Marlene quotes from Only Fools and Horses

Marlene

Did you have a nice Christmas?

Del

Oh, terrific, yeah.

Marlene

I had a dog.

Rodney

Yeah? We had a turkey, same as every other year.

Marlene

We could say it's a throwback.

Boycie

for gawd sake Marlene!I might be able to con people into buying my cars, I might be able to convince them that you conceived and gave birth in seven days flat, but how the hell am I going to persuade them my grandad was Louis Armstrong?!?

Marlene

I didn't know Rodney's middle name was Charlton.

Del

Oh yeah, it was me mum. She was a fan.

Marlene

Oh what, Charlton Heston?

Del

No, Charlton Athletic.

Boycie

Everything was going well, we were having a lovely holiday...

Marlene

(cuts in) Shut up moaning.

Boycie

And then THEY (the Trotter brothers) turn up! And within fifteen seconds some sod's shootin' at us!

Marlene

You've done nothing but moan ever since we left Washington!

Boycie

Get that bloody boat in for God's sake!