Toni quotes from Peep Show

Toni

I tell you, you find out who your real friends are when you set fire to Hampton Court maze because you can't take any more of your husband's shit.

Mark

What does your sister do?

Toni

Not much. She's got leukaemia.

Mark

(That's what you get for trying to flirt.)

Mark

That's terrible. I'm so sorry. I suppose... I mean, at least it's not cancer.

Toni

It's a form of cancer.

Mark

Man. That's terrible. My gran... died of cancer. Although, hopefully, your sister... won't. Obviously. Listen, let's talk about something else. Something fun.

Mark

See, by the winter of 42, the whole city was surrounded by the massed 6th army, it was pressing and pressing, the Russians couldn't hold on much longer, many wanted to submit...

Toni

Mark, you know I just don't bang anyone, yeah. I'm not some kind of next-door fuck jar.

Mark

No, no, of course not, what I mean is that the German supply lines were stretched, Zhukov countered and the siege was broken. And that's the story of Stalingrad.

Toni

So, what you're saying is, these products are essential? The kind of products no one could do without?

Well... You're kind of making me say that.

[Eating chicken wings] (This should be in the bag. Why isn't this in the bag? She looks like she hates me.) [Toni looks on in disgust]

What? It's eat as much as you can.

Toni

No, it's eat as much as you'd like. There's no competitive element involved.

At 3.99, I think I know who's winning.