[Leslie is giving Ron two thumbs up]
Ron guess why my thumbs are up!
Because I am giving you my 100% approval about Diane. She is perfect for you! She gets you! She is at the bar right now ordering a Lagavulin neat, for you! I mean she's even putting up with all this stupid, boring woodworking stuff!
[Everyone around them looks offended]
I'm sorry but you know it's not the Superbowl guys, let's take it down a notch. Anyway, you have my approval.
I don't need your approval.
This could end up being the best night in Ron Swanson's life! I am so so happy for him-
[Tammy Two walks in]
Hello you gorgeous craftsman! Wow look at this room! So much wood ready to be worked.
Alert! Alert ! Alert! Alert!
Oh hey Ron! What a coincidence! Gosh I never dreamed you'd be here!
Tammy, this is Diane. Diane this is a piece of human garbage named Tammy who is also my ex-wife.
Twice ex-wife! We were married twice.
And divorced twice! Everything is done, they're totally done! Tammy! What are you doing here?
Oh I just have a little something I need to get drilled.
Well Well Well, You want to come in to Jerry's party. And why is that?
I need a place to deliver this baby Ann! It's coming out of me right now! I'm pregnant!
This is a lovely party, thrown by a lovely man and his lovely family. There's no place for meanies.
Oh forget it I'm coming in.
[April tries to get in but Ann holds her off with ease]
You're so weak! Really? I mean I'm barely even doing anything. Are you iron deficient? Let me look at your pulse.
It's because of your man strength! Mann Perkins.
Let us in Ann it's cold outside and I can't wear mittens because they're unflattering to my hands!
Sorry guys. This is your penance. You can come in if you do something nice for Jerry.
Hey! I already did something nice for Jerry. I drove here to take him to Jerry Dinner.
Aww Donna! You can come in.
Oh okay! [walks inside while the others protest] He He He He! Merry Christmas Bitches!
Oh my gosh what a coinkidinky! Look we're sitting at the same table!
Tammy, this table is reserved.
A guy traded me his seat for a peek and a squeeze. That's my boob and my butt respectively. Remember that Ron?
Well hello again. You ready to be nice to Jerry? Because it's so cold out here it reminds me of my wife's lasagna!
...I actually like that one.
And to my wife Rihanna! We truly did find love in a hopeless place
Anything that can be penis shaped, will be penis shaped!
I can't keep referring to basketball players as Khloe Kardashian's husband and his friends.
You know what? I think men are better than women.
No I'm not. they provide for us and we must obey them because they are our masters.
Leslie, you'll never land a beau with that domineering tone.
Girls this is Ann. Talk to Ann, she's terrific.
...Hey dudettes! You stoked about the weekend...no. Oh! Look at this pwetty pwetty wittle bead.
I don't know. I'm weird with kids. So...you guys like Coldplay?
Okay. Thanks. [walks away]
But it was actually a blood-hungry witch who was wearing their mom's face like a mask!
ZI Zoey & Ivy
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
Hahaha! What is wrong with you woman?
Sorry I thought kids liked ghost stories!
Woo! April let's finish up! We have some stereotypes to overcome.
And some privacy to violate!
You are officially a baller.
I've been a baller since birth, son. Now, I'm an athlete.
Jerry. I never thought I would say this, but I am so glad you're here.
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These quotes come from Wikiquote's Parks and Recreation pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License .
