Johnny Johnson quotes from NewsRadio

Johnny Johnson

I'm a hollow man, Dave. I'm a cheap chocolate Easter Bunny.

Johnny Johnson

[to Lisa] I know that you probably hate me. I don't blame you. But believe me, never a day goes by without my thoughts turning to you. Even as I battle stray dogs for scraps of meat in urine-soaked alleys, all I can think of is Lisa Miller.

Dave

That's... quite the green duffel bag you got there.

Johnny Johnson

Thanks. I found it in some of Mr. James' belongings.

Dave

Where?

Johnny Johnson

Landfill in Mongolia.

Max

Johnny, Mr. James might be going to prison. Why are we celebrating?

Johnny Johnson

Care to take this one, Dave?

Dave

Johnny wants Jimmy in jail. It is all part of his evil plan. You know, the evil plan I've been warning you about.

Johnny Johnson

Bingo.

Johnny Johnson

While you were on the lam, your board of directors elected me CEO.

That's impossible. My board of directors would never do that. [Johnny gives him a folder; Mr. James looks inside] Of course, I didn't think my board would have naked hot tub orgies. So you blackmailed them, did you?

Johnny Johnson

No, I bribed them. I gave a naked hot tub orgy.

So, what have you been up to?

Johnny Johnson

Well, I'm a wino.

A wino! Imagine that.

Johnny Johnson

Last week they elected me king of the winos.

Did you hear that? King of the damn winos!

Johnny Johnson

It's burning you up inside, isn't it?

To a crisp. Usually, when I crush someone they stay crushed.

Johnny Johnson

[describing Lisa's kisses] Sweet, salty, never dull... that's Lisa.

Dave

No, that's microwave popcorn.