Mr. James quotes from NewsRadio

Ahh, shreddin' a heart. If that's not a metaphor for... something, I don't know what is.

I am a cipher, a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce.

If I increased the budget every time morale was low, the guys in my asbestos factory would be driving around solid gold Cadillacs by now.

Dave, please. You don't drop a piranha in a kiddie pool and then stick around to watch the bubbles.

I've got so many lawyers lined up to see me, you'd think I had tobacco leaking outta my breast implants.

Spare me. If I believed in fairy tales I wouldn't have dropped out of kindergarten.

Dave, please, I don't think now's the best time to regale you with stories of my world famous root beer jacuzzi.

Seriously, Dave. If that eulogy went on a minute longer it would have been yours.

James James, the man so nice they named him twice.

Boy, I love a good party. You love a good party, Joe?

Joe

That's why I went to college, sir. That's also why I didn't graduate.

Yeah, me neither. So what? Didn't stop me from building a million-dollar empire. Didn't stop you from becoming a... what do you do again?

Joe

I'm an electrician.

Well, things were different in my day.

Dave

Mr. James, I didn't see you come in.

Yeah, that's the way I like it. Like, uh, that magician guy. What's his name?...

Dave

David Copperfield?

No.

Dave

Siegfried?

No.

Dave

Roy?

That's the one.

Dave

I made a small error in judgment.

A small error in judgment... What exactly would that be, Dave? Would that be Matthew's desk, or the dinner with Matthew, or the dinner with Lisa or the second dinner with Lisa?

Dave

Okay, I may have made three or four small errors in judgment.

No, they weren't errors, Dave. They were decisions and that's your job. No, the only error I see is that you're letting your people push you around and make you second-guess your decisions.

Dave

Of course, you're right.

And now you're letting me do it. Want my advice?

Dave

Yes.

Well, I'm not gonna give it to you.

Bill

Say, Joe, who's the black private dick that's a sex machine for all the chicks?

Joe

Bill, I think that would be Shaft.

Bill

And who's the cat that won't cop out when there's danger all about?

Joe

Again, Bill, we're talkin' 'bout Shaft.

Bill

Damn right.

Joe

You know, they say that cat Shaft is one bad mother-

Matthew

Shut up, you guys!

[entering] Hey, what's goin' on?

Bill

We're just talking about Shaft.

I can dig it.

Dave

Sir, it's about the budget.

The budget? Don't I pay someone else to think about that?

Dave

That would be me.

Well, then, why am I thinking about it? You know, you're not giving me much bang for my buck here, Dave.

You're sleeping with the boss now, Lisa. What do you think the staff's gonna feel about that? You know what people think about Yoko Ono.

Lisa

Yes, I do sir.

What about you Dave, you know what they think about Paul McCartney.

Dave

You mean John Lennon.

No, people liked him.