Jeremy quotes from Peep Show

Jeremy

About Stu (He's a monk, he's gonna have fifteen years of spunk backed up. How am I supposed to compete with that?)

Jeremy

Yeah. Take that Stu, you lump of monk. God didn't protect you from my big fist.

Jeremy

(God I must look so cool to her, like Pete Doherty or Bukowski. Yeah, that's right honey, I'm a street fighting man. God she's probably getting wet just looking at me.) Hold your horses honey, I've got coupons for the Pringles.

Jeremy

Do you really think if you give her back those papers, she's going to let you screw her?

Jeremy

Your dream is just everybody, grey, on the omnibus, eating grey sludge. That's your dream isn't it?

Jeremy

Mark, we're out with a man who has guns! You're chucking his daughter and I've shagged his wife. Tonight is going, if a bit weird, extremely fucking well for us.

Jeremy

You're disgusting. But I like it. Like going to a strip club with the Pope.

Jeremy

It's just a hairy turkey!

Jeremy

"Mummy" was probably the turkey's nickname. ... It could easily be!

Jeremy

Mark we're in the middle of the road you're gonna get us killed for the sake of your legacy. Stop it! You're not fucking Blair!

Jeremy

Wow, we've finally met the man. And the man is a woman. And he's hot!

Jeremy

Wow, this is definitely happening. Okay, got to focus. It's very important for my future career development that I give my manager an orgasm.

Jeremy

There's like a 1 per cent chance the whole Jesus thing is true. In which case I'll have something to pull out of the bag on Judgement Day.

Jeremy

Mark, just because today was the first time you have ever, ever, EVER successfully arranged a date with a woman, does not suddenly make you Alfie, OK?

Mark

Jeremy, what is Super Hans doing?

Jeremy

[observes Super Hans] He's honking on his crackpipe.

Mark

Crack! Jeremy! I have company!

Jeremy

Relax Mark, everyone does drugs nowadays. "Look at Me, I'm Mark. I'm dying on a street in an Advert in the 80s."