Sexual harassment is no joke, sweet-cans.
S4 E7Catherine Moves On
Desperate phone call: great idea. My ex-boyfriends did it to me all the time.
Does it work?
They usually end up stalking me, so if you're lucky, Catherine might come to your fire escape tonight.
S4 E8Stupid Holiday Charity Talent Show
My mother always told me I had a beautiful singing voice.
Well, my mother made me wear a dress 'til I was nine. They make mistakes!
So, Lisa, are you going to wow us tonight?
If I have to, sir.
So what do you do? Gymnastics? Flaming baton twirling?
Without mechanical help of any kind, I can solve any complex mathematical equation suggested by the audience.
That's great, if you go out nude and leave out the math part.
S4 E9The Secret of Management
Bill, who is that man, and what the hell is he doing?
Oh, Cadbury's my new manservant. Isn't that right, Cadbury?
CCadbury
The master is correct.
You hired a butler?
I prefer the term "gentleman's gentleman".
See, Dave and I, we could talk about... guy stuff.
Guy stuff? I can do that.
No...
Yes, I can, try me.
You think?
Yes.
[pause]
That Lisa's sure got some cute ass, huh?
S4 E10Look Who's Talking
Do you really think that Bill is going to spend three hours a day teaching his child the difference between integrated and non-integrated algebraic functions?!
No, but raising children is about love. Didn't you have any love when you were growing up?
Yes, of course we had love, at very judiciously determined intervals. I'm sure Bill is just going to lavish it on them all the time!
Dude, you can't adopt a baby.
Why not?
Actually I don't know why not, but there's gotta be some reason.
S4 E11Chock
Dave, there comes a time in every friendship when you have to say "I never liked you. Get lost."
It's like my father used to say: "When I was a child, I thought as a child and spoke as a child. And when I became a man, I took that child out back and had him shot."
Bill, was your father in the Khmer Rouge?
Automotive sales.
S4 E12Who's The Boss: Part 1
When did you get the piano in here?
Over lunch. I find that I do my best work behind the piano, like Beethoven.
Or Steve Allen.
Bottom line, the workers just want a bigger part of the profit sharing program.
How much do they have now?
None.
So, I guess they just want some.
Yeah.
Will you fix my glasses?
Sure.
Nice doing business with you.
S4 E13Who's The Boss: Part 2
Spare me. If I believed in fairy tales I wouldn't have dropped out of kindergarten.
[Dave and Lisa are campaigning for the Program Manager's job, which neither one of them wants]
I have a two-part question, chief. One, what does Lisa look like naked? And two, what does Lisa feel like naked? This question is for both candidates.
I'll field this one. As a prospective news director, it would be improper for me to answer that question. But if the unthinkable was to happen and I was to lose this election, well, then I could answer that question in almost pornographic detail.
[nodding, impressed] Good answer.
S4 E14Security Door
Dave, we have got to get rid of that security door.
No, we don't.
Yes, we do. A little bird just flew into the glass and died.
Really? [They go over to look.] Matthew, that's a Cornish game hen.
Doesn't it make you want to cry?
You didn't even bother to defrost it.
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