Nobody is going to hurt you, Abby.
You're just saying that to make me feel better.
Did it?
Yeah, can you say it again?
Nobody's gonna hurt you, Abs.
S3 E21Bloodbath
We just got off on the wrong foot.
The wrong foot?!? The only right foot is my foot up your a--
Abby!
AAbby (drunk in Gibbs' basement)
You know; I never understand why people drink alcohol when they're depressed - because alcohol is a depressant. So now; I'm still depressed; and I'm nauseus...and I'm really drunk. Which means that tomorrow, I'm going to have to fight off a hangover while I'm in court, and some ambulance-chasing attorney tries to attack my credibility.
...Because I think that this - might all be my fault...
Maybe it is.
How can you say that, Gibbs? Just because some - some defective lunatic can't get it into his head that I think he is a defective...lunatic... That is not my fault. It's not my fault at all... It's not my fault. [realizing it really isn't her fault] it's not my fault. Huh. [picks up a hammer and chisel] I see why you like to work on the boat, Gibbs. Very, very cathartic. [puts the tools on the boat and breaks off a chunk] Oops. [gives Gibbs back his tools]
[Tony & Gibbs have just found Abby, (who is in a very "Wonder Woman" pose) repeatedly shocking the hitman with her stun gun]
I'll be with you in a minute, Gibbs. [continues shocking the man] And don't look up my skirt!
[laughing, nods in approval] Okay.
I love her you know. I-I love her. You don't get it, do you? Huh? She wants everyone to believe she doesn't love me. Hell, I think even she believes it sometimes. [turns to the mirrored window between the interrogation room and the viewing room] Tell me what, how come, if you don't care about me, you can't take your eyes off of me right now. Huh? You can lie to the rest of the world, but you can't lie to your heart. Can you, Abby?
Gibbs leaves and turns out the lights in the interrogation room, revealing that there is no one on the other side of the window.
No, no, no, no...Abby? Abby! Abby! Look, I know you're in there! Abby!
Walking down the hall away from the room, Gibbs smiles.
HCHotel clerk
However, if you folks are unhappy with the room in any way.
AAlbert
(whispers) Stay single.
HCHotel Clerk
Just let me know and I can see about you getting you an upgrade.
(They walk into the room and it is covered in blood and human tissue.)
AAlbert
I think we'll take that upgrade.
Apparently there was some kind of bloodbath.
Mondays. What's the body count?
Who said anything about a body, DiNozzo?
S3 E22Jeopardy
[Abby has come up to the squad room to take pictures of the dead man.]
Why do I feel like everyone's staring at me?
Because they are.
Did I do something wrong?
Have you ever been to Disneyland, Abby?
Every summer.
Yeah. You know those camera toting tourists with white socks up to their knees wearing fannypacks?
Well, yeah. We spend half the time laughing about [Abby looks down- she is wearing white knee length socks and a plaid skirt and has a camera around her neck]-- oh, my God. I've turned into my Uncle Larry.
[Ziva has come down to Autopsy to see if there is any new discoveries pertaining to the death of a suspect she accidentally killed in the elevator.]
And you probably shouldn't be down here.
I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be in the field, can you please 'please' tell me where I should be?
Well, I can understand your feelings of alienation.
Everyone's avoiding me! Do they think I am just going to lose control, just enter the building and massacre everyone?! I mean, I am being treated like a leopard.
I believe the phrase is 'like a leper'.
My father used to say "You must live for today; because yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never come."
Yeah, most people don't know this, but financial disputes, second-leading cause of divorce.
Really? What's number one?
Marriage.
[A dead body is lying in the squad room elevator.]
I've been traveling to crime scenes for a good many years now, but I can say with total confidence that this is the shortest commute I've ever had.
And one of the few times I didn't get us lost.
True.
CCynthia
Here's everything, 9 a.m with the GAO, 10:30 with the ATCC.
And after lunch a meeting with the BOB.
CCynthia
Uh, that's congressman Bob Summers, he's a friend.
S3 E23Hiatus: Part 1
[The team is sitting in a car parked at the docks, watching a freighter]
This is so "Usual Suspects"...
Tony, your dying words would be, "I've seen this film."
These quotes come from Wikiquote's NCIS pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.