Sean quotes from Nip/Tuck

Christian

I'm taking Carly to the Ivy.

Sean

[referring to Wilbur] Did you call a sitter?

Christian

No, but you're not doing anything. Come on, it's business.

Sean

I thought you turned down her surgery.

Christian

I did turn down her surgery and now I need to turn her on. We're not going to get anywhere in this town by giving Carly Summers a little Botox. She needs a face-lift, a tit job and whatever else I can seduce her into getting. Good plan, huh?

Sean

How about I take the Hollywood star out to dinner and you stay home with your son? I'll do the convincing.

Christian

Because I'm the charismatic salesman and you're the talent. That's the way it's always been.

Sean

That's exactly why I left Miami.

Sean

Sounds like living the dream has its price.

Of course it does. Eat your young on a regular basis, what do you expect? All day long, I'm the one with the control, the power. Once a week, Mistress Dark Pain takes it all away from me. Sometimes twice a week during Oscar season. Every bite somehow restores the balance. Keeps me real, you know?

Christian

Julia called yesterday and said she's moving in with someone.

Sean

Well that's great. She's seeing someone, I'm seeing someone.

Christian

Since when you're seeing someone?!

Sean

I'm having a little fling with somebody on the show, an actress.

Christian

Well there's a bit of a difference here. You're not moving in with your current piece of ass!

Sean

Yet!

Sean

Just say it; you're thinking she wouldn't be a lesbian if she'd been married to you. That I must be such a lousy lay that my wife went from dwarf humping to carpet munching.

Sean

It's not funny.

Christian

I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at us. I mean, it is funny. After all these years, Julia was the reason for our 'who's got the biggest dick contest'. Now we find out, she doesn't even like 'em.

Dr. McNamara, Dr. Troy, I want you to take 15 seconds and write down everything you can think of to describe your partner. The first things that come to mind. Go. [The partners scribble]

Dr. McNamara, why don't you go first?

Sean

"Tall, arrogant, peacock, womanizer, clothes whore, damaged, dangerous, asshole."

Dr. Troy, do you have anything you'd wish to say?

Christian

Well it's kind of hard to argue with any of those.