doesn't feel real. maybe 1% more real now)

Sophie

I've been thinking about names, have you been thinking about names?

Mark

Soph, it's early doors yet, we've a month and some weeks to go (I can get to Argentina in a month. Argentina and a face transplant?)

Sophie

I was thinking 'Tarquin Oliver Nimrod'.

Sophie

What would you call him? Mark? Mark Mark Corrigan III?

Mark

No! Of course not, something... normal.

Sophie

What's normal?

Mark

I dunno.. Bruce, or something.

Sophie

Bruce!?

Mark

No, not Bruce.

Sophie

Did you just say Bruce?

Mark

No, I didn't mean Bruce, just a name in that area.

Sophie

Little Bruce?

Mark

No, not Bruce. Just a name like Bruce, not even that much like Bruce!

Sophie

Aaaaaargh! Bastard, bastard, fat bastard!

Mark

(Is that for me or just general bastarding?)

Sophie

Oh, fuck off, fuck off!

Mark

(If she keeps saying "fuck off", I might fuck off. That's got to be within your rights, to fuck off if someone repeatedly screams at you to fuck off.)