What are you? Leg man, ass man, tit man...?
Tit man, why?
(unbuttoning her shirt) Mommy issues. You should know.
“Joyce & Sharon Monroe” · Season 5, Episode 2
In this episode: Christian Troy (5), Sean (2), Fiona (2)
You're right. I'm an asshole.
The town's full of assholes. What makes you special?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
You have a daughter? That is fantastic. What about daddy? You pull him out of the drawer for Thanksgiving to baste the turkey?
OOlivia
She was conceived in my college dorm the good, old-fashioned way by adding two hard bodies, a quart of rum and stirring.
Very kinky. Where's papa now?
OOlivia
Where do you think? After he impregnated me, I bit off his head.
Julia called yesterday and said she's moving in with someone.
Well that's great. She's seeing someone, I'm seeing someone.
Since when you're seeing someone?!
I'm having a little fling with somebody on the show, an actress.
Well there's a bit of a difference here. You're not moving in with your current piece of ass!
Yet!
Just say it; you're thinking she wouldn't be a lesbian if she'd been married to you. That I must be such a lousy lay that my wife went from dwarf humping to carpet munching.
[Christian laughs]
It's not funny.
I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing at us. I mean, it is funny. After all these years, Julia was the reason for our 'who's got the biggest dick contest'. Now we find out, she doesn't even like 'em.
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