Judge Drayton quotes from Night Court

Christine

Uh, excuse me sir, about my client...

Oh, right. Hang him.

Christine

He stole an Eskimo Pie, sir.

There was this girl. 17, beautiful girl, dark complexion, dark hair, and a welt under her eye where her husband had hit her. She was pregnant for the third time, I think. And the DA said they lived in a rat-infested place on the Lower East Side. She said she wanted her husband to stop hitting her. And as soon as I indicated that I'd send him to jail, zip! She changed her testimony, said she was lying! She didn't want her husband to go to jail! He brought home money so the family could eat! All she wanted was for him to stop hitting her! Well, Harry, I can't make him stop! IN 25 YEARS, I'VE NEVER MADE ANYBODY STOP!

Harry

I'm sorry.

God's in his heaven... but all's not quite right in the world.

Am I sick, Harry?

Harry

Maybe a little. But mostly, I'd say you're real, real tired.

[laughing softly] Ho-ho, tired... oh, I could sleep for a million years. If the bed they strap me down to is comfortable, I probably will.