No matter how far technology advances it's still just a bunch of wires connected to other wires.
So what's wrong with it?
I can't seem to find any wires.
S3 E24Space
S4 E1Jumper
I'm rewiring the phones for speed-dial, so like, if you have to call 911 you don't have to push a whole lot of buttons.
What exactly do scissors help you be prepared for?
MMike
In case I get arrested, to cut the handcuffs.
Handcuffs are made of steel.
MMike
So are scissors!!
S4 E2Planbee
[on making the station more productive]
No, Plan A was a bust. I'd like you all to meet...Plan B.
AAndrea
Hi, everyone.
Planbee...what an interesting name...
AAndrea
Call me Andrea.
Nice to meet you, Andrea Planbee.
Dave, please. You don't drop a piranha in a kiddie pool and then stick around to watch the bubbles.
S4 E3The Public Domain
What kind of job are you lined up for, anyway?
I'm working on an act.
I thought your whole life was an act.
Why is it that everyone's solution to everything around here is some sort of covert plan?
That's a secret.
S4 E4Super Karate Monkey Death Car
Did you commit any crimes that weren't SAT related?
I broke into a library.
To vandalize it?
No, I had a big history test and the only copy of the Federalist Papers I had at home was abridged.
Dave, when am I getting my job back? 'Cuz, I am going stir crazy.
You have to have patience, Matthew. I'm doing everything I can.
Well, I'm doing my part.
I know. Unfortunately, that is precisely why you were fired in the first place.
RReporter
What did you mean when you said, "Feel my scales donkey donkey donkey donkey donkey?"
S4 E5French Diplomacy
Is it getting chilly in here, or are you wearing an anatomically correct bra?
I've got so many lawyers lined up to see me, you'd think I had tobacco leaking outta my breast implants.
S4 E6Pure Evil
Hear me well! As of today a new Dave is born. A Dave who for lack of better words is...pure evil.
[about Bill] Oh God, I have created a monster.
No, he was already a monster. You just made him a very popular monster.
Why did we go to Hawaii together?
That was a dream.
Oh... Wait a minute, I'm pretty sure it wasn't.
All right then. How was it?
Not that good, actually.
I'm sorry.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NewsRadio pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.